I wanna live one day worry free

[dbeck128]

It's me again. No surprise..

I'm just on here to rant

Not talking to anyone in particular because I've been on here alot this last month or so. I feel like a burden actually. I have a new worry everyday. It's always about my body. I observe my skin, a lot.

I get weird pains and think it's the end. I feel like I'm destined to die soon. And to leave my kids with no mother. Because of an illness that spread over my whole body.

I want to change my way of thinking. But my mind is stuck in a loop. A constant. Dead. Loop. I am so tired of having constant negativity in my mind to the point I have an attack because I might have a SIMPLE BRUISE on my body!

I have tried my anxiety meds, my depression meds, I'm on a mood stabilizer but this anxiety? Oh this anxiety is horrible. It's always going to be stuck to the bottom of my shoe. I may have a good day here and there but I have the worst anxiety, ever. I'm sure of it. Its not fair. Why me? Why cant I be worry free?! why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hidden]

its okay to rant now and again, i think everyone is liable to do so.. and truly you are not a burden. i'm sorry nothing seems to be working lately, but hopefully sometime soon you can get to where there are more good days in the mix.

[foxglove_pnw]

Hi dbeck128

I can totally relate to your post ! Dying and leaving my kids alone is my biggest fear .

I have heath anxiety so everything is a big deal for me . A bruise is not just a bruise !

I try to find moments of joy during my week so I can counter balance my panic and fear !

I love volunteering so I do that while the kids are at school . After couple years of not being able to work out ( I love Zumba) because of my anxiety , I found yoga to be the perfect exercise for me .

I have been learning how to set boundaries and have change a lot of my friendships . I try to be a blessing for each person I meet , even if it is just a smile or a hello . The world is full of people who are lonely and longing for connection . I use my vulnerability to let others know that I am not perfect , so please be yourself with me .

Some days I don’t think I can go on ! Some days I wish I could rent a bed in the ER , so I could have doctors with me 24 hours a day . I also ask why me !

We are here to lift each other up ! Keep fighting ❤️

[Sillysausage234]

Youlle get there

[CAteacher75]

dbeck,

Please keep ranting. Rest assured at least one person is less alone because of it. Rants are comforting for me.

As for what’s going on for you, I think foxglove is right on.

[quitter333]

What happens if you are in a situation where you have to worry about something else than your foggy future?

Like skydiving.

In my logic to kill off worries, you find other, better worries.