I had a dream that made me reflect on my life and I feel like maybe I haven’t completely lived the way I wish I had in ways and I thought I’ve always tried my best but well I hope I have. It’s hard to see clearly. Just how far can one push oneself before they break? I feel like the littlest things are difficult for me. It’s sooooo frustrating!!! I can’t be specific when I write about what all I’m failing at because it’s embarrassing, painful.
I haven’t been able to make my dreams come true. And the truth hurts me now. And I don’t believe I will ever have the life I want unless I change what I aim for. Maybe certain things just aren’t for me to be blessed with. Maybe I should focus on the blessings I DO have. Lately I’ve been depressed more than normally. I feel I’ve given up in ways. Although I still have dreams, easier ones now, to accomplish, my motivation gets suffocated by depression ptsd and anxiety ocd and bipolar.
I guess all I can do is keep trying to believe I can succeed; to climb up and reach a place I dream of and can feel proud of , I rarely feel proud of anything I do.
I hope to heal and believe in myself. Thanks for listening. Ive been holding so much in lately.
Blessings to all and may you have many moments of joy and peace.