Trying to be positive

[Jkhaughttyy]

I’m sitting here alone and feeling like I have lost everything. My family my friends. I was 5150 twice in 3 weeks. I don’t have the nerve to kill myself . I’ve been put on so many meds and I hate them so I always stop taking them. I’m just feeling bummed and I feel like the sadder I get the stronger my ex gets . I can’t eat or sleep. I’m just reaching out to see if someone can understand.

[kenster1]

hi sorry to hear that.is that your little boy he is the reason you will do whatever it takes to get back on the right track.one day you will be strong again standing tall having got through your current situation.friends come and go relationships with family can be fractured but usually over time they heal.maybe you could have a review of your meds maybe stick to the one that worked best for you.

[Jkhaughttyy in reply to kenster1]

Thank you

[kenster1 in reply to Jkhaughttyy]

no worries I felt like you before somehow I got through it you will to.

[Hidden]

I can understand. I'm here if you want to talk.

[Jkhaughttyy in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. It’s hard to be all now. I was so in love with my family

[Agora1 in reply to Jkhaughttyy]

I am so truly sorry Jk...

I hope it helps to know that we care and you are not alone.

[Jkhaughttyy in reply to Hidden]

I would love to talk . Thank you for understanding

[Feistygurl]

I can absolutly relate to most of your post. I have a huge inner conflict about meds. I start them then I end up sayimg screw it and stop taking them. I did have a gene sight study done and that helped narrow down the list of meds that work with my genetics.

[Jkhaughttyy in reply to Feistygurl]

I went to the doctor today and he said take melatonin. I’ve tried it all but my mind just keep on going.

[Feistygurl in reply to Jkhaughttyy]

Melatonin didn't do anything for me. Feel free to pm if ya wanna talk

[Keleanners]

I’m sorry. I know how you feel. Meds didn’t work for me. I think about suicide a lot. My children are grown, but I hang in there for my dogs. They are all that I have. I’m here if you want to talk.

[stephy82]

Hi, as you work through your pain and try to get better, I advise you to refrain from looking or paying attention to someone else state. I say that because you mentioned that the sadder you get, the better your ex seems to be. Our thoughts have the power to create certain narrative that may in fact only be in our mind as true.

[Hidden]

I not only hear you but understand....please try to feed positive into your mind... are you in contact with the beautiful boy in your picture? Think of him and how much he needs you....have you tried therapy? I so feel for you and am here for you...be kind and gentle with yourself at this time...I wish for you nothing but the best....

Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy and groovy hugs!

[taos57 in reply to Hidden]

Such a wonderful reply. Even though it wasn't meant for me, I can feel the love you share and I am going to hold a little of it in my heart, as well.

[Hidden in reply to taos57]

I'll give you as much love as you need..it's so wonderful to spread it all around and I sure have enough of it to give, in fact plenty!

May you have a beautiful day!

Dump trucks filled with love, peace, light, joy and groovy hugs for you!

[taos57 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much and many blessing to you today also.

[Hidden in reply to taos57]

Oh and by the way I see you just joined...Welcome to the site...you'll love being here....loads of support... I'm here for you!

More dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy and groovy hugs!

[Jkhaughttyy in reply to Hidden]

It seems to be getting harder to handle. I’m trying to be strong and get through it. I’m just so lonely

[Hidden in reply to Jkhaughttyy]

I understand being lonely..my hubby is a trucker, all kids grown & gone ...so we get a big 24 hours together every week.....stinks I know...

If you want to pm me that would be fine...

Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy and groovy hugs!

[Jkhaughttyy in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I’m going to get him now. I will try to do another day and think good thoughts.

[Hidden in reply to Jkhaughttyy]

My pleasure feed as many positive thoughts that you can and more into your mind...it will breed more positive for you as negative ones will do the same....Hold onto your power and fight for you...you're special...there's only one you! Enjoy your time time with your beautiful boy...he'll bring you joy...they come up with some of the funniest things....how I'd love mine to be little again...too late for that....39-28...4 all grown but guess what I'm still needed so keep that in mind also ...no matter how old they get they will always need us!

Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy and hugs for you!

[pamela74]

I can really understand where you are coming from for the past couple of months I have been dealing with major depression. It seems like there is no one in my “bubble” that understands. I have lost all of my friends my family has been very distance from me. My phone can goes days without a ring or text from someone. I have felt like killing myself but truthfully I don’t want to die I just want this pain both physical and mental to stop. You are not alone.

[Jkhaughttyy in reply to pamela74]

I hear ya. You can call me anytime and I will talk to you. So many people around and the world seems so lonely

[meeshsister in reply to pamela74]

You have expressed exactly what I go thru on a daily basis. Depression and anxiety can really do a number on us driving away the ones we love and need to support us getting through these things. Loneliness bites me hard but I am afraid of dealing with people because it can cause great emotional pain and problems. Easier to be alone I think to myself but that hurts even worse when you get right down to it. I didnt get any Christmas cards this year and that hurt alot. Sometimes I see life as a big uphill battle and just want to end it all. But if I really think about I dont want to kill myself, I just want the pain to end and to be normal and happy and carefree again like everyone else. I support you.

[Jax27]

Know that things will get better . You have so much support here . I struggle with anxiety and depression and have there kids . Sometimes in the moment when I’m having a bad episode it seems like my whole world is collapsing. I come here for support and I try and medicate walk . Even driving helps me . Im on lexapro and the first two weeks of taking it is hell but after - day by day I’m getting better . It doesn’t fix everything. That’s what I’m working on now . Therapy , meditation, working out . You can get through this time .

[Jkhaughttyy in reply to Jax27]

Yeah they put me on lexapro and I quit two days later cause I couldn’t sleep.

[Lilly5]

Trying to be positive is very good. Maybe you can achieve it by watching positive videos. Something like religious videos or videos of Anthony Robbins. Take little steps in a positive direction every day and you will start feeling better. I will pray for you. God bless you.

[Klpvr]

I’m so sorry.

Just on the other side of a 40 year marriage. Nothing I wanted, but decisions made and now I am trying to find life on the other side.before going on meds ( anxiety and sleeplessness), my Dr. Ordered a cheek swab DNA test to determine what meds were right and which ones to avoid. I believe that saved me months and months of trial and error. Quetiapine, 50 mg. At night helps me sleep and soothes some of the anxiety

Find a few trusted friends...talk and talk. Read something affirming every day, Mark Nepo The Book of Awakening...write your thoughts and feelings daily. Helps to get them out of you head. Freakin pray or meditate or talk out loud to a higher power.

And use all of us on this site.

You will now be in my thoughts daily

[Jkhaughttyy in reply to Klpvr]

Thank you so much.

[NoRegret]

I just returned from a family vacation with 15 people. My SAD was the worst it has ever been. I actually wasn't sure that I have it for sure but after that I know I do. I have it bad, no of my delusions were real, I lost it. I feel the same as you that I have lost my family and friends that were there. My oldest son has plagued me my whole life, he has no need to keep in touch (phone or in person) and it seems like rejection to me. Him being them 24/7 must have triggered my emotions somehow. I too need help but we are in the same boat. What meds do SAD people take that they have gotten the best results from? KJ

[Tetelatia]

Hang in there A lot of these meds don't help. Doctors and pharmaceutical Companies are getting rich. Just a suggestion, there are natural plants that may help you. I have a medical marijuana card and some of the products are helping me. FYI

[NoRegret in reply to Tetelatia]

I have been on and off meds for decades, currently wellbutrin and medical cannabis. I suppose I always hope there is a new miracle pill to cure me. I think SAD can be managed sometimes better than others but not cured. Correct me if I'm wrong but I think a malfunctioning transporter gene SLC6A4 and overactive amygdala is linked to SAD Social Anxiety Disorder. In my opinion a pill can't fix it. I agree Cannabis is most effective at keeping my my a little calmer.

