Parenting: part 2

[Starbrush]

Unfortunately it doesn’t end there. Today I was on a call with my best friend, he is male and currently staying in his country of birth. I really want to go see him for a couple days, the country he lives in has very few cases) but I absolutely know that it is impossible with my parents. They control everything about me. I’m basically a puppet for them. I owe a lot to my best friend for getting me through so much, he talked me down a couple months ago and stuck by me throughout everything that went down during quarantine with my parents. The catch is, my parents hate him. While I was on a call with him my mother and grandmother came in... critiquing my time spent talking to my friend telling me how useless and lazy I was. Once they left I just swallowed my pride and kept talking to him. My grandmother returned. This time she spent 10 ish minutes telling me how fat I will become because I never do anything.... I go on jogs every other day, I went on a 10km hike two days ago. Of course that’s not enough for them. I told her I was talking to my friend and she proceeded to joke about how if I lost my friends I would kill someone. Once she left I just felt awful once again and went out for a jog to get away from them. I came back after 30 mins to my grandmother and mother incredibly furious with me. Telling me that they can’t believe I was out for that long and shaming me for the sports apparel I had selected. The best part? I had told them I’d be out for 30-45 minutes... then during dinner I had brought up that I was planning to go to see my friend since I saved up just enough money to go. My parents proceeded to get very mad at me and tell me that if I ever did that they would kick me out and wouldn’t help pay for my tuition to university nor my accommodation and food. The financial dependency that I have on them makes me feel hopeless that I’ll ever get out of this situation. I already knew that being 18 would mean absolutely nothing because I am still completely under their financial control. There’s no way that I’ll get a job that can get me out of here yet. I already feel horrible that I’ve had to leech on them for years but I’m not sure how I’ll get the job, freedom and time I need to heal. Truth is every day I just feel more worthless and unable to do anything anyone wants from me. I don’t really know what to do.

[Kat_21]

I wish I knew how to help you more. It sounds very toxic. My mother was this way with me.

Thankfully I have my husbands family to stay with, I'm not sure what advice I can give you. Severing ties seems like the best choice to me, but I see how hard that would be.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I'm here if you need a friend. Just stay strong, maybe try and see a counselor, or just anything to vent.

I hope things get better.

[Starbrush in reply to Kat_21]

Thank you, unfortunately I can’t sever ties until I manage to find a job that is sustainable enough for that. I do hope however that since I will no longer be living with them I can get some space to heal. I also wish you the best too