Is it normal?: I am in so much pain and... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Is it normal?

Boomba76 profile image
8 Replies

I am in so much pain and sadness over my wife walking out of our marriage!!

Is it normal that I don’t want to be around anybody right now? Including friends, family and even my own kids because seeing them makes me even more sad and hurt??

I keep going through bursts of extreme sadness and depression then I’m ok for a couple minutes then back to sadness. It is physically giving me a headache now.

I am staying at a friends house in a spare bedroom and I have never felt SO ALONE!!

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Boomba76 profile image
Boomba76
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8 Replies
MrZee profile image
MrZee

Boomba76,

You’re in the first stage of the Grieving Process of Loss. This will take time and will feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel... but there is.

Allow yourself all the time you need to grieve. It’s necessary and completely normal to do so.

All my best,

MZ

Boomba76 profile image
Boomba76 in reply toMrZee

Thank you for your support.

YES! Very normal. It is called grieving. Let those intense feelings take its course. It’s okay to not be around anyone and you want to be alone. This is going to be very blunt: your life has made a dramatic change. Part of you was your family and that is not what it is right now. I felt the same way. I do know after time (it can either be long or short) it will get better. You will start think and realize I need to get myself together for the betterment of the children. Yes it hurts, yes it feels heavy on your heart but the pain is going to subside little by little as the months go on. The number one thing is that you can not be too hard on yourself. Guilt is not your friend. You will come out of this depression

Boomba76 profile image
Boomba76 in reply toUnderstandingMyPain

Thank you! It is so very hard....

The ups and downs are so intense and come in waves sometimes minutes apart. 🥺

NeuronerdDoaty profile image
NeuronerdDoaty

You’re so ‘normal’. You’re mourning. You’ve lost someone, a relationship, a piece of yourself, and a piece of something for your children.

That time in my life was when I truly learned what the word devastated meant. I’ve never used it again in over 30 years. Nothing compared and I’ve had some events that have crushed the common human; literally killed them.

It’s my feeling you need to get grief counseling immediately. It’s the start to health for your children’s sake.

My heart is with you.

Doaty💛

Boomba76 profile image
Boomba76 in reply toNeuronerdDoaty

That is exactly how I feel, devastated and even BROKEN. It feels like my heart and soul have been ripped out of my chest and I am a completely broken person!

NeuronerdDoaty profile image
NeuronerdDoaty in reply toBoomba76

Yep. I remember the feeling when my ex did his thing. Thankfully we get through it. I didn’t do it alone though. 30 years ago there wasn’t the groups and acceptance there is now. I used therapy and Prozac. But now there are fantastic groups even online.

I went to a grief group through a church after a second traumatic event in my life that physically changed my body involving surgery. Grief counseling is why I’m still here. No Prozac this time. No broken feeling.

Keep reaching out. Keep talking. Your kids deserve you. You’re teaching survival skills whether you care right now or not. I didn’t care back then but I’m glad I did it now. My kids deserved it.

We’ve got your back.

enigmaticide profile image
enigmaticide

So the sad reality, and the U.S. legal system seems to back this, is that the woman has the right to change her mind, on a whim, and regardless of the supposed sanctity of the "marriage vow". Look, the word VOW is there for a god-damned REASON! No relationship is 100% easy and the "vow" is supposed to be a COMMITMENT! The current state of relations between men and women is deplorable AT BEST! DISCLAIMER: I am drunk right now so ALL FILTERS ARE OFF, and I'm calling ti as I see it. Men, congratulations, you are now the must-have doormat of ALL ladies of discerning taste. Enjoy your use whil;e you can, because a younger, sexier doormat is literally a sale away and WOMEN LOVE SHOPPING more than they shall EVER LOVE YOU! Oh, and happy new year. ;)

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