Can’t remember what it feels like to be happy 😔

[Bela64]

Here I go again ,feeling anxious depressed and desperate looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, is anyone in here desperate looking for the shining light ? I was taking duloxetine for 8 weeks and the tunnel was even dark than before...doctor decided to switch my medication to Escitalopram 5mg ..I’m on day 4 taking it today and The anxiety and depression is on the high levels 😫but I’m goig to push through it and hopefully it starts to do the job soon 🤞🏻Only time can tell ... I live in hopes in those days .. if is anybody going through those rollercoaster problems at the mo please reply to me .. is good to share you feeling and knowing that you are not on your own it kind of make you feel a little better 🧡god bless you all 🙏🏼

[waterman1]

Hello Bella,

I am new to the site, and I am going to see my first councilor Monday morning. If it is ok to ask, what triggers your anxiety, and does the medication work. I fear being put on medication, and not having it work, and then still having to deal with the side effects.

[Bela64 in reply to waterman1]

Hi waterman and well come to the site... to be honest I’m not sure what triggers my anxiety anymore ,because I’m continuely anxious I been diagnosed with mixt of general anxiety and depression. . But I think I been miss diagnosed?! I think I have a uncontrollable healthy anxiety,becouse im always checking my pulse and my hart beating always thinking that something bad is going to happen...is nightmare... I’m also starting counselling next week hopefully that will help me understand the reason way I’m feeling like this!! As for medication, well I have tried many different ones for the past year,and I had to stop taking Than not because of side effect,unfortunately they didn’t work for me ,,,infact they make the anxiety and depression worse in my case . I’m sure that is a medication out there that will help us all,,so don’t give up hope 😊 good luck with the counselling on monday ,, ,hope it goes well for you 🤞🏻and please let me know how you getting on ok ..best wishes. Bella

[Mumma_h in reply to Bela64]

Hey Bela 64 ,you're not alone in this ,I want you to know that there is 100% light at the end of the tunnel!! I had really terrible depression for a long time ,around six years probably more like 10 ,and I was so bad and it went for so long that I thought I'd have to live like that forever,it was awful,and I believed that I was so depressed and anxious and confused that I'd never be the same again!! I'm sooooooo much better now ,wish I could give you a magic cure , it just happened over time ,and now I remember and know what it feels like to wake up and be excited about my day,and what brings ME some joy. It will happen to you too!!! You must believe that,I didn't do anything special or out of the ordinary, accept for a whole lot if prayer!!! I will pray for you too!. Ive tried several different antidepressants and Ive actually found escitalopram to be the best . Hardly any side affects, nightmares or anxiety, actually feeling pretty good,(Sertraline caused my anxiety to be much worse!!!),I'm on 10 mg and my doctor just said I can go up if I need to. I've been on it around 8 months and I'm very happy with it ,I really hope it's good for you too,I'm sure it will be . Just give it a really good go and time. And there is DEFINITELY light at the end of the tunnel,you won't feel like this forever no matter how horrible it is ❤️🤗

[Bela64 in reply to Mumma_h]

Hi mumma_h , thank you so much for you very comforting words ... I hope this medication work for me too .. I just keeping praying that soon I will find the light at the end of this tunnel that I’m in 🙏🏼 Becouse it is very dark at the moment , and I’m totally afraid of the dark 😢 god bless you ... and I’m praying for you happiness to continue forever 🙏🏼

[Seaside6]

Hi I’m on duloxetine for 13 days. I think it will work when I get through the side effects. We all react differently. It’s a very lonely illness.

