How can I take back my life.

[mrbradyhimself]

My social anxiety has become crippling and in the work place has left me in a very bad position. No medication has had positive affects or more negative side affects. I'm afraid of losing my family because of this. I'm un sure what to do in these times. I have struggled with ADHD since the age of 8 so mixed with social awkwardness growing up and the constant being picked leading me not to want to trust to many people. I feel like I can't get back into a work life without feeling the fear of trying to have a conversation with someone. The list goes on with everything else being over whelming I am hoping to find any sort of help I can get.

[Hidden]

I don't have any advice, but I do hope that you will get better soon enough and I wish you good luck and wonderful sleep! 😁

[mrbradyhimself in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. and to you as well

[Tishfish]

I tell myself listen..half the time this shit Im thinking or feeling is real..but its psychosomatic...so that means its in my own mind..that I CONTROL. You are in control of your thoughts, you are in control of the situation. Use ur tools..like if I feel a panic attack coming then I use distraction..music..the calm app...whatever works to stop it from happening..you gotta find ur tools n use them..if ur an introvert and don't want to socialize..do the least socializing you have to in a work place setting and don't feel bad for it. If you feel nervous around people figure out why..what is it about them that triggers you. What is it about talking to them that makes u uncomfortable? Self defeating negative thoughts come to mind? Fear their gonna physically harm u? Bully you, harrass or make fun of u or make u feel not good enough? Where does the discomfort stem from..knowing this helps you to work to make your self comfortable within your limits and what you can learn do to change it to make it more comfortable for you. Example: If you don't like people too close than take steps back. Don't like to converse, use one word answers and make an excuse and leave the conversation if you can. If you have to talk..distract ur self use like.. an anxiety bracelet, play with change in ur pocket, tap your foot to a beat in ur head. Etc. Do what makes you comfortable. Find ur root. You mentioned trust..but not the kind of job you have. Do u work direct with the public..do have to see the same people often besides ur coworkers? If its random customers..its just a few moments of discomfort..tell your self you can deal..only just a few minutes til its over with. Believe in your self and practice, be patient with your self. Don't let your past haunt you. And family..well some don't always understand or support mental health issues very well..ur lucky if ur does.

[mrbradyhimself in reply to Tishfish]

I've been going to counseling for over a year now and practicing any sort of grounding seems impossible. I've never had much of a family for support system. I feel so hopeless every day. Its hard to think about how I use to manage life before but I feel like I've been broken for good.

[Beevee in reply to mrbradyhimself]

You are not broken. It’s just your anxiety making you feel that way. The old you is still there, waiting to surface once you stop struggling with how you are feeling and face those fears. They are just feelings and not a true reflection of reality. You are being bluffed by these feelings so call their bluff by living as if you didn’t have anxiety. Those symptoms will gradually fade away.

[Tishfish in reply to mrbradyhimself]

Aww. That makes me sad to read these things your feeling and that your having such a hard time. I can relate to not having family to understand or support your struggles. I don't want you to feel broken or find that your losing hope within your self. Your doing the right thing here by reaching out and finding others that are dealing with some of the same things you are. Your trying. I want you to at least see that within your self. Your reaching out and who knows..someone might have the answers or support your seeking. Keeping trying. Your not broken, maybe emotionally tired and that's understandable given what your going through.

[CoderMom]

That is challenging. I don't have ADHD, but was told years ago by one MD that he thought I may have ADD, although never diagnosed. I was teased most of my life also, and I also find it challenging sometimes to have conversation with people because I feel like I am just getting teased again. I have found that my work makes me communicate and that I stand up for myself assertively and try not to become a door mat and that seems to help, but trusting people are not going to hurt me, have not been able to get past that yet. It's been years.

[mrbradyhimself in reply to CoderMom]

I feel like I have tried to stand up for myself and for the most part I think Im just an easy target. I am very awkward or get nervous very easily. I do enjoy helping people but in the time we live in its hard to trust anyone

[CoderMom in reply to mrbradyhimself]

I am the same way myself. I am naive and gullible and a helper by nature and easily walked all over and deceived. I never know who to trust anymore. I have tried everything because the getting walked on part is so very painful, but I have not yet figured out how not to be taken advantage of. I hope you have better luck...

[mrbradyhimself in reply to CoderMom]

only unhealthy. avoiding everyone and trying not to make new friends. Hoping to to get back into it all soon

[lidt]

I don't have ADHD but I have a mild specific learning disorder + social anxiety disorder for anxiety I recommend you self-inculcation here is an example of mine:

sit in a chair

place your hands on your legs

relax your shoulders hands legs

close your eyes

take some deep breath not force yourself do it how you feel relax

say your goal in a positive way ' I will talk to people around me comfortably' NOT ' I won't be excited while talking people around me'

always positive sentences like:

'ı feel calm right now'

you can use it for many goals and repeat it 15-20 times while breathing calmly. you can do it every day and many times during a day.

ı hope you feel better

[mrbradyhimself in reply to lidt]

I will try this. thank you

[lidt in reply to mrbradyhimself]

you are welcome have a nice day