Christmas : I have decided not to do... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support
45,535 members46,881 posts



I have decided not to do Christmas this year. One because I really don’t have the money to do so, bills are more important. Two: because my oldest basically called me out on Instagram about how Christmas was so hard for her growing up. Yes, I have never been a Christmas person because of my pass, but I did my best to give my girls a good Christmas, when they were younger.I did apologize to her for putting her through hell during the holidays, but I did my best. I will give my girls some gifts what I can afford. I will however not attend Christmas with them since I have put them through heartache. So this will be my last Christmas to do anything and I will never do Christmas again and I will write them letters explaining to them why. Thank you for reading if you do, I had to get this off of my chest.

17 Replies

You know....for me personally.....I never really had any Christmas gifts growing up, or family, or a safe place to be, or some big dinner on the table full of food and sweets....that's as foreign to me as watching it on TV in Christmas movies or through the windows of friends houses on the street. I don't think Christmas is about buying presents and spending so much money that you’re in debt for the year. When the three wise men gave gifts to the newborn, that baby was born in a stable, on hay, and could care less about money and gifts, that baby was born out of love. We have forgotten long ago that Christmas is about love and kindness....not the amount of money you spend.

You apologized to your kids for not doing more for them, now it's up to them to forgive you or not, but you need to forgive yourself.....sometimes we are just dealt a crappy hand in life and we don't handle holidays, or celebrations well....all my holidays growing up were horribly sad and agonizing. Now I can choose how I want to spend holidays....and still.... I don't believe we show love by buying gifts. Love was all I wanted more than anything growing today....that's what I can give, and that's priceless.

Jovra in reply to fauxartist

See that’s how I feel, I always showed them love. And when I could afford it I would buy them things when it wasn’t even Christmas or birthday. I thought the love I gave them would have been enough , but apparently for Christmas it wasn’t and for that I’m a bad person. So if they can’t forgive me and move on then I will not join them, in order for them to have a wonderful Christmas without me.

fauxartist in reply to Jovra

I would tell them exactly what you said....and maybe by getting a little reality dose they will have a bit more gratitude for what they did have.

I couldn’t agree more to this! Love priceless!


I had dollar tree presents most of my days in group homes or shelters. I guess the best day isn’t really Christmas it’s the day after. I have an Austin powers marathon. Much love hope you find positive memories and good self soothing choices.

What a shame your daughter felt the need to post on social media. What's the problem out there today???

I agree with faux, you did your best. You told your kids that. Time for them to be adults and deal with reality.

Do something for yourself during the holiday season. Or, chose to do some volunteer work and give something back.

My daughter takes my granddaughter to volunteer somewhere during the holidays. She's done something with her the last couple years. She's 9. But she will grow up knowing there are hardships out there. That people struggle and need help.

You did the best you could. Your daughter needs to grow up and let it go.

Jovra in reply to Dolphin14

I wish she would. Thank you!

I don’t think I can really add anything that the others haven’t said. I hope your daughters one day realize the love that you showed them and you can be together during the holidays.

Jovra in reply to Michael8072

I hope so also, she still hasn’t said anything and I’m just not willing to bring it up. I know we all have are stuff, I would of liked if she talked to me instead of posting on a public forearm calling her only parent out. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Michael8072 in reply to Jovra

Yeah I can understand that. I wouldn’t want to read something about me on a public forum, I’d rather hear it from them.

Sending you a hug.

Jovra in reply to Michael8072

Thank you!!

I guess the only thing I would be concerned about is perhaps a misinterpretation of your daughter's post. Social media is famous for ending relationships based on misunderstandings.

Your feelings have been hurt and that's a sad thing but just be careful of what this may mean to your relationship going forward.



Jovra in reply to Cmarie12

I wouldn’t end my relationship with my girls, I would just allow them to celebrate Christmas without me.

Cmarie12 in reply to Jovra

I wish you all the best.

There is so much good support here, I pray that you are able to find a way to find peace through all of this. It is sad that your girls are not on the same page with you, and hopefully some day they can recognize the struggles you faced when they were younger. Maybe your letter will help they have a glimpse into what life was like for you. Again, hope you can find peace during this season that can be difficult for so many...


i hear ya. i'm not feeling very "christmassy" this year either. it's annoying that i keep getting invites to christmas events and people expect me to reply or have an excuse and meanwhile i'm just trying to ignore this holiday and wishing it would pass right by.

Jovra in reply to Hidden

So agree with you!

You may also like...