[Bela64 in reply to Seaside6]

Hi I was taking duloxetine for 8 weeks I didn’t have any fisical side effect ...except worsen depression and anxiety After week 5 taking it ...hope and pray that it will work for you ... I’m now taking Escitalopram 5 mg ...only been taking it for 4 days .. cannot make any coment on it just yet .. just hoping and praying that it will do what it supposed to do 🙏🏼

[Seaside6 in reply to Bela64]

I hope so love xx

[67anxiousgoat]

Hi Bella,

I too have spells where the depression consumes me. On those day the only thing I can do is stay in bed and pray. I speak the words that God will not put more on me than I can stand and I'm right at that point. He never fails to relieve the extremity of the depression. I'm not saying I'm suddenly happy go lucky but he never fails . God loves you and is constantly with you. God is just so when we pray His word it will happen but we have to ask in prayer. Sometimes I wonder what purpose I am supposed do with this condition but his ways are higher ours. I will tell you that probably 20 years ago I was going to have surgery to fuse 3 vertebra in my neck. Before my appt. to find out the date and all the pre and post surgery information a person at the gym I worked out in whom I didn't even know his name asked if he could pray over me. I said sure and he put his hand on my shoulder and spoke a healing prayer. From that point forward the pain gradually went away. By my appt. date to meet with the surgeon it was completely gone but I went to the appt. anyway and told the surgeon that God had healed me and I didn't need surgery. By his attitude I could tell he was not a believer and the last thing he said as I was about to leave his office was "you'll be back".

Like I said that was 20 plus years ago so I know that miracles are still happening to this day and that God is real. Maybe God granted me that miracle to make the surgeon question his beliefs as I never had to go back.

May God bless you with relief.

[Bela64 in reply to 67anxiousgoat]

You story is so touching I had tears in my eyes , I believe that god is real and he is always beside us..and one day very soon I’m goig to be cured of this unpleasant illness....in Jesus name .🙏🏼Amém...please pray for me . I will be praying for you too... god bless you ..

[67anxiousgoat in reply to Bela64]

I don't know how unbelievers deal with this disease. I asked my psychiatrist if he had ever experienced severe depression or anxiety and he said no. I said that you don't even know how your patients feel. He said no but he knew they were in pain. Pain, I had never made that connection. He explained that the area of the brain that receives physical pain signals is the same area that malfunctions causing depression and anxiety. With that being the case I presented a case that if he was experiencing excruciating physical pain with no relief or cure in sight could suicide enter his mind as a logical way of escaping the pain. He had nothing to say. Personally it has crossed my mind but it not my choice. Only God decides when I leave this body.

Praying for you Bela64

[Bela64 in reply to 67anxiousgoat]

Yes I know !, this is very nasty illness and sometimes I wonder if it ever goes way !? The answer is a big (YES )that is what I try to tell my self every morning when the anxiety and depression is the worse... every day I try to understand way I’m feeling like this , and way is taking so long to go back to the person that I once was ?? Doctors don’t really listen to you .they give you some medication to shut you up .. I don’t think no one knows unless they going through it than self.. and that is the reason way wee are on this forum looking for people goig though the some things and hoping that together we can find the answer for our misery illness.. wish you a Lovely day ,and my prayers goes to you..🙏🏼AMÉM

[rubyslipper]

I have the same feelings every day. Hard to find pleasure in anything. Just discovered my sole mate ....ex husband of 35 years is living with a woman and her seven years old daughter. He met her before he emailed me asking for a divorce five years ago I am absolutely Devastated Have t slept in three days. I wish one of my three grown sons had informed me instead of me discovering it in the internet I met him at age 16 dated and married at 22. I know I’ll die with a broken heart.

[Bela64 in reply to rubyslipper]

Please don’t feel sad , you deserve to be happy... I know it must be very hard for you to let it go of you soulmate, ,,but he choose a different route in his life , and I think is time for you to do the some , think of you self as a very beautiful woman and don’t allow anyone to tell you any different.. please don’t die with a broken heart. You need to fix it .and time will do that . I can assure you... lots of hugs on the way to you.... 🧡🌈Bella

[quitter333]

If you literally can't remember how it feels to be happy, perhaps a state you actually remember is happiness, you just skip over it and not recognize?

In my experience happiness is really mood thing - I have been happy at similar situations when I've felt depressed or sad. So imho a way to deliberately yield happiness from life is to try and enjoy ANYTHING you do. Not to fake it, but actually look into things and see why they are nice.

