Am I alone?

[Hopeful62]

I feel better once the sun sets during the winter. The days are dreadful.

I’m constantly filled with fear. Fear that I’ll lose my job (again).

It feels as though there’s a banjo string constantly tightening in my chest.

I’m irritable.

I take my meds and talk to my therapist, but I’m tired.

I’ve accepted that I’ll never be “normal”. I just want to feel safe and maybe happy from time to time.

[EleanorRose]

You’re not alone.

I feel very similarly to you. I want to feel ok enough to lead a simple but meaningful life. I rarely feel happy but I’d like to feel that way sometimes.

There is something peaceful about the darkness. I think it feels like the world has ‘stopped’. I hate it if I am awake at that time but the shorter winter days make it more common - if I wake up just before sunrise, I find that quite a ‘peaceful’ time of day, too.

[Sunshine425]

I have been feeling this way really bad. I feel like I have a roller coaster of emotions and I'm so exhausted! I'm always fearing everything. I'm almost starting to think I have a paranoid personality trait. I'm always scared people are going to hurt me. My anxiety has been really bad.

To answer your question. No, you are not alone!

[SirGrits]

Yeah bro, you're not alone. Hang in there, persevere.

Perseverence is an under appreciated character trait these days. It can mean staying the course in dark times, but can also mean pushing thru to the next challenge.

God speed.

[Hopeful62 in reply to SirGrits]

Thank you, and you’re quite correct.

[Shutterbug65]

I can definitely relate to what your saying. I to feel better once the day has ended. When I wake up in the morning the cycle of anxiety and sadness starts again. And loneliness is a major part of my life. I’m tired of doing things alone of always being alone. I also take meds but truthfully I’m tired of relying on them.

So your not alone in feeling like this.

Take care of yourself and I hope you find the answers.

[Hopeful62 in reply to Shutterbug65]

Thank you Shutterbug. I’ve become resentful of the meds. But I know how awful I feel without them. You’re not alone either.

[Shutterbug65 in reply to Hopeful62]

I know I’m the same way. I take Xanax XR which helps with my anxiety. But I’m scared of being addicted to it. I heard it’s very difficult to get off of benzodiazepines. I also take Celexa and Mirtazapine.