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[Anxiousmermaid57]

I struggle with anxiety and recently was hospitalized because of it. I am back home for a week now and had a panic attack today. I’m looking for support on dealing with this. I am doing therapy but got really discouraged today because I felt so good up until today. I’m mad at myself for having a panic attack

[Hidden]

Google mindful meditation youtube - hope that helps

[bobpollard]

I understand that kind of discouragement. Just remember that it is never a clean upward climb. You're always going to be going two steps forward, one step back, that kind of thing. But you can get where you need to be.

[bonkers65]

It will get better.

[Hidden]

When you are having a panic attack try (always easier said then done) to feel 5 things, see 4 things, hear 3 things, smell 2 things and breathe one big breath. Take the moment as it comes and know that it is only temporary.

Getting mad at yourself is understandable but try to approach it different. "Next time I will do this" "I am more than my fears" stuff like that. Find something that works for you.

We are all here for you and happy you are here. Keep on swimming.

[Anxiousmermaid57 in reply to Hidden]

I felt so anxiety free while I was in the hospital and felt good last week but my husband was home with me. He went back to work today and the anxiety just gets the best of me. I just want to snap my fingers and not feel this way anymore. I’m struggling so hard with acceptance of my anxiety

[Hidden]

In the hospital you knew you were safe. It was probably quite and not to many people or your normal worries of life there with you. Use the time you have while your husband is at work to start a hobby or talking to friends. Even if it is on here. Always push on.

[Becky121]

Oh yes. I can relate. I have severe anxiety and panic attacks. I ended up crouched down on the road the other morning, after being shouted at again by someone because I can’t do the new rules in society due to that virus. I know how you are feeling.

[Anxiousmermaid57 in reply to Becky121]

Is your anxiety crippling?

[Becky121 in reply to Anxiousmermaid57]

Yes. Oh yes. Exceedingly.

[Becky121 in reply to Becky121]

Well since I wrote that message, on the 29th May 2020, my husband suddenly and unexpectedly passed away at home.

He had a post mortem and it was his ischaemic heart disease and hypertension.

It’s a massive shock. Still can’t believe my lovely husband has gone.

My faith in the Lord is the only thing that keeps me going.

[Anxiousmermaid57]

I didn’t used to be so anxious. I’m just feeling so defeated right now. Why does this have to be so hard?

[Becky121 in reply to Anxiousmermaid57]

I know what you mean. The anxiety is disgustingly severe.

[Anxiousmermaid57 in reply to Becky121]

How do you cope with yours? I used to have a prescription for Xanax but it got to where they exacerbated my anxiety and I had to come off of them when I went to the hospital. They put me on an antidepressant to help me come off of them and I’ve been on that for about 2 weeks. I felt completely fine coming home and today I had the panic attack and I’ve felt defeated by it all day and been negative about it and I know it’s cause I was feeling good and felt that I would be ok and not have one. My therapist told me to accept the panic attack and not try to fight it cuz fighting it doesn’t seem to work for me. I’m readjusting to being back home and just don’t want to feel crippled by this anymore

[Agora1 in reply to Anxiousmermaid57]

Hi Anxiousmermaid, I wanted to let you know that I went through the

same thing some years ago after being in- patient. I too was better in the

hospital because of the structure of each day. (no surprises) Support help

around 24/7. I actually didn't want to go home. Once I did, it took me awhile

to settle in. I too was taken off Xanax and found that it was causing me more

anxiety because of the up and down effects of the medication.

I was put on Lexapro while in the hospital. It took about 6 weeks to reach

full efficacy. Once the SSRI took effect, I did very well w/o any benzos. The SSRI

stabilizes your emotions more and works for both anxiety/depression.

Give it time mermaid. Your doctor will adjust the dose accordingly. Use therapy

as it is an important tool in going further. I wish you well. xx

[Anxiousmermaid57 in reply to Agora1]

The psychiatrist in the hospital put me on remeron. And yes the structure of the day and round the clock help completely took away my anxiety. That’s why I’m so upset with myself. I know realistically that all of this will get better with time I just feel like it’s crippling me from doing normal chores around the house and being in tip top shape to take care of my 2 kids. After I get the anxiety or attacks it just feels like it debilitates me and it’s hard to function because it gets me down and it’s hard to bring myself back up. I tried meditating this morning and when I closed my eyes I felt like I was spinning and that scared me even more. And when I get negative it’s hard to be positive the rest of the day.

[Agora1 in reply to Anxiousmermaid57]

Anxiousmermaid, Remeron is a good drug, give it time and it should

help you. Now while on medication and using therapy is the time to

find other tools that may help you. Your therapist can suggest something

that may work for you. If you choose Meditation that it needs to be done

each and every day several times a day. Once you get use to calming your

thoughts through meditation you will be able to do it without thinking

when the occasion arises that you are stressed.

