How do I hold on till 2020?

[TeawithIroh]

Hi there, lately I have been nosediving in a mental emergency. However much I feel like a burden to others, subhuman, and even weak - I am extremely worried to admit to my high and aggressive suicidal ideation to my therapist next week. My father said I should wait to get other things insurance wise done after the new year (like dental n all, nothing mental - I haven't spoken about that to him) and that makes me assume I should wait till 2020 too for any large confessions.

I do feel like a danger to myself especially, and I am aware of how easy it is to get into a mindset to be able to enact any of these thoughts. However I do want to wait till January to really speak up about it - so any tips to sort of 'lock down' would be appreciated.

I should also mention that I am almost certain on hospitalization or at least voluntary admission. I have been partially lying to everyone, and I am getting very aware of how dangerous of a situation I am in.

[Hidden]

If you are feeling so low you are worrying about your own safety you need to approach your GP and explain your concerns. How old are you ??

I gather you are in the USA, do you have, Voluntary Section where you can be admitted to Mental Health Hospital. Have you run out of health Insurance for 2019, and the policy will renew on turn of the year ??

BOB

[Hidden]

Hi, I can understand you are very upset. You want an advice, so here it is. I think you don't have to wait till the next year. You must talk to your therapist and tell her or him about your suicidal thoughts. It is necessary for you because these thoughts can be dangerous. I'm not trying to scare you. In my opinion, you have to get yourself hospitalized right now because your life is very precious and don't worry, everything will be alright 😊. These are my friendly advice to you. Take care !

[TeawithIroh in reply to Hidden]

I don't know about that, I feel I can suck it up for just a bit longer, don't want to be so much of a burden and get in peoples' way.

[Hidden in reply to TeawithIroh]

Hi, you are not a burden. Please remember that your life is very precious. You'll have so many opportunities in the future. Just try to relax your mind and talk to your therapist about these suicidal thoughts and if they recommend hospitalization for you than for your own life just for your own sake get yourself hospitalized. Don't be scared and worried. You are a courageous person, I believe 😊

[Antwaun]

When I was 16 I started hurting myself. The emotional pain was just too much to bare at that point and I was about “done with it all”, but I’m glad that I didn’t actually go through with it, and I think in a little while, you’ll be glad you didn’t either. So, hang in there and definitely talk to someone. You seem to have a supportive father. I have no idea what that would feel like so in that regard, you are blessed. I’ll send a prayer up for you later. Please be strong.