My sister saved my life again.

[DML124]

My gf left me last week. In the middle of quarantine. We'd been staying at my place quarantined together with our dog. She left me bc she saw the real me day in and day out. We have been together for 2yrs and she's seen this depression take over me all 2yrs. But now w quarantine i guess she couldn't catch a break since we were together 24/7. She loved me everyday and showed it. She was there for me every night I cried. Held my hand while she sat down on the floor next to me as I cried. She would hold me and wouldn't let me go. She would tell me everything was going to be OK. She said she would never let me go. But, now she's gone. She couldn't take seeing me that way anymore. She told me I loved her too much and I needed to love myself just as much if not more. She said she couldn't see me sad any longer. I've begged her back but she says she just can't anymore. I lost her and it's all my fault. She would sit there as I cried on the suicide hotline. She would cry seeing me cry. Now my support system is gone and I have nothing to live for. My sister somehow felt me and called me. I told her I lost it when it was time to get in to bed and see her spot empty. No one there to hold me and tell me I would be OK. At times when my gf couldn't be with me. I would call my gf and she would stay on the phone with me all night long until morning. The last time I spoke to my ex was at night when I called and asked if she could please stay w me on the phone one last time. She said she couldn't. Tonight my sister is on a video chat and we are sleeping on their together. Im pathetic I know but I don't know how I'm going to do this, guys. I think I'm giving up. If not tonight, it'll be tomorrow. Sooner or later, I just don't want to live anymore.

[lizardperson323]

I'm so so so sorry this happened to you. I know it's easy to place blame on you self or her in these times, but ....the world sucks...she doesn't know how to appropriately respond to it any better than you ...or I for that matter. I've made terrible mistakes in my life time and have had people "prove" to me over and over again that humanity is so terrifying and the world is an aweful place.....but even if it is...all we can do is try. Trying is the only thing we can truely authentically do to get through any of it. The only thing we can do to contribute. And hell, it can make someone else's day. If you can't live another day for you, live it for all of the rest of us suffering, also constantly needing to try to want to live. We all suck and most of us are living in pain, all we can do is try for eachother. Together is the only way to really give a fuck. Sorry for the language. Purely, I love you. I love you because you are another human in pain, needing to be seen. I hope you feel loved...or can you can imagine feeling it for a sec. I get that it can get really hard to sometimes. No judgement. I really really hope I could help. I'm sorry if it didn't. I'm not so great either. - anotherperson in pain

[Wiganladlovesapie]

Hi. I’m Andy🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Firstly. I am so truly sorry to read and feel how much pain you are in.

Know & believe when I say that I’m here for you. We are here for you. And this is said with much love and support.

Like everyone here, loss of a partner, wife, husband, family member or friend is something that we have, or will all experience someday. Learning this is a terrible pain in life. That is life though.

It doesn’t make it any easier knowing this, I know believe me. But it is a fact of life.

She is right in that you absolutely have to learn to love yourself before you can truly love another. Learn to understand you. Figuring things out by seeing seeing a Councillor. Talking. Learning.

Right now though you really need to contact someone about your suicidal thoughts. Remember these are thoughts. Not plans! We have hope! There is hope. Contact your G.P.

If you have a C.P.N contact them. Samaritans helpline is 24/7. Wonderful and supportive. Reach out please.

I don’t know were you are in the world? But reach out to someone, anyone.

You are valuable. You are wonderfully unique. One day you will help & support someone who is in terrible pain, the way you are my friend. You will understand them. You WILL be there for them.

It’s easier to talk to a stranger than family at this time. You may feel like you don’t want to burden them. Worry them. You may feel like it’s too heavy a load for them. So reach out to the people that know.

Your g.f may have been the most amazing girlfriend in the time you had together. But this was not meant to be. And it’s too soon to reminisce. You need to heal. You have to heal, gain strength, and start to move forward.

We are all here for you. Know that.

We are not strangers. We are friends who just haven’t met yet.

So as your friend I’m saying please reach out.

Andy🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

[Hidden]

Promise, you will speak to the Doctor about how you feel

[1day_at_atime]

Hi DML124,

It sounds like the pain that you’re experiencing is very acute and that it’s hard to function.

It’s not your fault. If it is difficult and draining for you to experience it’s only natural that your ex gf would also feel lost and drained too even as someone just witnessing your pain.

This is a complicated situation. There are many factors that have combined to bring you where you are. Some were within your control. But some were not.

You can only accept responsibility for those that were in your control and in doing so maybe have compassion for yourself bcs it takes time to learn skills and coping methods.

It’s not easy to learn them or practice them while you’re in the depth of your pain either.

I’m so glad for you that you have someone like your sister who is there for you, just to remind yourself that you are worthy of love and support!

You’re not pathetic, you’re in pain.

You also have the power to work on relieving some of your pain in healthy ways.

It will be challenging but it can be done. It’s challenging for all of us. But do so for your sister until you can do so bcs you’re doing it for yourself too.

Maybe start today... what can you do today or tonight for yourself that’s healthy?

And build from there. Rmbr to be compassionate with yourself if you make a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s okay. You’re human and you’re learning.

[MamaTried]

This is so heart breaking to read. First off, I’m so sorry about your breakup. People act like , oh, it’s just a break up, move on, it’s not that big of a deal but it physically hurts to breathe, think, anything! So give yourself time and eventually it won’t hurt as much til

It doesn’t hurt at all, trust me I’ve been there 😕Now about your depression, my ex also had it very bad and a few times I was on the phone with him while he attempted to take his life so you just calling the hotline when you needed the help takes courage! Tremendous courage to reach out for help. I’m sure her being gone feels like this big void in your life and you feel alone and being alone is the worst when you’re already depressed but you aren’t alone anymore. You have your wonderful sister and us, all of us here. I promise you, don’t give up, you’ll see brighter days. Almost a year ago I was dumped by a man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with then was fired 3weeks later. 2 weeks after that I found this site and it saved me!! Message me anytime, ok? Day or night

[Hidden]

Don’t be so hard on yourself, you did the best you could and that’s all that matters! Maybe your gf was going through things as well? I know sometimes in relationships when I am struggling mentally I just want to leave and have a way out and maybe she could’ve felt that way? I’m not sure.

Is there a reason she said she left? Have you talked since? Use this as your support system many nice and helpful people here.

Breakups are HARD. But remember before her you were fine and you were okay so don’t think you won’t be able to get to that point again. Let’s learn to love yourself and depend on yourself sometimes too You WILL get through this and you will find someone. Don’t give up please, life is worth living. I know these things happen and they happen to everyone! love is a hard thing but doesn’t mean you should leave everyone else behind? I’ve actually lost a friend to suicide and he hurt so many people and i’m sure if he saw how it affected literally EVERYONE he knew, he would still be here.