Does anyone have any advice on how to stay positive when dealing with General Anxiety Disorder? I just feel like I have ruined my own life and self destructing. I have created an intrusive thought that I can seem to shake. It is too powerful and I believe it so much and it is something silly. So sorry for the sob story and self pitty.
Rock Bottom: Does anyone have any... - Anxiety and Depre...
Rock Bottom
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jwhitleyjr
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Nothing is ever silly jwhitleyjr when it pertains to our anxiety.
I think we all have felt sorry for ourselves that we are so sensitive
to everything around us. Know that it's okay to reach out to others
who understand, don't judge and support you.
We may not always know the answers but we care and that counts
for something.
As for myself, after many years in struggling with GAD and Agoraphobia,
I found the key to my success. It didn't come easy but for me it's been full proof.
I Meditate each and every day. I use different meditations including Affirmations
which have helped strengthen my core being. It's something I can't begin to tell
you in how it makes you feel knowing you have control and power over anxiety.
You then become capable in exchanging a positive thought from a negative one.
It takes practice and belief within you. The outcome is more amazing that you can believe.
Thank you Ms. A. Plus I will try more meditation.
I think also my issue is that I do not have any patience. I want to be cured right now and to not ever feels these symptoms.
jwhitleyjr, please listen to the wisdom of Jeff1943...he knows what he's talking
about. I'm hoping what he has to say will help you understand your anxiety and
intrusive thoughts as well as where they came from. Read his response over and
over until you feel comfortable in trying this approach. It works my friend. 
xx
Do not distress yourself, jwhitleyjr, we are all allowed to have intrusive thoughts. It will not cause you to harm yourself nor others. You know you would never do that. So let the intrusive thought come, give it permission to do so.
Life has not been kind to you in some respects, hence the anxiety disorder. Your nervous system hit anxiety overload a long time ago and has left you searching through the maze for the way out. Nervous exhaustion and bewilderment are the order of the day. We understand, we have all been there.
You treat intrusive thoughts the same way as you treat all the symptoms of anxiety disorder. Do not fight it. So many times I have said fighting only causes tension and stress: things you need less of, not more. So do the opposite, yield to your troubled thoughts: accept them for the time being, agree to co-exist with them just for the moment.
Acceptance involves masterly inactivity: you win not by the punches you give but by the punches that you take.
So what was it that has disturbed your quiet mind causing your anxiety to grow beyond the normal limits of endurance? As a result your nervous system becomes over sensitised causing all the symptoms of anxiety disorder including intrusive thoughts. We must reverse that process if we are to return to the quiet mind of our former days.
Only you know what caused your breakdown, your anxiety disorder where strange thoughts try to frighten us, where everything looks ten times worst than it is and ''worst case scenario" becomes your default mode. If the solution looks impossible seek the advice of your wisest friends and acquaintances. Then act decisively to neutralise the cause of your distress, you are allowed to be ruthless to achieve your purpose.
Then address your symptoms. You disarm them by accepting them, simple as that though a challenge to achieve. Acceptance with a capital A. When you Accept you no longer live in fear of threats you know to be toothless tigers. Anxiety disorder feeds on the fear hormones you produce, so deny your nervous system that which has caused its over sensitivity. And gradually you will recover no matter how long and how deeply you have suffered.
So remember: intrusive thoughts are just another harmless symptom of anxiety disorder. Why frighten yourself half to death every five minutes on something that is really harmless? The answer to all your problems are contained within 6 words.
Face. Accept. Float. Let time pass.
Google it.
You will not always feel like this I promise but recovery comes from within you, not imposed by non-existent magicians.
Hello Jeff
Thank you so much for all of this information care.
Well what I about to tell you is a bit strange.
Plus I do not mean to sound like a teenage.
My anxiety disorder happened back in April after two major panic attacks. Now how the attack how I got the attack you might find strange. I even had intrusive thoughts before I had this disorder.
I was freaked out about being in a relationship with a woman much older than me. Someone old enough to be my mother, so for me that was too much. I tried my best to get past the age and look for the person for who they are. But I realized that dating someone that much older is just not my thing. So when we officially committed it spooked the hell out of me.
After the second panic attack it seemed like I became afraid of almost everything. I got over them except for one fear and that is the radio. When a song has a long pause after it, I feel something is going to attack me.
This all started from work. I heard a song where a singer was screaming and that scared me. So, I kept anticipating that song to come on. But in actually I have freaked myself out over every song. So when each songs ends, it goes into a long pause I get anxiety and a symptom occurs.
