Drifting apart from a friend

[clairecreative]

Hello everyone,

Thank you for the kind responses to my last post. Another thing going on in my life is I am drifting apart from a friend of 12 years and no longer want to be friends with them. They lied to me about certain things and have not given the same amount of care as I have in our friendship. When I talked to them about how I felt, my response was left with anger, resentment, and sadness on their end and I feel as though my feelings are not being acknowledged. I feel like I haven't been friends with them for years, how can I break things off in the best way possible?

[Hidden]

That sounds heavy, but I kinda know what you mean. If it were me, I would probably have a talk with them and just rip the band-aid off, or leave them a long message to read/listen to when it's convenient for them. Sometimes one important thing so as not to cause an argument or a difficult parting is not to be very accusatory. Eg, instead of "you haven't cared as much as I have" try something like "sometimes it feels like you haven't cared as much as I have" you know? And if your message is met with much anger or backlash especially if they start insulting or yelling at you or something, it might benefit you more to just say goodbye and leave them at that point. It wouldn't be worth listening to that I don't think. I really hope this helps and I wish you much luck! 👍

[clairecreative in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your response! I agree, it is never good to leave things on a bad note. With us, it started headed in that direction, so I just said goodbye. I didn't want to resort to blocking them on social media and things, but it also got to that point yesterday where that is a part of the saying goodbye process.

[Anij3443]

The easiest and best way is just to let things go. As in, stop talking, texting, emailing, hanging out, etc. Leaving in a ball of glorious flaming words is never the best idea. Wish them the best and many blessings and simply move on. I'd say that being open to future friendships with them again would be a good idea but only you really know that.

In the end you are the one that handles it wisely and you leave the road open to them reestablishing it if they get their lives figured out. Blessings to you and yours.

[Hidden in reply to Anij3443]

Just before Christmas last year I had arranged to have met with a friend in town on the Saturday just beforehand and a few days beforehand I had rung her to ask if we were still off out that Saturday but no answer and then I had tried a couple more times no answer so I decided that if I hadn't heard anything by that Wednesday afternoon then I would assume it was off and no I didn't hear anything so what I did was I went and made other plans and had asked a trusted friend who had been there for me after I had cried down the phone after someone had a go at me about leaving my current job if she would like to join me that day instead at the park and I had apologised for the short notice and understood if she couldn't come and said about what had happened and she said I was right to make other plans and yes she would have loved to join me that Saturday and that we did and had enjoyed ourselves.

I hate that when people are full of promises and then none of them happen and I understand that people change their minds but it's just common courtesy to ring and apologise and explain saying you can't come to something so I decided that if they want to contact me my door is open but no way am I running after them and the friend who came with me to the park that Saturday afternoon is a true friend and makes me a priority and me her but the other one probably found something better to do but hadn't wanted to tell me and I was probably their back up if they had nothing else to do.

Never mind their loss and onwards and upwards!