Accepting that Anxiety is not dangerous is another important step.

Anxiety starts as a thought and if that thought is fought than it continues

to grow. Have you read Dr. Claire Weekes book on "Hope & Help for Your Nerves"?

Her videos are on YouTube and you can take a look at what she has to say.

Understanding anxiety takes time and practice. We're here for you xx

[OR4377]

New here as well. I get the feeling of being mad at yourself, I was there and every now then it may come up.

It’s not your fault! Many times we think we are not normal- alien in how we experience life. You are just as normal as the next person.

You are here, you mustered up enough strength to be here today. Dear Mermaid...you are HERE🌻

[PastelPink20]

I’m going to be honest - I typed out this whole response and then I let my phone die and lost it all. 🤦‍♀️😅

I’ll try again friend...

It sounds like you are missing who you used be. You’re disappointed in yourself for where you are.

It feels like you’re losing and anxiety is winning.

I want to take a moment to celebrate all you’re doing. You got back home! You are going to therapy! You are reaching out for support and asking for what you need! You had been doing good!

Listen to me when I say this: you are a fighter. You are fighting your anxiety and you’re fighting for the you you want. That is commendable. It is one of the hardest battles - against your own thoughts, your fears, and your natural bodily reaction.

But I think, you need to give yourself some grace.

Life is full of hills and valleys. There are downs. It can feel like an abyss or a trench. It comes up. Progress is each day passing. It’s two steps backwards and one step forwards - and gosh darn it, we’re going to acknowledge that step forward!!

It’s okay to be discouraged. It’s okay to be tired. It truly can be exhausting. And you will feel better when you allow yourself to take time on healing - on battling and losing.

Because, you are learning. Because this battle is for the long run. Each week, of therapy whatever, you can learn your triggers, new coping techniques, practice breathing methods, focus on cognitive distortions, journal for a sense of self-building reflection, meditate, go for a walk, color a coloring page, distract yourself, or whatever. You have a life time of pursuing peace of mind.

Anxiety attacks are horrid. I can’t do it justice. I’m sorry you’ve had a hard transition back home. It is not easy.

It isn’t supposed to be.

I wish it was, you know? I’ve done the guilt and shame thing. But, let’s accept where you are now and believe that you have the promise of a future with more peace. You will grow greater and your anxiety will lessen.

I mean, it’s hard. It’s caused by such a mixture of things. Harmful thought patterns, distorted perspectives, stressful environments, childhood trauma, neurotransmitter hormone science stuff I don’t understand are pieces of why. It’s like cracks in the foundation of who we became to be and the anxiety is the house shaking. Idk.

I used to be so bitter. I was jealous of nuerotypical people. They could wake up, go to the store, go to school, and not be terrorized by something inside themselves. I thought, they would never know how blessed they were. But, we all have our own battles.

Our battle feels worse when we don’t believe we’ll win or when we blame ourselves again and again. We feel sick about ourselves. You have to allow yourself room to manage the anxiety, to fail, to have bad days. Because, if you don’t, you’re just putting yourself under more pressure and unrealistic expectations. You’re setting yourself to not grow in the direction that you want.

I’m sorry. I don’t know if that’s too harsh.

Long game remember? Take the time to take care of yourself, to nurse yourself back, to fill yourself with encouraging hero worthy truths. Build your strength up and learn from the bad days until instead of every day, it’s one day a week. Create your own routine, if it helps give your a sense of control - if that’s too overwhelming to do alone, maybe do it with your therapist to learn how? Speak light. Surround yourself with love.

You’re adjusting to being back home; you’re adjusting to new meds. You’ve got a lot going on. I think you can achieve the balance of pushing yourself to do coping techniques and allowing yourself self-care.

No one wants to be crippled with anxiety. Of course you wanna be better!!! I want you to be better.

Take the chores slowly. It’s okay if the house isn’t constantly clean. Try meditating with your eyes open. It helps to visualize your thoughts passing like a cloud... allow it to float by without judgement.

Fight. It’s a fighting. I know you are laboring for what you want. I believe that the way to get there involves being more kind to yourself. It will strengthen you. It will help you maintain a positive internal monologue, with practice.

24 The LORD bless you and keep you; 25 the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; 26 the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26

I wish you the best on this arduous mental health journey. I am proud of you - being a mom and going through all this. You have put forth your best effort, I know. It’s enough. You’ll keep learning and growing dear. I hope you have found support here that you’re searching for.

💕💕💕