LIVING WITH ADD/ADHD AND WHY IT’S A GIFT

[MrZee]

On this site I read that many of us have ADD/ADHD. My heart goes out to those that have it, including Yours Truly. So as a contribution I would like to add some solace around all this.

First ADD and ADHD are quite similar: Attention Deficit Disorder. The H in ADHD stands for Hyperactive... those of us who find it difficult sitting still.

I’ve had ADHD all my life. Way back when in the 60s/70s during my public school years it got me into a lot if trouble... I didn’t pay attention, I always felt overwhelmed with homework and couldn’t finish it, and I was sent to the principle’s office more times than I can count. In the working world it has caused me trouble and embarrassment for not being focused on the job which led to several warnings and terminations.

I have carried so much shame with this for so many years.

Then several years ago after losing my umpteenth job due to ADHD, I came close to having a breakdown. The accumulated shame was sucking me into a hopeless black hole. Finally I had gotten word about a person that’s an ADHD coach and I sought her out. It was a bit on the expensive site, yet she was worth every penny. It has tremendously helped me especially with lifting all my shame.

ADD/ADHD is not curable. It’s treatable. It’s actually called “Non Linear Thinking” which means the brain is wired differently. In other words, Linear Thinkers are those who think in a straight line, have a good attention span, and usually can get projects done in a shorter amount of time. We Non Linear Thinkers... have short attention spans; our minds seem ‘all over the place’; easily feel overwhelmed; and carry much shame around it.

Treating and living with it really is not that difficult. Those of us Non Linear Thinkers need to have what’s called Primary and Secondary focus. Primary Focus is a task at hand where we have to use our conscious mind... attending a lecture, doing homework, working on a big project, and so on. Most importantly is Secondary focus where we productively seek out the subconscious mind to work. We NEED this to go hand in hand with Primary focus.

As an example, if I’m attending a lecture, my attention span is very short. I can zone out so easily and not hear a word they are saying. To compensate I put Secondary focus into motion... the mind also needs to have an activity in motion (aka fidgeting). I carry a small handheld rubber fidget Koosh ball with me. Today ‘Figit Cubes’ are quite available as well. So when I attend a lecture my Secondary focus is in motion squeezing the fidget ball while it helps my Primary focus stay on track.

Adopt a “Ghost Voice.” When people are speaking to me my mind can so easily drift away and I won’t have heard a word they have said which causes them frustration. To compensate, as my mind begins to drift away, my inner Ghost Voice will come to life in my head and say, ‘Now Michael come back into the room and listen.’ And it works! My Ghost Voice has become one of my best friends to help keep me focused.

Use the 20-10-20-10-20 method. Simply put many of us Non Linear thinkers easily feel overwhelmed when it comes to having to complete a project. And that usually leads to procrastination and in the end run, shame. Instead, I use the 20-10-20... Let’s say I have to write a paper for school. If I start on it well before its due date, does it all have to be written in one sitting? No. Instead, work on it for 20 minutes. Then take a 10 minute break and do something completely different to refocus the mind such as an enjoyable simple hobby; knitting; doing the dishes; taking a short walk, etc. At the end of the break return to working on the main project for 20 minutes and so on as you alternate. Like I do, you may need to use a timer. Amazingly with the alternation, the project will eventually get done! One heed of warning, for the 10 minute break, stay away from electronics (such as playing on the smartphone/computer as it can stretch to hours on end).

Finally know that ADD/ADHD - Non Linear thinking is a gift! Why, because we’re the ones who think outside of the box. Those are some of the greatest thinkers of all. Mostly all of the world’s greatest achievers in history were/are ADD/ADHD-Non Linear thinkers: Benjamin Franklin, Emily Dickinson, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, and a countless many more.

So when you’re at that frame of mind thinking that ADHD/ADD is shameful, it’s not. We’re the out-of-the-box Non Linear Thinkers — The Gifted Ones. ❤️

[Hidden]

That's good advice. I have had ADHD for my whole life and it really bothers me. Especially since I'm an introvert. I take meds for my ADHD and it helps a lot.

[fauxartist]

One of our little ones we mind every week has Dysgraphia....and I like to term it in this way... we may draw a straight line between A and B......but kids with Dyspraxia, Dysgraphia, and ADHD may make a squiggle ball of circles and squiggles before getting from A to B. I also find that there is a creative genius in that in a way too though, because the mind goes off into a lot of different possibilities to reach a destination...making it much more interesting and allowing for imagination. But some kids just get board half way, or too frustrated to continue....that's where a lot of work goes into doing homework with our girl. Knowing how much of the imagination to let flourish and when to 'focus' and stay on point.

