Why does this happen to me?

[Meyer_Gdmnx]

Hi guys a couple of months ago I posted about having vision problems and a number of very helpful members informed me it was an ocular migraine. I have since been to the opticians and he confirmed it was that and my eyes were healthy. But all I can think about it is how frequently I have them over the past 2 months I’ve had them 4/5 times. And I’m just terrified that they’re going to cause me to go blind or I’ll have them forever I’m just so so scared about having one I stress about it day and night I try my best to put it out of my mind but nothing works I’m so scared what do I do?

[Jeff1943]

Just to recap, visual aura otherwise known as scintillating scotomata is the visual symptom that people with migraine get before the headache - but in our case we don't get the headache just the visual fireworks.

It starts when you notice a hole in your vision, words are missing from a page you're looking at or somebody you passed in the street had half their face missing.

So you close your eyes and you see the beginning of of a scintillating zig zag pattern that starts to grow. It never affects more than 80% of your field of vision and it lasts precisely 25 minutes and then disappears.

I first had one in 1976 and knew instinctively it was an anxiety symptom. Had my eyes properly examined but the source isn't in your eyes, it's to do with the visual cortex of the brain.

I used to get one every couple of years but as I've got older they come about 4 times a year, always after some slightly stressful event.

I've researched them over the years, Meyer-Gdmnx, and nobody has ever gone blind because of them. And as I've been having them since 1976 I would be blind as a bat by now if they did cause blindness. But I'm not.

So you can put that idea about going blind right out of your mind, Meyer. The way to look at it is that you have the same symptom millions if people with migraine have but YOU'RE LUCKY because you don't have to put up with the splitting headache.

When I get one coming and there's a hole in my vision I'm always slightly relieved when I close my eyes and see the familiar zig zag pattern as it indicates that it's not a retinal detachment and that in 25 minutes my vision is back to normal.

I used to go and lay down in a darkened room if I could but I can't be bothered now, I just continue with what I'm doing. On the one occasion I had one when driving I just kept on driving (naughty, naughty) as I still had 85% or my vision remaining.

I had an episode 2 weeks ago whilst writing a post on this forum, I just continued with the post. Last autumn/fall I had one just as my wife and I were going to drive home 60 miles from a supermarket. I just sat there for 25 minutes until it passed before driving off.

Only once have I had two on the same day, that was more than 10 years ago.

I can well understand your fear, Meyer, as all this is new to you. But for me, to use Rhett Butler's words in 'Gone with the wind', Frankly I don't give a damn!

Last week I has 2 stressful days when I experienced missed heart beats, again something I've experienced occasionally for years. I just accepted them and they went away.

My advice, Meyer, would be to frame your mind to accept these visual aura when they come - rather than feed your sensitised nervous system with fear. They are annoying but harmless, hardly disabling, you've had your eyes examined by a professional using a slit lamp opthalmoscope.

It's a case of the more you stress and worry and fear these episodes the more often they will come. Agree to accept them rather than fighting them and they will eventually settle down to an occasional nuisance or maybe cease to bother you at all.

Remember, right now millions if people all over the world are experiencing these visual disturbances knowing that they herald a splitting migraine. You and I are among the lucky minority - we don't get the headache.

So the choice is yours: stress, obsess and live in fear of them or accept them for the time being without pumping more fear hormones into your nervous system.

[Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to Jeff1943]

Wow thank you for your response it really helped me out things into perspective! It was wonderful. Unfortunately I do get a headache after them but not debilitatingly bad just not nice ones that go away after a bit. Mine I kind of notice I can’t quite see properly then I get this pixel shimmering kind affect where I can’t see as you said people’s face. Sometimes it’s flashing lites sometimes it’s that! But I agree I’m sure once I reduce my stress it’ll never trouble me again and if it does I know what it is thank you so much

[Jeff1943 in reply to Meyer_Gdmnx]

What you describe with the pixel shimmering effect is migraine/visual aura exactly. I can see from your previous posts that you do have health anxiety to a troubling degree.

Forgive me if I've told you this before but I think you would greatly benefit from reading a short book that has helped 'millions' to recover from anxiety disorder since it was published a while back. It will bring you understanding, reassurance and a road plan for recovery based in the concept of Acceptance rather than Fear.

Its UK title is 'Self help for your nerves' and in the U.S. the same book is titled 'Hope and help for your nerves'. The author is Doctor Claire Weekes who was nominated for a Nobel Prize for her self help method. The book is obtainable new or used for just a few dollars/pounds from Amazon and Ebay.

It's life changing and many of the Amazon reader's reviews use the phrase 'saved my life.'

I wish you all the very best in the quest to recover your quiet mind.