Like morning sunshine when you drink beer and sit outside in country house. A dog who wants some attention and buggs you with paws and wet nose for pets. A child finding you cool or funny, since you are mom/dad or a grown up teaching them something they don't know. Hitting a target with a bow or gun. scoring a goal. Helping score a goal. Getting you daily plan set and complete it all. Earning extra. Get filmes or taken a photo of and be called good looking. Defeating your foe. Befriending your foe. etc

All these eventually add up and lead to feeling of happiness.

[Bela64 in reply to quitter333]

Thank you so much for you very encouraging words.. I will try hard to get my mind to help me do just that .... I do try to adimire the beautiful things in life..but sometimes the horrible anxiety spoils it for me 😢

[Michalbaner]

Dear Bela,

I am truely sorry for your suffering as an someone who has ssuffered from anxieties in the past, I can absolutely sympathise with your situation. I am going to give you some advice that has helped me get rid of my anxieties.

1. The problem of antidepressants is that they are masking symptoms and people often relapse on them. If you are open to that kind of therapy, you could try working with a herbalist to replace your SSRIs with herbal adaptogens. They will need to work with your doctor ofcourse for possible interactions but herbs are more gentle and do not leave any side effects.

2. Deep Abdominal breathing is a technique that calms your sympathetic nervous system that is being hyperactivated in anxieties. Try 3 times a day for 15 minutes. Thrrough your nose, inhale for 6 and exhale for 12 seconds. Very very slowly. This was for me the most significant thing

3. Slow mindful yoga for 30 minutes every day. Dim all lights and only light a candle. Put some peaceful music on yotuube and do very slow mindful postures. This helps your body to calm itself as it reconnects the mind & the body.

A lot of time we blame these things on serotonin imbalance and genetics but in reality a lot of this is very much emotional and related to baggage we carry with us since childhood. Yoga and meditation can help you with spiritual healing of the wounds that cannot be healed by drugs.

[Bela64 in reply to Michalbaner]

Thank you very much for the very encouraging advice... I will try my best to follow it .. is sounds like it will be very help for.. once again thank you 😊

[Hidden]

I definitely lived in that tunnel for a long time. You just look and there only feels like more tunnel. I've only recently been able to see the light when I addressed my thyroid issues and still taking zoloft. You can get better. You just have to hold on as long as you can and keep researching and trying things. It's going to be the hardest thing you will ever have to do but once you get through it everything just becomes so much easier and feels effortless.

[Bela64 in reply to Hidden]

I hope so .. and thank you for the very encouraging words 🤗it means a lot to me knowing that there’s people out there who understand an cares about the way I feel.. looking. Forward to see that light very soon 🌈

[Hidden in reply to Bela64]

I care about you. I can see myself in your words. I will never be as happy as I can be when I know there are people like you suffering.

[Bela64 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you ,I care about you to, and I care about all the others who is suffering from this lonely illness 😢I wish I had the power to make all this suffering turning into health and happiness for those who is desperate in need 💫🧡

[Womannchains]

I'm right there with you!! I struggle with the whole concept of "happiness", because I truly don't know what happiness IS, other than fleeting moments that I desperately try to hold on to for dear life. Just don't give up! Keep fighting, there IS light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes it just takes some of us longer to get through the dark to the light.

[MyLilKalEl]

I do hope you find the right medication to help the depression lift. It wasnt to long ago that I told my husband I can't remember the last time I felt or experienced happiness. Then I realized it wasn't just happiness it was all emotions. Though your doing the right thing and reaching out to others. I personally struggle with that. I hope you can find moments of reprieve or a positive distraction to encourage your soul. Just know your not alone.

[Hidden]

I have these days also. It seems I can be around people and they can be laughing and i just pretend to laugh. I was on some antidepressant but it made me worse. I tried several different ones w/o any progress. So my doc and I figured I am better off w/o them because I get at a real low with them. My doc said that I am an unusual case. I just need to be in a place of my own that I can be happy at. I've met a couple of really nice people on here who made me happy. One still talks to me and the other has stopped. I miss her because I can relate with her. The other ine, God bless her heart, has kept me upbeat. So I at least have one on here that helps me thru my day. So I wish you luck on findingbsomething or someone who can help you thru these times.