This is a def. of Dysgraphia:

Dysgraphia is a learning disability that affects writing ability and fine motor skills. It interferes with spelling, word spacing, and the general ability to put thoughts on paper, and makes the process of writing laboriously slow. Dysgraphia is a neurological disorder that can affect both children and adults.

An estimated 20-60% of children with ADHD also have one or more learning disabilities like dysgraphia. When the act of forming letters requires so much effort that a child forgets what he wanted to say in the first place, it’s not surprising that children with dysgraphia often hate to write, and resist doing so.

[MrZee in reply to fauxartist]

fauxartist,

I am so grateful you shared this. Though I’m not a healthcare professional, it would seem I experience what you describe to a degree. When it comes to writing by hand, I’m quite slow, a bit dyslexic and feel panicky when I have to take notes by hand, for instance during a class lecture. On the other hand, I’m a very fast typist and can easily keep up with a speaker if I type.

Interestingly I work as the Admin for a nearby community college’s art department. I’ve gotten to know all the instructors well. They all want me to take their class(es)... drawing, painting, sculpture, etc. That terrifies me because I struggle greatly trying to draw or create anything. So instead of putting myself down for that, I’ve become appreciative of Art. That is instead of creating it, I enjoy other people’s works and that makes me happy.

Just saying...

[fauxartist in reply to MrZee]

I taught ceramic art and was an art major.....and one of the most common comments to me from a beginner was this....I can't be any good at art because I can't draw a straight line.....I always said...good...straight lines are boring.....what ever you want to do is your art, if it's your self expression.....

I mean look at Jackson Pollock.......he did alright not doing straight lines......

[MrZee in reply to fauxartist]

I completely understand what you’re saying and it makes complete sense.

On my end, my working with Art triggers depression ... long story. But the Reader’s Digest condensed version is I have to be careful of what triggers my depression and steer clear.

Yet as mentioned, appreciating Art beings me so much joy. During my break-time I stop by the art classes, sit in and love to watch. I also get to know some of the students and sit with them while they work on their Art as I compliment their creations. It warms their hearts and brings me joy at the same time. So as for Art I’ve found my home appreciating others’.

Though thank you for your feedback. It does imply caring on your part. ❤️

[Hidden]

Thankyou for sharing this important info. I found out in my 50’s I had ADD and it was actually a relief. I always knew I was different, thought outside of the box, changed jobs alot. I was successful I think because I was an over acheiving people pleaser, lol( my diagnosis). Today, nearing 67, I find my large old house overwhelming. I dont want to deal with trying to tidy it up. I will try and put your theory in to action 20-10-20-10, that sounds doable.

[sweetiepye]

I have thought for some time that I'm not a liner thinker. In conversations I leap ahead to a conclusion, but people become agitated and want to fill in unnecessary detail . When listening to a speaker, I get bored if the point isn't reached quickly. I realize I might have a learning disorder, but I don't think so. The fact is I like the way I think. It entertains me and I am drawn to others who also venture into. or out of the box. Your method of writing is something I have always done. I have no idea where it came from. I hope someday people will be encouraged to explore and use different types and ways of thinking. We are taught to limit ourselves. Pam

[MrZee in reply to sweetiepye]

Hi Pam,

Thank you for the great reply. You are preaching to my choir. I’m the same way in conversations especially when the other person has a lot to say, my mind is saying, ‘Okay get to the point already.’ So we’re similar.

We do not have learning disorders whatsoever. We’re just non-linear. Nothing wrong with that at all. Or let’s put it this way, if someone offered me a pill to make my ADHD go away, instantly I’d say, “Nope. Because it’s a gift.”

Remember, some of history’s greatest thinkers were/are non-linear. If anything we are quite lucky indeed. ❤️

-MZ

[sweetiepye]

Thank you for a wonderful reply. By the way , Art needs a viewer to fulfill it's purpose. Pam

[MrZee in reply to sweetiepye]

OKAY?!

[sweetiepye in reply to MrZee]

The artist needs to create / communicate. The artwork is the vehicle that carries his idea. A viewer is necessary to complete the process.

[MrZee in reply to sweetiepye]

Exactly. Which is why I’m like a kid in a candy store at art exhibits and museums 😊