Anxiety and Intimacy

Hi, I’m new to this site. My husband has anxiety and I’m trying to find ways to support him, but also a way to talk about things that are happening in our relationship because of anxiety and how to deal with it. Does anyone have intimacy issues with their significant others due to anxiety? If so, what has helped ?

[Celtic27]

Hello there welcome to the group I hope you can find the advice you need! First of all how bad is his anxiety and is he on medication for it! Regards your communication issues have you thought about councilling this may help! re your intimancyproblems again the best person to help is your doctor especially if he gets ER DISFUNCTION his doctor can help I wish you all the best!

[NeuronerdDoaty]

I’ve been in my 2nd marriage for 5 years. I’m also 55 with lupus and he has diabetes and he’s chunky. I love chunky!

I had to teach him intimacy is a million things. If a couple only thinks inside the box of the bedroom and one way and time then you might as well give it up.

We always grab each other’s rear. It’s the law in our house. We talk junk quietly to each other. We laugh about making a coffee table book with pictures of dumpsters that represent all the places we stopped and made out in the car.

We can’t have intercourse the traditional way but who wants to be traditional?

Open your mind. Intimacy with your significant other is everywhere. Eating great food and being in the moment is *hot*!!

Doaty💛

[Supergirl1967 in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

I love that! Do you mind if I ask what issues there are? What do you mean by intentional? I am asking because personally this could also help my relationship.

[Supergirl1967 in reply to Supergirl1967]

Traditional?

[NeuronerdDoaty in reply to Supergirl1967]

Message me.

[Snowyowl23]

Hi

I have had a similar issue, except the roles were reversed. As one who has a significant anxiety/bipolar disorder, I struggled with intimacy and sex. The biggest thing I found that helped was having a partner who is supportive and understanding, which it sounds like you are. For someone with anxiety, that is a HUGE deal. I know that may sound like a lame answer, but it’s very true. It’s hard to offer specific advice since not sure of what your exact situation is, but I do know that anxiety will trigger thoughts of inadequacy and feeling like a failure. If your partner expresses these to you (especially related to sex and intercourse) offering reassurance and expressing how much you enjoy spending time with them will help. Again, sounds like a lame, typical answer, but it does help. Those of us with anxiety are always wondering what we did wrong, how we’ve failed and that we’re terrible because something happened or didn’t happen. Having that person there to tell us it’s ok, you’re amazing and I still love you goes such a long way!

I like what neuronerd said - it’s not just about the actual act of sex. Intimacy can be a thousand different things. For me, just sitting next to my husband in a quiet room is a moment of intimacy that I enjoy very much. I also love holding hands with him. Maybe finding those non sexual moments of intimacy and building from there will help you both. Counseling is another great option if you’re both willing to try it. I hope this helps, and wish you both the best!! 🦉🦉

[Want2BHappy3]

That's Wonderful that your there to support him. Usually friends and family abandon us. My own kids have isolated me. Listening to him will Help, but I'm going to guarantee you that you will get tied of it and get frustrated. Get him some counciling and maybe Medication if he needs it?

[Mrspjsmom]

Trying to respond to this delicately. Talking to him might make him feel more anxious and guilty. You may want to start by telling him you love him and would do anything to support him. You may have to do a lot of research. If he takes medication research the medication. Also research different ways to be intimate. As someone with anxiety my worst fear is disappointing my husband and children in any way, shape or form. Please keep the line of communication with your husband open. Things may change often. Good luck.