So Jeff this is the hell I put myself in. I am so fixated with this belief. I think that if I keep being anxious about the music that I am protecting myself before hand from being attacked.
I feel like I am a slave to this thing because this is the only intrusive thought that I cant shake. I am so fixated with.
I keep trying to tell myself that nothing bad has ever happened in the two years I have been at this store with the music playing. But it is not working.
Also in all honestly. I feel like I created a sick theory/game that I like playing and in a sick way I am enjoying it. I am testing it out. I am testing it to see that I can get past it and it is not hurtful.
Plus I feel like I do not deserve to have relief because I have low self esteem.
I have issues Jeff.
Maybe you can give me some tips on Common Sense, Because playing this game is not.
I had a panic attack this week my first since May. I am not sure if my blood pressure skyrocketed because it felt like blood rushing to my head.
Now I am afraid of my blood pressure going up to 180 and getting a stroke or heart attack at 42.
I might just have to get a new job. I just do not have the common sense to get past this thought.
jwhitleyjr, everything that you describe is perfectly in keeping with how our mind plays up when our nervous system has become over sensitised due to too much anxiety.
Recovery depends on desensitising our nervous system and as Agora1 says everything I told you is in keeping with the method developed many, many years ago by Doctor Claire Weekes and which has been successfully used for 50 years to bring respite and recovery - including myself and Agora1.
No this is not some sales pitch, merely the passing on of the Acceptance method as devised by the person recently described in her biography as 'the woman who cracked the anxiety code'.
I am going to suggest that you read Claire Weekes' first book titled 'Hope and help for your nerves' and also published as 'Self help for your nerves'. It is a short book written in a way that makes it receptive to minds exhausted by anxiety. The book can be obtained for a few dollars either new or used on Amazon or Ebay.
Far better to read of this method straight from the horse's mouth rather than me trying to repeat everything that she wrote.
Weekes came from a traditional background different to most of us today and you will find some of the situations she describes as dated or old fashioned. But she wrote the book more than 50 years ago and like all of us was a product of her times.
On the combined U.S. and U.K. versions of Amazon her books have been reviewed 1,600 times and 90% judged her to be 'very good' or 'excellent'.
Please feel free to contact me any time using the Personal Message facility if you think it would help - but the first step along the Yellow Brick road to recovery is to read the book that will bring you understanding, overcome bewilderment and allow you to reclaim your quiet mind.
With that end in mind I wish you God's speed in your recovery.
Thank you Jeff for giving me so much hope. I thank you so much. I will get the Claire Weekes book, I have heard it has helped many.
But Jeff, I will not lie I am a bit scared.
We are all scared of the unknown. This book will bring you understanding and reassurance so any fear will be a lot less.
TodayI took a physical exam to get this particular life insurance. Great news I have lost 15 pounds thank God. It is good to be at 260lbs again, I was once 300lbs.
But the culprit at the office was their radio. Which triggered me and got my blood blood at a scary rate, very scare rate. First it was 171, then I thought happy thoughts and calmed down and it went down to 153.
I know you suggested and other people who have GAD suggested that it is not a good idea to get a Blood Pressure Machine. But I was heavily triggered yesterday and I thought my blood pressure went up in the 200s.
So, I am not sure if I want to get a monitor or not. I feel the monitor will make me even more scared and raise my anxiety higher.
The nurse told me that I can live a happy life with high blood pressure in the 170s on a regular basis.
So it was my fault of paying so close attention to their radio and I just felt something sky rocket in me.
I told the nurse that I have General Anxiety Disorder and I was triggered.
I have been working out for the past three days. But in the end will these intrusive thoughts hurt me and working out be counter productive.
The devil keeps coming after me. 15 years of intrusive thoughts wow.
John Whitley, Jr.
Your nurse was very wise, John, about the advice she gave you about blood pressure. Just as worrying about your anxiety makes your anxiety worse, so worrying about your blood pressure can make your blood pressure worse.
If I said to you: "High blood pressure can triple your chances of a stroke in the next ten years!" you might think: "OMG, that's me done for!" But if you look into it you might find that your normal chances of having a stroke in the next ten years is 1 in 15,000. So by tripling the risk you still only have a 1 in 5,000 chance. In other words the odds are still heavily in your favour and not worth worrying about.
