Trauma

[Butterfly20_]

I’ve always lived in a toxic home/environment it was normal to me... I knew that I was sad, I knew that when I went to school I would pretend to be happy and the moment I was alone I would cry and write in my journal about how miserable I was. I’m now 20 years old and I’m still that girl pretending to be happy it has gotten so easy to pretend yet I know that the mask I’m wear is slowly but surly falling because I’m letting life pass me by. Even before the pandemic I’ve been quarantined in my room at every moment I’ve never allowed myself to really make connections with people because I’m scared and I don’t even know what I’m scared of, but that’s been my life for as long as I could remember - being afraid and I’m just writing this to say I’m done being afraid, we’ll I want to be done being afraid but I don’t know how to break this sadness cycle.

[Sunflowerxxxxxx]

One baby step at a time💕

[mvillarreal]

Hello! It sounds like you want to stop being sad and scared, but you're not sure how to get there. Furthermore, it sounds like you've experienced a lot of trauma during your childhood that you still need to process. Based on what you've said, I'm wondering if maybe it would be good for you to process your past traumas with the help of a therapist. What do you think of that?

[Butterfly20_ in reply to mvillarreal]

Yes I’ve definitely been thinking about talking to someone, because I just feel so lost and I need to clarification

[SuZQ154]

So sorry you are going through this! You sound sad and fearful. I used to be like that.

Christian counseling helped trememdously. It gave me a safe place to unfold my past and its effect on me. It also gave me a safe place to vent, cry, be angry, and ultimately forgive and learn some new, healthier ways of living my life. Through it, I learned I was OK, I was enough, and I was loved, loving, and lovable. I never thought or felt that before. Would counseling be an option for you?

Please know ...You are loved, loving, and lovable!!