My head hurts!

[Tealb]

Do I trust my ex again?

I split with my ex just over a year ago for the 2nd time after finding him back at his ex from before me. Thing is, she knew nothing about me & turns out over the last 4 years he's been back & forward between us both. I only found this out after taking with her & she took him back again.

I seen him on a dating site a couple of months ago & contacted her to see if they were still together (they were) so she kicked him out.

He has since been in contact with me telling me how sorry he is & that he was only back with his ex because of his son. That it's me he loves & wants to have a future with. He said that he has changed & would never hurt me again or go back to his sons mother because he doesn't want to live without me or his family. (his family don't get on with her & have all stayed in contact with me)

Do I trust him again after he lied to me last year? Do I ever take him back?

I still love him, but I have told him that I'd need to be able to trust him again first, so we are starting to get to know each other again as friends.

Can I trust him again? Can he change?

[LennyL]

Say goodbye!!! You don’t want to be an option you should be his priority. Respect yourself enough to walk away. Make up, break up, cheating... the trust is gone. You can’t rebuild it. Trust me you are wasting your time.

[Helpingmyself]

Don't go back right away, either try counseling or just call it quits. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Don't be a door mat, think of your happiness.

[Tealb in reply to Helpingmyself]

Thanks guys, I've already told him that the trust has gone & he would need to earn it back in order for me to consider it. But in my heart I really want to see where this can go, even though my head is saying how I shouldn't. I won't go back straight away. I know if I did, I'd be constantly looking over my shoulder wondering if he was texting someone else & can't live like that. I've come too far from where I was. I won't be an option for him.

[grindhaus]

Dear Tealb, it's no wonder that your head hurts, bc you've been letting someone KICK YOU IN THE HEAD-- How many times does it take for you to get your heart stomped and your head kicked in for you to decide that it's not worth it?

He did this TWICE? You let him?!?

Stop wasting your time and your life. Stop being a target. Stop being a doormat. If you don't respect yourself, who will? It clearly is not him.

The rest of your life and a clean start begins as soon as you BLOCK HIS NUMBER.

Don't chat, don't facebook, don't meet for coffee or a walk. Don't talk to him to let him know your decision, cause he'll talk you 'round. You don't have to feel like you hate him. You just don't have time to waste. Build new relationships and stop recycling the trash.

Trust me, I've been there and been a co-dependent. Move on.