If you do get a bp machine get an arm not a wrist one as they are more accurate and get a clinically validated one like an Omron. Then sit still for 5 minutes, not after a meal or a drink, no talking and take your bp 3 times at 1 minute intervals. Then add up the results and divide by 3 to get an accurate reading. But if you do get one discipline yourself to take your bp no more thsn once a week. Oh, and expect bp readings taken in a medical environment to be much higher than normal due to white coat syndrome. So your 170 systolic reading is probably 140 and your 150 reading 125.
A thought intrusive or otherwise cannot harm you, the power of anxiety is limited. Working out and losing weight helps burn up all that surplus adrenalin too much of which causes your nervous system to become over sensitised and involve you in all kinds of unwanted anxiety symptoms.
If the devil really has been coming after you for 15 years he would surely have caught you by now so it's not at all likely that you have satan on your tail, far more likely this is a symptom of anxiety disorder, only a harmless thought of no consequence.
Thank for getting back to me Jeff. I am so sorry for being over dramatic. All of this is new and scary towards me. I will try my best not be make my anxiety worst by worrying about my anxiety and blood pressure.
I will consider the blood pressure machine, thank you for the suggestions.
But for real though Jeff. When I went inside the clinic I heard their radio playing and at points where there were pauses in between songs I felt blood just rush through my chest and I panicked about it, especially it being a radio I was not used to.But I do not deny what you are saying about White Coat Syndrome, I have heard of it.
That statement about the devil. I should not say that. I should blame myself for my problems.
But not to be funny. I wonder if I will get that Life Insurance that I got the physical for.
Jeff thank you so much for being here.
I was not honest with you about something and I told Agora. Besides from the radio, the other intrusive thought that I have is pretty similar.
When I would watch a tv or movie, when scenes change I get anxious. This occurred because I was watching an action movie and in one scene I heard an explosion that scared me. So the same way I started to be afraid of the radio, I applied the same harsh theory to the tv.
John, when you read that book you will understand everything, the many and diverse ways it which anxiety can manifest itself. Understanding will bring reassurance.
But merely reading and understanding and receiving reassurance is only the beginning of your recovery. Next comes the truly important part which is to apply Doctor Weekes' Acceptance method to your own situation to achieve recovery.
Nothing worthwhile is easily won.
Sincere best wishes for your recovery,
Jeff
Thank you Jeff. I am sorry for feeling sorry for myself at times. Yesterday was just very scary.
Thanks Jeff, for stepping in. You have such a way with words. You're the best.
I will listen to him.
But does acceptance mean just dealing with fear no matter how painful the symptoms are? If so, I can work hard to do it.
You know jwhitley, acceptance is all about any intrusive thoughts, fears or concerns
that may cross our path. Our subconscious mind collects all this data and replays it
both while we are awake as well as in our sleep. Is it any wonder why we are inundated with terror and fear 24/7.
There is a book that both Jeff and I and others on the forum have read and followed.
Dr. Claire Weekes' spent many years struggling with Anxiety. She was the founder
of this theory of Acceptance that helped not only herself but her many patients.
Over the years, this theory that Jeff talks about has been used and proven by many,
many mental health professionals. It does work. It is not a magic pill, it's a relearning
of a habit we developed. If you haven't already heard of Dr. Weekes' take a look
on YouTube at her videos "Hope & Help for Your Nerves" She also has a book on
Amazon. Don't get discouraged. Nothing comes easy in life, but anything worth
having is worth striving for with practice and patience.
We'll get you there my friend. You took the first step in coming on this forum. There
are many, many caring and supportive people on this site who will help guide you as well. Asking questions, posting and responding to others is all a learning experience.
It will happen for you when the time is right and when you are ready. Meanwhile,
we are but a message away. You are never alone. xx
You are terrific.
One thing maybe its anxiety I am not sure. But on Wednesday at work I had my first panic attack ever. But it was due to being a bit triggered then I did improper breathing. If felt every time I got anxious it feel like adrenaline, I think. But in any case it felt like the adrenaline or blood rushed to my head. Since Wednesday I still feel small sensations. I know you are not a doctor, but I hope I am not at risk of a stroke.
I may not be a doctor jwhitley but I will say I remember those feelings/the rush
throughout my body and up to my head. Breathing properly (practice makes perfect) will counteract the adrenaline as it brings fresh oxygen throughout
your body. I could write a book lol
Thank you. Hey think about the book lol.
Oh I am....
Okay, I am really going to bed now..
