Broken and can’t stop crying

[enya621]

Hello friends. I’ve hit the ultimate low. I’m on my Bathroom floor in fetal position crying hysterically, screaming, grunting and throwing things. My dad died last year and I put away the grief but slowly the depression has gotten worse and meds have stopped working. I saw my therapist today and he briefly brought up my dad and I quickly shut him down. But it left me thinking how I chose to put him away because the pain of his absence is too great. That therapy session threw for a loop of grief and memories that I did not want to conjure up.

I am on the floor drinking whiskey with half and ambien and a klonipin. I don’t want to die but I do want to mentally numb my pain. I want to be on pure oblivion till tomorrow.

I have no one to talk to right now.

[Agora1]

enya, I am right here to listen and to comfort.

Talk to me dear xx

[Agora1]

enya, are you there?

Mixing Whiskey with medications is dangerous.

Is there someone there with you who can call 911?

I think it is important you get professional help with

a counselor right now.

Please let me know that you are safe

[SuZQ154]

How are you doing, Enya621? Just read this and I am concerned. Your grief is understandable. Sorry you are going through this! Please keep posting.