[Jkhaughttyy in reply to NoRegret]

My mom just said she got me some cbd gummies I will try tonight.

[Lilmem7]

Sometimes when you get into a negative thought loop it helps to disrupt your other senses so your brain focuses on something other than what it was thinking about - The last time I was uncontrollably shaking on a bad day a crisis line told me to go take a cold shower and it did help at least temporarily. Not sure if it would help you but might be worth a try.

[Audiomarc1]

I understand. Being alone and in pain is the worst. You're not alone. There are so many of us who truly walk in your shoes. I do. I come close many times. But reached out for help. That is the beginning. There will be others like us who have truly caring people here. Be strong for we're here for you. I am one of many who want you with us. Please don't leave your friends, us. Your friend Marc.

[artistinresidence]

I understand the loss ..the loss of life as we thought it was supposed to be. I'm so sorry you are in this great despair. But theres a way that seems right to man that leads nowhere. Theres a book fr a female author Lysa Terkeurst...ITS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE THIS WAY. And another title UNIVITED . theres a 12 step program ..free that has helped to many to count called Celebrate Recovery. It's for ANYONE with a hurt a habit or a HANGUP. Well, that's everyone ! Theres no magic bullet...but by Gods hand guiding us we will find more joy..more peace than anyone can understand. It's an inner assurance that only God can fill. I will keep in prayer and you can message me your thoughts. When I am so down trodden i listen to contemporary Christian music LOUD...i let it fill every part of me and before long I am lifted. That's just a tiny spec at what I use.

You are important...never mind who seems stronger because scripture says...I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens.

Praying.

A

[Jkhaughttyy in reply to artistinresidence]

Thank you and God bless

[Ellex31]

Hey x

I know what your going through and it’s very painful what happened with your family if you don’t mind me asking ! What ever has happened your emotions are not strong enough to cope so your stuck in this cycle of depression and or anxiety ! The medication does help it’s takes many months tho when I was getting used to mine it was almost unbearable the feeling and emotions that I was experiencing it was hell but it does calm down I would go back and see your doctor and make a plan of action and slowly drag yourself out the rabbit hole ! I’m here if you want to talk

[Jkhaughttyy in reply to Ellex31]

Thank you so much

[Agora1]

Jk, Stay safe my friend. We are here if you need to talk. We will listen. x

[Jkhaughttyy]

I don’t know what to do

[Gentlespirit12345]

I understand. My ex played a lot of games and manipulates others very well. My whole being felt sucked dry and causing me pain seems to give him strength while leaving me drained. (Sounds like the final discard) or your still in a traumatic situation. Its exhausting. Try to stay grounded in the present and do little things to help like going outside for a walk or stay in the park for awhile. Understand the sadness. Be very very kind and gentle with yourself. Its not easy to go through so much but u can take small steps to improve your situation. Take care and i wish u well.

[Hidden]

Your heart has been broken. Very painful and sounds like this has triggered depression. Wishing you well. Try to walk a bit and maybe try and stick with the meds. It may take a couple of weeks for the side effects to wear off and you will feel worse before you feel better probably. But if you know in advance that this will happen and that you’ll come out the other side, it could be sensible to review with docs.

Good luck 😊

[Notsobubly]

Oh brother have I been there. Feeling hopeless and no energy to fight back makes us feel incredibly helpless but remember that little boy there needs you. I used to not take my meds and I almost killed my wife, luckily she got the kids and left for a couple days during my mania and after it subsided i felt awful. The best thing i have ever done is take my meds at the same time everyday and fall asleep at the same time. It really helps and it will make you start to feel a little better after a while. trust your Dr. and keep on keeping on (joe Dirt).

Praying for you Brother!!!