Tomorrow is another day... Goodnight, sleep well. xx
Good night dear.
in reply to Jeff1943
These are such excellent points, thank you
Don't be sorry! I have anxiety and some days its very hard to stay positive and that's okay. I highly recommend doing journaling, Journaling helps me when I am having issues or when I have anxiety. If you can go for a walk, walks help for me and it gets me out of my mind sometimes and I learned today if you are having thoughts to either eat a sour candy that when you eat sour candy its changes your mindset into something else instead of the negative thoughts or if you have minty candy that helps too. If you need anyone to talk to or you need a friend you can always message me.
Thank you so much love pugs. I can do my best to give you good advice.
Thank you
Is it a cheating thought about a significant other? Just curious
No not about cheating
A very mediocre doctor once asked me “any idea why you’re feeling this way”
I blindly said no but he was insinuating that my significant other was the issue.
An objective opinion and honest question was enough to snap me out of it.
I have had GAD basically as long as I can remember. It has messed up my life at times. However there are many effective meds that can be taken long term. Second best treatment is exercise -- even a short walk every day. When my gym closed because of covid it was a nasty blow that I am still dealing with., And following a set daily routine helps a lot.
Good luck and know it is possible to have a good life even with this problem.
Don’t apologise you story is all too familiar . in terms of staying positive I would say that the way to look it is try to accept everything that’s happening to you once you accept anxiety as natural and almost as a friend it removes its power over you. Also looking at the thought as just a thought is a great way to feel more positive in the long run. As well as just finding stuff you enjoy to do with people you enjoy being with. Some great responses to this btw guys 👍🏻
If you don't mind me saying. It hard to accept it as a friend when it causes physical pain. No disrespect.
Of course I understand my anxiety causes me pain as well and to be honest I also see it as an impossibility to accept my anxiety and ocd but I know it’s the right thing if that makes sense?
I hear you.
But let me ask you this and no disrespect. If I am triggered for hours. Aren't I slowly killing myself? If I have high blood pressure all day. Would that increase my odds of a heart attack or stroke? I am sorry for sounding odd. Just trying to understand this anxiety thing.
No need to apologise I understand that point of you I think from my limited knowledge that blood pressure spikes only happen over a short period in terms of panic attacks etc I don’t think it constantly keeps blood pressure up. Obviously it’s better to not have any kind of high blood pressure but I think it’s like heart palpitations it’s not causing any long term damage but you’re better off speaking to your GP about those kinds of concerns as I’m sure they’re medication that helps reduce those kinds of symptoms
So if we go beyond anxiety. This is an issue I had before anxiety. Developing ridiculous theories. Constantly ruminating on them and being fixated on them. It has gone from one to the other and it has held me back in life. Where I can't focus on my career goals. So I need to be schooled on basic life lessons and common sense. Sorry for the self pitty
Hi, I was reading through this. It seems like what triggers your anxiety is the music your hearing at work, if I'm not mistaken??? Is there a certain reason why? Is the music loud so you can't concentrate, or do certain songs make you nervous or remind you of someone you know that you'd rather forget? I'm sensitive and I'm really into music so it affects me too. Sometimes when I'm driving to somewhere where I have to pay attention to directions I leave the radio off so I can concentrate on my driving. If you can figure out what exactly is making you anxious, then you can figure out how you can deal with it.
jwhitleyjr in reply to
My issue is a bit odd. I just have a vivid imagination and fixated on the idea that when there are pauses between songs. Something will attack me during those pauses. So I have an odd intrusive thought. There is something wrong. But I am fixated with this theory and I will not let go.
jwhitleyjr in reply to
So I feel lack of intelligence, crazy I don't know. But I am causing my own pain.
jwhitleyjr in reply to
So if we go beyond anxiety. This is an issue I had before anxiety. Developing ridiculous theories. Constantly ruminating on them and being fixated on them. It has gone from one to the other and it has held me back in life. Where I can't focus on my career goals. So I need to be schooled on basic life lessons and common sense. Sorry for the self pitty
in reply to jwhitleyjr
You don't have to be sorry for anything, I'm not the kind of person who's going to judge you. At least you're trying to figure out why you're getting these ideas. Maybe the best thing you can do would be to try to get a different job where you don't have to hear music constantly, I don't know. Kudos to you for working though, I don't have a job now and I'd feel better if I had any job at this point.
jwhitleyjr in reply to
Yes I thought about being at jobs where there is no music. We will see what happens. But it's a shame I have been working for this company for 4 years. Now I am scared of the radio all of a sudden. I am.just fixated with this theory
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