The day after

[nicetry]

Hey everyone. Yesterday after my ECT treatment the doc decided to wait until next Monday for the next one — said that allowing more time between treatments might have a bigger effect. I dunno — all I did this morning was sob uncontrollably. I’m not at all sure ECT is the right route for treating my depression— doc said it can’t make me WORSE, but I feel pretty damn bad. I can push it off kinda with meditation, deep breathing, smoking pot (it’s legal where I live), but it’s just pushing it off — it’s still there, pulling me down. Somebody tell me it’ll get better. Somebody tell me I’m not alone.

[NeuronerdDoaty]

You aren’t alone. I can’t tell you it will make you feel better. I will never stop talking to you as long as you want to talk to me.

I wanted to be your cheerleader since you had already made the choice.

Now it seems fair to tell you in my living will I specifically state ‘no ECT’.

I can’t see how marijuana would help in the overall care as it’s a depressant.

As I stated before it’s making you have small seizures. I have those seizures controlled by medication. If I didn’t control them my brain tissue would scar and I would be more depressed than I am.

What I’d really like to do is come grab you and hug you and tell you I don’t know if you’ll get better but it can make you worse and I’ve seen it happen.

I’m on your side whatever you try but my motto has always been to protect my brain. It’s all I have. From 1994-2005 I did EEGs. I did a thesis on ECT. If in your heart you’re not feeling this is right then stop. You can always go back if at some time you feel it’s right.

[nicetry in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

OMG thank you for this, thank you for being my cheerleader. I actually use marijuana for pain control (separately from the depression) & it sometimes calms me down a bit. Well now I’ll have all weekend to consider whether I want to continue on this ECT path.

[NeuronerdDoaty in reply to nicetry]

I’m here for you.

[LiveandLetLive42]

I think I remember telling you about my TMS and how it only really worked if I put in the work too. These kinds of treatments aren't miracle workers you know? I guess listen to your doctor and see what happens. I'd be weary and a little scared about having that much time in between too. We're all here for you though!!!

[nicetry in reply to LiveandLetLive42]

Thank you. TMS wasn’t effective for me, which is why we went with ECT. I don’t know what to think anymore.

[LiveandLetLive42 in reply to nicetry]

I know right? I totally did not like TMS. I think these things can work but we have to make changes too. I’m just taking meds now. Let me know how the ECT goes as you do it more! X

[Coloradowalker]

I’m sorry you have not yet had relief but from reading your posts, you seem resilient and motivated and so ready for change. I know how hard it is to be patient but you will get there and I can’t wait to hear about it when you do. ❤️

[nicetry in reply to Coloradowalker]

Thanks for the vote of support! Every bit helps. I’m SO ready for something positive, I just lately wonder if it will ever come. I get tired of waiting you know?