This is what a day looks like

[Sunflowersandlight]

It’s been raining a lot and that doesn’t help my driving anxiety yet, I managed to drive to a friends house to have a meeting for a taco sale fundraiser for her husband’s funeral. I arrived to find out that they needed me to drive them to buy all the things. Panic. Non stop thoughts. I don’t really drive with other people.

I had already saved myself from driving to Dave my husband who had locked himself out of his car. Now this.

I make it to one store and than we have to go to another. Anxiety. I mention I don’t drive freeway and that hits them as a surprise and they start commenting “how is it possible that a person like you doesn’t drive freeway and it’s faster and it’s easier.” Shame. I simply say it’s not fear, it’s anxiety. They say well just do it and you will get over it. Shame. I feel nauseous and idk if it’s bc I haven’t ate or what I’m going through. I just want to magically appear in my home.

[BetaTogetha]

It sounds like you had a lot to deal with, on many different levels. That is understandably rattling and difficult. Good job for making it through it all! You are courageous, and did it! As tough as it is, sometimes pushing beyond the safety of our tightly held boundaries shows us that we can survive. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, and in those moments it feels immense and horrifying. It was hard and uncomfortable but it’s over and you can give yourself some space and time to decompress. Remind yourself that you accomplished something that is difficult, and that’s a positive thought you should focus on.

Best wishes

[Sunflowersandlight in reply to BetaTogetha]

Thank you for the encouraging words. I will try to do that.