General

How do people go about forgiving others who hurt them?

[Srb3147]

I look at is as what I am doing for me. Not what I am doing for them. I don’t want to keep those negative feelings in my life. I want control back, so I CHOOSE to forgive them. It does not mean I will let them repeat what they did. It just means I no longer give their action the power to hurt me or control my emotions.

[Agora1 in reply to Srb3147]

Srb3147, perfectly stated. xx

[Junella]

Not forgiving hurts you more than them usually (we may not know that, of course, if they feel badly about it). If you are in contact, you can say you forgive, but that is usually not possible. I have had to avoid people who hurt me. It is usually because they have worse problems, and I keep that in mind. If you dwell on it, that traps you into a circular thought pattern that is harmful. It's like other negative thoughts. Because we are forgiven, we can forgive.

[Poodie]

Hi Hidden.

I forgave him because I realized he can only be who he is. He is not capable of any other way of being. I had some empathy for him but I would never want to relate to him again on any level. I do not think he can change, or cares enough about people to change. So I try to stay away from all people who are like him. I do it for myself and I feel good about this choice. I do not hate him. I actually wish him well but I take care of myself first.

[marsdream]

Forgiving people is not easy. Maybe try and put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Extend that grace that you would want people to extend to you. Learn to give forgiveness to that other person and have the peace that you desire.