never stopping

[janeytrace]

My daughter is 19, severely depressed. She has one friend who is depressed also, her other friend killed himself just over a year ago. She has never has a boyfriend, she is lonely and tells me hundreds of times a week, mostly at night time that she wants to die. Tonight she asked me to get her a knife.

I've been down all the usual channels but nothing has helped. i'm desperate now. Really worried she might find a way to end her life, but on top of this severe depression she is even more upset because she can't find a way to end her life.

I wish she could see into the future and had something to look forward to, but it seems impossible to paint the picture or even just to ease her pain in the moment.

The gps wont give her anti depressants, she has been given them before and had allergic reactions to three different ones. Counselling has been unsuccessful. I don't know what to do.

[Madysen019]

Dear janeytrace,

First, I send my appreciation to you as a loving mother who truly notices the signs of her child being in distress.

I, myself am 20 years old and struggle with depression and in the past suicidal tendencies. I was always angry that my mother never really did anything but tell me to “talk to a therapist” when all I wanted was to talk to her.

So for you to recognize your daughters struggles , is a true blessing.

The most important thing to tell your daughter is that she is loved, valid and wanted by you and the rest of your family.

Loneliness is tough battle on its own, especially at this age. It can be difficult especially if she has friends or others around her who have romantic relationships. It can bring a feeling of “not being good enough” for someone to have that desire towards them.

I am not an expert on her exact feelings , and nobody is but her.

I suggest talking to her and trying to set small goals. Even if it’s something as simple as fluffing her pillows. By starting off with goals that could have a reward, it’ll help show that things can get better.

An idea I did was what I called the “chocolate therapy” jar. Now this may silly but it is in no mean to be insensitive to the seriousness of your daughters emotions.

The “chocolate therapy” jar was for just as it’s name. Everytime I felt sad or was in a bad mood, I’d put a coin or a few In this jar.

Eventually, when I had what seemed like the worst day, I was able to get some “chocolate therapy.” And it made it seem like I could recognize my feelings as being rewarding in the end.

I suggest seeking a referral if possible to a Psychiatrist to assist her with medications.

And keep doing what you are doing to, loving her and listening.

I hope this helps a little.

Much love 💕

[janeytrace in reply to Madysen019]

Thank you so much for your reply. It is so helpful to hear from you especially as you are around her age. I will try what you suggest.

I do love her very much and so do her older brother and sister. I'm still getting accustomed to just listening i'm usually a fixer however this i know doesnt work when someone is convinced about something. So. I try hard to listen and comfort, sometimes it seems to soothe her.

I like your idea of fluffing the pillows and the chocolate therapy.

Thanks again for replying, it has been a help. I hope you go on to feel better, you sound intelligent and kind.

much love xx