over the years, i've put on weight because of my depression and anxiety
i used to be skinny but once my mental health got worse, the weight increased
i use food as a comfort and therefore 'treat' myself and give in to my cravings
on my good days, which are rare, i eat healthy
on my bad days, which is almost every day, i eat whatever i want - it could be pizza or kfc - and i also snack a LOT - crisps, chocolate, ice cream
in terms of exercise, i WANT to have a routine and do it a few times a week but because most days are bad, i don't have the energy or motivation to do anything
some days i'll exercise really intensely or go for a jog and then for the next couple weeks i'll be in bed eating popcorn - so obviously i cannot get results when i'm in a bad cycle like this
it doesn't help that i compare myself to all my 'skinny' friends and then feel fat and ugly
i love being outdoors and doing adventurous things but i'm now so unfit and it sucks
i was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and if anyone has any tips on how to break out of this toxic cycle
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sachoo
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I haven’t experienced this so I don’t know what it’s like but my personal advice would to, on your good days, don’t exercise really intensely, instead try and go for a walk so you can enjoy it instead of making it difficult for yourself. Everyday go to the mirror and point out one thing you love about yourself, too. I do this and it really helps! 💖
Are you on mental health pills? If so you need to research it's effects on you, cause most will cause you to gain weight that can't be taken off so easily and they also cause mood swings like you described. I have same issue I learned what was causing the issues, then focused on the solution. I quit my meds and lost my weight, got more energy by exercising, then went to a behavioral health program to help me become aware of what sets my issues off and just do my best to apply it even when I don't feel like it. Have you tried chakra healing meditations? Work for me and helps to reduce the negative energy within causing my anxiety and depression.
I have been through phases like that and currently in the fat and physically unhappy phase but not feel well enough to pick myself up and shake out if it.
Last time it happened (and because I have 0 willpower), I joined a slimming class and a friendly exercise group...For me, i needed that push but I felt the routine and a bit of impetus of get on & achieve spurred me on.
You maybe need to set yourself a daily or weekly goal - like walking or mini exercises just to build a routine you'll enjoy? Something you will want to go and do 😊
Hi Sachoo🌼 I also comfort eat, then feel rubbish and have no energy and sleep. The last 2 days I've kept a food and mood diary, I've eaten well and walked my dogs. I felt so conscious of my weight and unfit whilst walking, although pleased and positive about the last couple of days.
If I've wanted something sweet I've had sugar free jelly, it hit the spot.
Maybe keep a diary and write 3 good things in your day. It could be something simple like a nice cup of coffee or the sound of the birds.
Are you technically overweight? Or is it something that you might be building up in your head? I know that a lot of my anxiety/depression is wrapped up in how I perceive myself and if I go above a 5lb range that I’ve set for myself I start to consider myself the undesirable and overweight one. Even when I’m within the 5lb range I still don’t feel good enough or happy with myself
Sure! And honestly, weight doesn’t matter that much. Just a century ago being heavier was desirable and in some countries they still have feeding camps that plump up young girls to make them more desirable for marriage. As long as you’re healthy, and it sounds like you’re not obese or at risk in any way because of your health, that’s all that’s important. You have to decide if you think you’re beautiful or not. If you’re happy with your weight. And I know you said that you weren’t but a lot of my self criticism comes from society. That I don’t look like these models or that I can’t be the cute girl next door because of tv the girl next door is 20lbs lighter than me
thanks so much for this! it sounds like you understand how i feel. and yes, society and social media definitely plays such a big role in anyone having body confidence issues, which is horrible. at least we can relate.
but i guess i am healthy and i should be glad to have a body that upholds me and gets me through the day.
Sachoo, you seem to be in a lot of pain and trapped in this cycle of disordered eating and binge exercising. Some of this sounds like depression and anxiety, while most is the pervasive poison of diet culture and fatphobia. The only way I helped myself to escape this poison is by accepting myself for who and what I am.
Acceptance is the greatest gift we can ever give ourselves.
Society worships thinness and demands conformity to this arbitrary standard which very few people can ever meet. When we inevitably fail to measure up, we're taught to hate ourselves and think we lack "willpower" and "discipline." Both of these ideas are myths. There is no such thing as willpower. Society has indoctrinated us to believe that we are hideous failures when in fact the opposite is true.
We all do the best we can, especially now under extraordinary stress. Everyone copes differently; there is no one "right" way. Some of us read, binge watch our favorite shows, and a lot of us eat. There's absolutely nothing wrong with stress eating if it helps you make it through the day, or week, or month. They're called comfort foods for a reason. Give yourself permission to eat them without judgment. It's okay.
Others here have offered excellent suggestions. Keep a journal of your emotions, even if can you only write a sentence a day; it doesn't have to be anything elaborate. I also give myself a task each day to get myself out of bed. Even if my task is taking out the trash, or cleaning my cats' litter boxes, or running an errand, that's the reason I need to get out of bed that day. Once I'm up I'll stay up, and maybe even do some extra tasks if I can. But I don't force myself. Give yourself credit for whatever you can do. If your task today is to brush your teeth, or take a shower, or change your clothes, that is a success.
I also try to get out in nature. This is simply a walk around my neighborhood, again, nothing elaborate. I enjoy the trees, flowers, greenery, the breeze. They work wonders for me. If you can't get outside, sit next to an open window and feel the sunshine and fresh air.
If decide that your task is to exercise, start with something simple and straightforward like a neighborhood walk or a bike ride. If setting aside time for this every day helps you, then set it. It can even be your task that day: I need to get up because I need to take a walk today. You don't need to count steps, or work up a sweat, or set a brisk pace, or wear fancy workout clothes. Just leisurely stroll around your block. Maybe once you are comfortable with this, you can increase your distance or your pace. Maybe you can even go to a local park and walk there. My point here is to start small and gradually work your way up at your own pace. Find some activity you like and start with that.
Finally, please don't judge yourself. Believe me, I know it's hard. I often catch myself comparing me to other people. She's dressed nicely, I'll think, or someone else is skinny and I'm not. Then I remember - what's the point of comparing and judging myself with other people? It only makes me feel bad about myself. So I'm not skinny, so what? So I'm outside in old shorts and a baggy t-shirt, big deal. I have a lot of good things and I'm a decent human being. That's good enough for me. If people judge me solely on my appearance, then I don't want anything to do with them.
thank you so much for this, it really made me smile
i do need to learn on accepting myself and accepting that i am perfectly okay the way i am
society's expectations of perfection really does put an almost impossible standard and you're right in saying that most people can't live up to that, which is okay! we have all been conditioned into believing that thinness = beauty, which it can be, but beauty is in everything and everyone.
and you're right in saying that it is okay to stress eat or consume comfort food as long as it gets you through the day or week - i never looked at it like that, so thank you!
i do try and do something each day but it can be hard, when i have no motivation or energy - but i do need to give myself credit, even for brushing my teeth or brushing my hair (some may view these tasks as stupid but for people like us, even these can be hard)
and i should start small and build up exercising slowly, which i often forget. i too have been indoctrinated into believing that i have to be skinny, so whenever i feel okay, i work out intensely, which is the wrong way to go about it..
i'll try not to judge myself
thanks again for your message, it really helped
hope you're doing okay and reach out whenever 😊
(also your words are executed and put together very well, your writing is so eloquent) x
I'm happy to hear from you, sachoo. I'm also happy my words helped you.
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