I am so angry with my toxic family and nephew!!!!

I don't know where to live anymore. I'm stuck in a bad situation and there's no way out of it. I'm 50 years old and I'm back living with my parents. It's my mom who wants me here, my dad doesn't. I used to have a section 8 voucher and I lost it. I don't really want to try to get it back, I just moved from crappy apartment to another lousy apartment. I don't even have a car anymore. What really makes me mad is my sisters son, my 21 year old nephew is living here too. If I got along better with him I wouldn't mind, but he is VERY disrespectful to me and his grandparents and I'm tired of living with an absolute jerk. I don't know what to do anymore, I feel ready to want to murder everyone in my family-don't take that seriously, I'm not a violent person but I am so frustrated with this living situation. And I'm mad at myself. I need a job and it doesn't seem like anyone will hire me. I'm mad that I depend on disability, I'm mad that I can't connect with anyone in real life. I have no friends and I don't want to talk to my ex. I'm mad at the world and I hate Donald Trump and the list goes on. I'm so full of venom it isn't healthy. My nephew is up at 3am talking to people online and making sick jokes. If I had this punk for a son I'd be confiscating all of his computer equipment and be enforcing that it has to be quiet by midnight. He gets away with too much bullshit around here. My dad doesn't enforce anything and he only has my nephew around to help him mow his lawn and do home repairs. This is such a f'd up situation. I wish I was dead. I hate everyone in my family. It's almost 1am right now, if I had a car I would drive away from here and hang out at a store parking lot for awhile, it's too toxic being around the misfits around here, and they're always trying to tell me there's something wrong with me. Hope they all burn in hell.

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I’m so sorry that you have to live with your parents momentarily, and unfortunately with a disrespectful nephew. It must be very frustrating and it seems as if you feel stuck there?

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Thank you for responding to my post. I feel VERY stuck here and there is no solution. I'd try to see if I could go to a women's shelter if it would help. Especially because of this pandemic it's not the best idea to go there either. I might go stay at a nearby motel for a month, but that would eat up all my money.

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Also living with parents - My nephew also living with us steals things blankets, books and toys I have brought for my son can’t do anything because family support him

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I hear you. You always hope that your family will be there for you and sometimes they're the worst people to be around!!!! I'm sorry you're in a bad situation too. I'm considering going to stay at a motel for a month, I could possibly get a car for $1000 to $ 2000 and just live out of the damn car. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. What am I even living for anymore??? Sometimes I wish I would just get the coronavirus and die, I don't like living like this.