Is it fare?

[Rudolph26]

She was 27, plump and beautiful to the world around her. But, to herself she was average when wearing her own skin, and extraordinary when wearing another's. So, she did plays since she was 7, and loved the life on the stage because it was a safe cocoon from reality. For the moment she stepped onto the stage she knew that eventually the curtains would drop and the scene would end.

Little did she know that once off the stage, theatrical attire was regarded as "unwise" to wear in the public but only for women, and especially if it cosplayed an animal. Why? Because it was looked upon sensually by men and could give men the "wrong idea." Yet, men could do the same thing and it would be regarded as funny or cute. But, she was an artist, and considered her cosplay to be another expression of art. Even more so, she considered it to be an expression of herself and talent.

So, why do I speak of this women? Because this women is me. I love to cosplay, especially as different animals. No, I don't do it every day but I attempt to create a new character, or mimic a new character once every few months or so. I do it when I'm bored and feel an artistic urge. I love to see if I can pull off the perfect cosplay, and I love to challenge myself to create new characters. However, because of the fact that I'm a women, and I'm considered an attractive one. It is looked down upon and considered to be "advertising the wrong message to men." Even though my clothes our modest and my poses are cute, my body alone makes the statement that I'm trying to look sensual and allure men in a snare. It doesn't matter that this isn't my intent in the least. It doesn't matter that I want people, both men and women, to look at my art expression and view it as a just a beautiful work of art. All that matters is some people consider it wrong, and only because I'm an attractive women dressed up in the cosplay of a fox. I bet a majority of you just read that and thought to yourself; well, of course a women dressed as a fox is sexualized. Yet, I guarantee if I said an attractive man was dressed as a fox you would not scrutinize it in the same fashion, if at all.

My loving father approached me the other day in concern after I had cosplayed as Holo the Wise Wolf from Spice and Wolf. I was dressed in a long sleeve purple sweater, black jeans and boots with a scarf tied around my waist and sash holding "wheat" around my neck. Two fluffy orange ears puffed out from either side of my long hair, and big fluffy tale; which mirrored the color of my ears, hung clumsily attached to my back. The only piece of the cosplay I was missing, was the ruby red apple eyes Holo possessed. To me, this was a work of art. I had the look almost completely down. But, to my father, he was gravely concerned about my appearance and me posting photos of my work on social media. He was afraid it would grab the wrong kind of attention.

Do not miss understand me. I know my father's intentions are good, and I understand why he was concerned. But, it bothered me that he felt that because of how some men are, I shouldn't express this part of myself to the public. I'm an artist in every way, shape, and form. It bothers me that something I love doing is taken out of context and I am made to feel that since men already view me as a sexual object, I must refrain from being too beautiful, or cosplaying in order to prevent men from stumbling. I hate that its made out to be my fault, even though I am only doing what women love to do; which is to look and feel beautiful. Beautiful to me is not something that needs to be sexualized. Beautiful to me is equivalent to watching a perfect sunset. It takes your breath away and gives one reason to keep on living to see the next day. Beautiful is when you have a flawed canvas and you still make it express something that means the world to its viewers. Beautiful is when you're being yourself, and expressing it for the world to see so they too may be inspired to be the rare beauty that they are.

I learned a long time ago that it doesn't matter if I am dressed as the most modest person in the world. Some men will always sexualize me because of two simple truths. I have a nice rack and ass. I wish I could say this with pride, but in all honesty, I can't help but say it with a hint of disgust. Why? Because so often men have made it clear that is all they see. So, in my mind. If men are going to act like this either way with me, then I should at least be allowed the freedom to be myself and do what I want to express myself and my artistic abilities.

Should I not at least be permitted that right?

[misslillie]

You can express yourself in this manner but be aware there may be unwanted consequences. Fair? Life is neither simple or fair.

[Rudolph26 in reply to misslillie]

It’s sad, but I can’t say your wrong. To be honest, I don’t blame men for thinking what they do when it comes to this. I just find it frustrating and sad that something I consider an Art is taken out of context. Your right though, life is neither simple or fair.

As for expecting to receive unwanted attention. I’ve expected that every day of my life no matter how I dress. I guess that’s why I care less. If I saw a major difference between when I supposedly “advertise” verses when I don’t, then this wouldn’t even be a question. But sadly, it’s about the same amount of attention either way.

[Hidden]

I'm not sure what to say. I know how some men are and they're disgusting. So many guys get way too into watching porn and all that, they are way too visual. You are a human being, not a bunch of sexualized body parts. In the past I was very into acting and drama and learning about plays. I've also worked as a movie extra. I can understand enjoying putting on different outfits and costumes and trying to play different characters. When this pandemic ever eases up, maybe you should look into joining some kind of community theater group. But in the meantime it might be for the best to stop posting these pictures of yourself over social media, some men will take it that you're advertising yourself. I don't think your dad is trying to stifle your creativity, he's just looking out for you and being protective.

[Rudolph26 in reply to Hidden]

I definitely agree with what your saying concerning my father. I know he isn’t trying to stifle my creativity. He said what he did out of genuine concern. Thank you for your insight

[Hidden]

Hey I read your last post too and I wanted to think about it before I responded. It genuinely seems to me from your other posts there is a running theme in your life where you just really really want to be and feel accepted and appreciated for who you are on the inside. It seems to me that you really want to just feel free to be you without fear. I really like that and it is a natural desire and need. But it seems to me that you feel frustrated and can feel that this need is going unfulfilled.

I may be wrong in all this but this is my feeling. If Im right then I too am the same in my own way. It saddens me that I dont feel accepted or understood and able to be me. But this is in my own way too. I feel I have to hide myself for others to be happy. I always felt this growing up and it hurts.

But in and amongst all this horrible world there will be a few people who accept us and want to appreciate who we are fully. They wont expect that we need to change in order to satisfy their own peace of mind. They will accept us for who we are.

If that anime picture is anything to go by I know full well that what you dressed in was modest and not intended to be sexual. But yeah your dad seems like he was just being a normal protective dad. And maybe he has a point about your safety too, Im not entirely sure of the context of sharing photos as Im not familiar with it. But I know you were just being you and doing what you felt comfortable with and thats cool. Im glad thats what you like. You are accepted, but by the right people. I for one accept you. Youre doing ok 😊👍

[Rudolph26 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks, I really appreciate it. And yes, my costume was the same as the photo above. That’s why it struck me as odd that it would be sexualized. And to be honest, someone did message me and was turning it into something that it wasn’t. However, this isn’t the first time I’ve received attention like this.

I do want the freedom to just be myself. I’m a makeup artist and it’s my job to do makeup on people as well. So, it’s frustrating when things are taken out of context. Especially since I love my job, but I hate the reactions to certain things such as cosplay. Something that is considered completely normal for others is sexualized with my simply because of how my body looks.

I’m sorry you deal with similar struggles in this regard. It sucks to say the least. I hope one day we both can feel more accepted for simply being us. Thank you again for your comment. It means a lot

[Hidden in reply to Rudolph26]

Yeah, I can understand why you would think it was odd the way your costume was sexualized. The fact someone did this says more about them than you.