New and lost

New to this. Just diagnosed with massive depression with psyotic features. Dont know what to do. Kept rubbing the knives while washing them really dont see way out. Just lost.

[Hidden]

Hello & Welcome

You have found somewhere to come where hopefully you will not feel so lost and alone , as you will see so many of us are suffering to and relate and yet we somehow find ways on how to live our life's

For some it can be a relief to get a diagnosis as before we do we just feel we are going mad and for others it can feel frightening as we fear well what will happen next , what is my future ? well with the right support it will be a good one

Did you get any support of any kind with your diagnosis ?

If not I would ask what support you can get

Meanwhile I hope knowing you have somewhere to come and talk will help

As other members log on I am sure you will get lots of good advice

Take Care x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I am scared. The voices and hallucinations arnt fun. I see somebody for help. See doc on monday for new drugs. If i have to take meds to feel happy, dont see the point. My world is out of control and i cant stop it.

[Sunshine425 in reply to Hidden]

I didnt want to take meds either. But after suffering for 10 years I decided to give it a try. The key is finding a doctor you are comfortable with. They should be able to suport you and your needs. Just remember meds can be temorary. It all depends. Im giving mine a chance to work and learning new coping skills. The most important keys have been talking to someone and focusing on self love. Baby steps. We can only live one day at a time while we are trying to heal from our illness.

Best of luck. And welcome🙂

[Hidden in reply to Sunshine425]

Thanks. I have been on antidepressants for 5 years now. All of a sudden this got alot worse. Not sure why or what happened. A night in er and argueing with everybody thought i would try counseling. Just dont know anymore. All the bad thoughts are taking over more.

[Sunshine425 in reply to Hidden]

Sometimes we need an increase or a change. Clearly something is happening that is causing these feelings of fear and doubt. Sounds like you have been fighting this battle and taking the proper steps. I know its hard to see the sunshine, but feel proud. Youre on this site which is a very positive step as well. You can get through this.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hello

It is alright to be scared , we all get these feelings , they can feel over powering but they do pass

I agree it is not fun at all but there is every point in taking medication if needed

When someone has heart problems and they need medication to give them a better life and help their heart to be healthy they take it !

Mental Health is no different , it is the brain that is poorly and needs some medication to help it get better , so why would we not take it if we need it ?

You are feeling low at the moment . your anxiety will be making your thoughts worse , you will feel your world is out of control but these medications will help you to get control back so there is another good reason to take them

Two days before you see the Doctor , that will go quick , and focus on that and please go and see them and accept the help they are offering , at least give it a chance because you owe that to yourself and you also deserve it

You can do this and slowly but surely life will get better , it is early days , but take a day at a time and the future will get brighter x

[Sunshine425 in reply to Hidden]

Agree with all of this.

I often felt like I was spiraling. I had no control over anything. But life has changed durastically. Hold tight to hope. Life is unpredictable, which is terrifying.... but it is also a beautiful journey. Months from now you may look back and this will all feel like just a time you survived! Once you take more steps you will feel like youre gaining control over your illness. Stay strong.

[Hidden in reply to Sunshine425]

Thank you i hope you are right. I am trying but i dont know if its enough. Feel like iam on my own.

[Flyingdon in reply to Sunshine425]

I have to agree with your point

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I generally dont scare easily. But i dont know whats happening and family dont really understand. They think i make this up.

[Sunshine425 in reply to Hidden]

Family..... ugh. I have both extreme sides. My dad believes mental illness can be dealt with alone by just "getting over it" and "not stressing out" while my mom has always pushed me to do counseling and getting on prescriptions. I found the happy medium by making up my mind for myself. It took me a few years but I started counseling again. After a year of talk therapy my anxiety was still so bad I was barely sleeping or functioning. So I asked what my options were. Now Im on a low dose twice a day. Its low enough that I can barely feel any different, all I know is I can sleep great and I can cope. Day by day I feel stronger. And to think, I could have felt much better all along....🌻

At the end of the day, you have to do what feels right.

[Sunshine425 in reply to Sunshine425]

By the way Im 31. I know family can still influence us even as were adults. Ive been dealing with family dynamics a lot while learning to cope. You have to tune them out and focus on you. After all, you know what feels right or wrong better than ANYONE else.

