Scared for friend

[emotionalsinger96]

A very good friend of mine is going through hell right now with his family. I've done everything I can think of to help him but I feel so helpless. He is deeply hurting and it pains me to see him like this. His mental state is terrible and I am scared for him. I can't sleep at night and if I do I have terrible dreams about losing him. I lay awake at night shaking and crying because I am so worried about him. He is starting to shut people out and I'm not sure what to do. He has severe anxiety and depression, and we are somehow setting each other off but I don't want to lose him. Does anyone have any advice?

[kenster1]

hi if he is having problem with his family its a hard one but maybe he can put an end to it and hopefully over time it heals.supporting him is great but theres only so much you can do as it sounds like its effecting you.sometimes you have to be a little selfish in order to keep yourself healthy.maybe txt or email him and help that way but if your scared maybe you should hang back a bit.

[emotionalsinger96 in reply to kenster1]

thank you, I definitely forget to take care of myself because I care so much about my friends

[kenster1 in reply to emotionalsinger96]

friends are important t us but your more important to yourself its great your reaching out but don't forget your own health.

[emotionalsinger96 in reply to kenster1]

Thank you

[Agora1 in reply to emotionalsinger96]

emotionalsinger, we each have to know where to draw the line

when extending our help and take time to regenerate. xx

[Hidden]

How distressing for both of you.

BUT 🤔 and I mean this in a kind and considered way: focus on yourself and on your internship. Your friend‘s mental health and situation has become a huge distraction and it’s affecting your well-being too.

Step back so that you don’t set each other off.

Perhaps your friend is shutting people out because the added pressure from worried friends and family around him is too much.

[emotionalsinger96 in reply to Hidden]

It didn't occur to me that maybe we were adding stress to him, I will take a step back to let him and myself breathe. Thank you

[pam4him]

So sorry you both are struggling. What a great friend you are to care so much. Is there a possibility of getting the friend to some counseling? Just talking could help relieve a lot of the anxiety. This site bit.ly/2bYaQqv could help with local resources. If not, consider talkspace.com. Allows access to trained counselors via texting. Try it for yourself to at least keep you mentally strong for your friend. Prayers for peace and wisdom as you both go through this trial.

[Hidden]

I was in a situation very similar to yours a very long time ago. A close friend at the time was going through a messy situation with her husband. Like your friend, she shut out people and avoided contact with me. No matter how many times I tried to comfort her, reach out or even just let her know that I was there, nothing came back to me. It came to a point where I had to just let her handle the situation on her terms. Sadly, I haven't heard from her in years, but sometimes people need to heal in their own way.

Like a few other people mentioned, sometimes the stress of their situation equally makes them feel guilty, so they don't want to feel like a martyr after an already terrible circumstance. Having ones constantly reaching out may overwhelm them too as they can't respond the way they want due to lack of energy. Definitely give them time and when they are ready, allow them back in without reproach. The worst thing anyone can do is get angry for the lack of response; it's disrespectful as their way of coping may be different from yours (not implying you would do this, just stating it generally).

You're a good friend for posting this, you care so much and that's beyond obvious. I am sure they appreciate you very much but just can't handle their own mess at the moment.