So, my best freind, Chris, has been really struggling lately. She 'jokes' about things like wanting to die or how much she hates herself, or she says them when she thinks nobody's listening, she has really bad panic attacks that cause her to pass out, and she has slowly started self harming again. My other three friends, Jackie, Emma, Haley, and I are insanely worried about her. She refuses to talk to anyone and today, we could have lost her.
Haley wasn't here today but the other four of us were. We were sitting at our usual lunch table just having a normal conversationwhen Chris suddenly started talking about how she felt bad about something she did the other day which we had already said she had no reason to apologize for and she just seemed really down. She then gets up and said she needed to use the bathroom and we told her she had four minutes.(We made a four minute bathroom rule in our group because everyone's panic attacks.) She said okay, laughed, and left. After roughly four minutes, we realized Chris wasn't back yet and I had this gut feeling that I needed to go. We threw away our food and practically ran to the bathroom because, I don't know how, but we all knew something was wrong.
When we got into the bathroom, it was completely silent. We kept calling her name and she wouldn't answer. Jackie looked through the crack in the stall she normally goes into and immediately stepped back with the most terrified look on her face. She told me and Emma that Chris was passed out on the ground with a fist full of pills, a blade on the ground, and fresh cuts on her arm. I thought she was joking but Emma looked and said the same thing. They both stood there frozen. I looked through the crack and saw what they described and sprang into action. I forced Jackie to crawl under the door and unlock it for us. We all went in but the other two were still in shock but I yelled at them to close the stall door. I started grabbing the pills out of Chris' unconscious hand and she sprang awake. I grabbed the blade off the ground and put them all in a baggie Emma was holding. That's when the situation really hit me. I say next to Chris who had her head between her knees, put my arms around her, and started crying. I just started thinking of the amazing person I could've lost has we not been there.
Some students had seen part of what happened and told the teachers. All the teachers know is that Chris passed out from anxiety. We were all pretty shaken up and hung out in the office for a while before going to our next class. Chris explained that she only thought about doing it for a minute. She only has the pills in the first place because they were her anxiety medication and the thought crossed her mind when she was taking her meds this morning. She was going to put them back after she cleaned her cuts but then her anxiety took over and she passed out. I don't believe her. She promised that she'll talk to someone but I'm still terrified for her safety. I want to help her but I don't know how to. I love her so much and I don't know what I would do if I didn't see her smiling face walking down the halls at school. It kills me to think of life without her and I hope she understands that.
I'm sorry if this post was triggering I just don't have anyone to talk to about this...