Not your fault

[Starrlight]

I was listening to Tara Brach talking about how hating ourselves is an addiction we can break

Unwanted behavior of anger of fear feelings of powerlessness didn’t start with you and are connected to trauma that we can let go of

Self hate should be self compassion

We are responsible when we stop blaming ourselves and become able to respond to the wound.

[Florida1959]

Absolutely xxxx

[Starrlight in reply to Florida1959]

Hey there Florida!!! How r u?

[Florida1959 in reply to Starrlight]

Just moved to my own place yesterday, head mashed, but on the whole pretty good , how’s you xx, I just don’t like Christmas !,,

[Starrlight in reply to Florida1959]

So you moved by yourself? Who all were you living with before?

I like Christmas. What I don’t like is sending my kiddos back to school afterwards and trying to think of ways to make the new year a better one because I always suck at it.

[Florida1959 in reply to Starrlight]

Yes I was living with my brother, but couldn’t get apartment fir 6 months as had no credit history, it’s a small place, but it’s mine!,, xxx

[Starrlight in reply to Florida1959]

Congratulations 🎊🎈🎉🍾

[Kkimm]

Love the beautiful photo. Great message also

[Starrlight in reply to Kkimm]

Thanks Kkimm the photo I took at the beach last summer

[quitter333]

I don't really understand the concept of hating yourself.

You hate your body? (exercises, stylist, plastic operations), Or your behavior? (literally just discipline), Or what?

There's very few things completely out of your direct control (like genetic predisposition to age quicker or being a siamese twin), and things out of your control should not bother you, as .. they are out of your control.

[Starrlight in reply to quitter333]

Good point I think we can work on it by the way we talk to ourselves and I believe sometimes it’s due to none of these things, but a sense of not good enough, maybe from the way one has been treated and needs to heal from since the abuse was internalized That’s just my take on it.

[quitter333 in reply to Starrlight]

Self-hate literally does not accomplish anything as it has no real object.

Like, you can't hate your thoughts, as the thoughts are literally you. You can have a feeling of general hate or some looped around misconception about it, but you cannot hate yourself in a meaningful way. It is absolutely counterproductive.

I actually just decided that self-hate is absolutely misinterpreted other feeling or concept.

[Starrlight in reply to quitter333]

I agree it doesn’t accomplish anything but cause anguish. Hmmmm it could be misinterpreted as another feeling or concept, maybe so.

[quitter333 in reply to Starrlight]

not as. it IS another feeling people misinterpret. self hate has no mental or biological basis to exist.

[In2thenow in reply to quitter333]

Everyone has an endless stream of thoughts going on while awake. These thoughts are not you. Learn to observe them and only regard the ones that have to do with the present and you will see relief as the self hatred resides in the past and to some degree in fear of the future. This is real and you get better with it with practice.

[quitter333 in reply to In2thenow]

those thoughts are very much us.

there's simply a filter that we use to concentrate on thoughts we think are important.

.

[Dolphin14]

Beautiful photo

[Want2BHappy3]

Thanks for that Star, was that on you tube? Or Podcast? 🌲

[Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3]

I think both 😊 or you can go to her website Tarabeach.com

[newbie1956 in reply to Starrlight]

You seem so much happier today, Starr

I hope so!

TGIF

[Starrlight in reply to newbie1956]

In the mornings I tend to seem better I think. You are so sweet. Thanks for caring Newbie. You are beautiful.