Im rooting for you fordguy. And thats saying something... im more of a cheverlet girl! 😆

[Hidden in reply to Sunshine425]

Thanks for listening. Greatly appreciated even if you like chevys. If you wanna talk hit me up. Going to try and sleep maybe that will be better.

[Sunshine425 in reply to Hidden]

We could all use a lil more smiles... life doesnt have to be so miserable all the time

[Hidden in reply to Sunshine425]

You are so right. Love the name sunshine. It just makes you feel good.

[Sunshine425 in reply to Hidden]

My private messaging is always open.

☆Sunshine

[Hidden in reply to Sunshine425]

Dont know how to do that

[Sunshine425 in reply to Hidden]

Click on the persons profile pic then hit messege button.

[Flyingdon in reply to Sunshine425]

Amen on the chevy, made me smile

[Hidden in reply to Flyingdon]

If i was close, i would join you for coffee. I was a auto tech for more then 30 years. Mug, cup, thermos was always on toolbox.

[Sunshine425 in reply to Hidden]

My bother is a mechanic. I know many who work on cars. Right now Im trying to sell my volkswagon. I wish I took better care of my chevy lumina. But that care is long gone.

[Hidden in reply to Sunshine425]

Hey i did try private so you know. Dont know if i did right

[Cmarie12 in reply to Hidden]

Hi fordguy,

That is pretty typical, most of us on this site have had family that just don't understand and yes, think it's in your head or that you want attention. If you can convince your parents to go with you to an appointment, I'm sure your doctor would be glad to educate them and mostly explain what you're going thru.

Hopefully you'll have a positive outcome and you start getting the support you so rightfully deserve.

Hugs,

Marie

[Hidden in reply to Cmarie12]

Hello. Its not my parents. My life is very complicated. I dont think people would want to read dynamics

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

People that don't suffer very rarely understand as this is something that cannot be seen only felt by those that are suffering , that is why these Communities are so good as we all know where you and others are coming from

I know it hurts when family are like this towards you but the main thing is that you start to understand what you are suffering with and how to cope , not them and if they choose not to believe you then they must think the Doctors are liars then as they are the professionals and they have diagnosed you , maybe you could ask them why they think this is not real after a Doctor has diagnosed you ?

A lot of us have never experienced been frightened till something comes a long that does make us feel this way , I doubt many people even without anxiety have never managed to get through life without feeling some kind of fear

Remember , there is nothing to fear but fear itself , which is an emotion and feeling but one that will eventually go away , it does not make you a weak person feeling as you do but deep down you are strong and you will get through this x

[Flyingdon in reply to Hidden]

I went through a time last year I got real dark, almost drove into concrete overpass on purpose and tested a gun in my mouth dark. Then I got on here, I did not give up, I did get meds that help, but they change as you do and your body does. Don’t feel alone, hang on to good thoughts, and keep talking to us on here, it’s odd but knowing it’s not only me makes it easier because I’m not a freak, just chemical imbalances making me more sad. You got this, you’re here so good job.

[Hidden in reply to Flyingdon]

Hello. Done all that as well. To messy, clean freak. I have several ways thought out. When i do it, dont want to be found. Just go in silence. A few of mu buddies have done it. I sometimes feel jealous of them.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the responses. I will do what i can. If you ever want to talk let me know.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

And when you need someone to talk to , you know where we are , don't hold it in , a problem shared is a problem halved as we say round here , so share what is on your mind and hopefully it will feel less x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Your beautiful. Thank you so much

[sarahmcf]

I thought I was just creepy and weird but I do that same thing.

Would you like to talk about life or issues that are contributing to your depression? Are you currently seeking counseling?

[Hidden in reply to sarahmcf]

Not tonight but tomorrow. Thanks for listening.

[sarahmcf in reply to Hidden]

Anytime.. this platform if to surround those who need it. 🖤

[Hidden in reply to sarahmcf]

I always thought i was weird, differant. Not many friends. I am in couciling. Seeing if it help.

[at123]

Fordguy, I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. Please know that you are not alone in this struggle, and that your life is so incredibly valuable.

I hope this will encourage you:

bit.ly/37fYqSo

I am praying for you, friend.

[Hidden in reply to at123]

Thank you. I feeling a little better. The last 2 weeks have been hard.