Wearing thin

[Womannchains]

This week has been a fight with my own inner demons, my depression has just tormented me, and the fact that most nights I only sleep from 2 to 4 hours, well, it starts to wear me down. I see in my own patterns how pain and anxiety increase 10 fold by my insomnia, then when the pain and anxiety get out of control, my depression takes over completely. And I have been having such dark thoughts, and when I sleep these damned nightmares, the vicious cycles just keep me on edge, and I can't focus, can't stop or slow my mind in the least.

I see these patterns in my daughter as well. I don't cope well with stress, or anxiety. So I am in flight or fight mode 24/7. I get so fucking angry at myself, for being this person who is letting depression and anxiety wear me down, wear me so thin I feel like I could just disappear into thin air.

[Hidden]

Fighting with inner demons is very hard, terrifying and something so bad that word are not enough to express it . I know suffering from depression is like having a storm inside of mind. And do not be angry at yourself , you are strong , a warrior fighting with depression , please remember you are not alone and I am sure you will be your happy self again.

I hope my reply might have given you some hope.

[Sprinkle1]

I think I understand where you are, I have been a depression/anxiety person all my life, been on antidepressants for decades. I am on one that is working Very well for me now, Cymbalta 50 mg daily, when the anxiety is crippling my Dr. writes me a script for Lorazapam it works fast. I also take 100 mg Trazadone at bedtime, it gives me good sound sleep, the dreams were quite vivid to start with, not nightmares, now they are tamed down, Dr. put me on that as I

was like you getting only 3/4 hours sleep. Do not blame yourself for your condition, my therapist told me "It is not Your fault", it is mental illness, you need, care, support, love and understanding. I am a great believer in therapy, had a lot in my time over the years, after this last 3 year trip thru hell I was given her name, she specializes in depression, anxiety, PTS, etc., She has made such a big difference in my life, I a functioning A1 now. Talk to your Dr. depression tends to run in family's perhaps that is why your daughter is also ill.

Please do not beat yourself up, it an illness, like being diabetic, having heart problems, or cancer. Most of us have something(s) wrong with us, we have to search out help. There is a book I like to recommend, I read it 30 years ago by Dr.Scott Peck, "The Road Less Traveled" it was in the top 10 best seller list for 7 years, it helped me a LOT. Amazon has it used/new, First line, first page, he says "Life is difficult", and Oh yes it is!!!! I still use tools I learnt from the book now, so Please Do Not Give Up on Yourself, you are a worth while person, stronger than you realize. Write to us, we are fellow sufferers here, we can relate, those who can will reach out to you offering love and support. I send you Peace, courage, strength, belief in self, love and big Virtual Hugs.......