Trauma is Different for Everyone

[mvillarreal]

As I've been working with my therapist lately, we've both come to see pretty clearly that I am dealing with some post-traumatic stress. I have never witnessed a murder; I have never been sexually assaulted; I have not fought in war; and I have never been seriously physically assaulted or abused. Even so, I have post-traumatic stress. Of course, my intent is not to undermine the seriousness of the HORRIBLE atrocities mentioned above, but the point is that you don't have to go through what others would "normally" consider traumatizing to have trauma. From 2010-2012, I had a period in which I felt that God would never forgive me and that I was going to hell. I struggled with grace, redemption, and the hope that I could ever be good enough for God until I eventually revised some of my embedded theology around that. While this experience might not be seen as "traumatic" by others, it was for me, and the fact that it might seem "minor" to seem does not make it any less valid. To this day, I still have reminders that bring me back to that time and emotions that come up when I recount what I went through, and even certain songs will trigger stress that remind me of that time period. It has not ruined my life, but I have to struggle a lot everyday to cope. Some of the people who have gone through the tragedies mentioned above do not end up having post-traumatic stress. This, too, does not make them any better or worse than those that do. It just means that we all process events differently, and that's okay. Recently, I read an article about a woman who developed severe PTSD after a really bad case of locked jaw. She described reactions that were familiar to me: "Really? That's what traumatized you?" "Trust me; I've been through way worse!" The fact is, however, her reaction to the event was just as valid as other trauma survivors, as is mine, and anyone who says otherwise has not yet learned that being traumatized does not make you weak; it just means that your brain processed a difficult event in a different way than someone else might have, and no one has the right to judge that.

[Hidden]

So important!! I too have PTSD and struggled to process trauma because I undermined my own trauma history for the same reasons you mentioned. I’ve realized trauma is on a spectrum from “mild” to “severe.” That label comes from us. No one has the right to judge our trauma. It isn’t helpful to compare trauma histories to decide who has it “worse.” Trauma is personal and important no matter what because it is the emotional response we feel as a result of our experiences. Thank you for your post!💛

[MrZee]

Dear mvillarreal,

Your past trauma that has led to your own PTSD is real. No one has the right to judge you for what you experienced and how the memories affect you today.

Sheesh, when someone says, “You think you have it bad? Well I have it worse,” is completely insensitive and dismissive on their part. That to me is a rash form of judgement.

I too have PTSD from the abusive household I grew up in and for being bullied through my public school years. It’s very real stuff. I’ll never let anyone judge me for what I have endured or currently endure.

And you are 100% right... we all process events differently.

I find it sad that a large part of society out there still sweeps mental health under the rug. Yet people like you and me have our mental struggles. Well guess what, that’s human. And there’s nothing wrong with who or what we are.

You deserve a pat on the back for the courage to be working on this in therapy as well as reaching out with your story on this site.

All my best,

-MZ ❤️

[Hidden in reply to MrZee]

Absolutely! 💛