I’m stuck and don’t know where to turn

[Mike504925]

I been so stuck in this depression and it seems I never can get away from it.I have no one to talk to and feel I have nowhere to turn.my family see that I’m struggling and they ignore it because they say they don’t know how to help so instead that just Carry on and tiptoe around me and completely disregard it.most times I just want to die so they can hurt as I do and actually see how hard this is for me.i try and voice what I feel but it seems it just constantly goes ignored.i need help but idk where to turn and I honestly just feel like quitting.my family knows I’m struggling but they still just watch movies and go places together or separately but leave me here alone.which I don’t understand if they see I’m hurting why are they so ok with living their lives around me and excluding me from things to do when obviously I need the company the most.sometimes when I’m in my room crying and so alone I can hear them upstairs laughing and enjoying themselves ..but still so ok with living on while I’m hurting

[Michdau1]

Hi Mike. Mental health issues really suck don't they!!! I can relate to how you are feeling and you are definitely not alone ❤️ the truth is, ppl really don't know what to say to us or what to do sometimes. I've experienced that and have lost friends over it to be honest. It's still good that your communicating about how you feel. If you aren't getting anywhere, perhaps tell them exactly what you need rather than how you feel? They may respond to this better? Please set yourself s little goal and try to join in at least once or twice a week until you feel stronger. Watching a movie isn't a bad idea as a starting point as it doesn't require too much social interaction. I want you to know that you will find support, advice and friends here. You won't find judgement or criticism. Talk to us. Thinking of you xxx

[hypercat54]

I have to agree with Michdau that you need to tell them how they can help you as it's clear they don't know how to. They are obviously afraid of upsetting you further and this is natural as they haven't experienced this. Our pain belongs to us and no one can truly understand our lived lives. That's just the way it is.

Would you rather they were miserable too? No one can let themselves be dragged down too much as we are all vulnerable to depression and anxiety. No matter how much they love you they can only go so far and letting themselves feel bad too won't help you.

It's easy when in this state to forget that everyone has problems and they are often struggling to cope with their own. It doesn't mean they don't care but that they already have a lot on their own plates.

We understand here however so talk to us. x

[SA192461]

I’m so sorry Mike504925..🙁I feel the same way..and I’m so alone with no family around..Trying so hard to cope with a new job, new apartment..and so many other changes since my ex husband divorced me after 30 years. I’m trying to just take things minute by minute..I sure hope your family comes around for you. Sending Hugs

[Mike504925 in reply to SA192461]

Hi,I’m sorry your going through these feelings especially knowing how much it hurts myself.I really would just say remain strong by the things your saying your doing alone ..obviously shows your strong will.thanks for the encouragement and hugs🙂..sending tons right back your way and many more ..your not alone..I’m learning that by just speaking with you all, how many other people share the same feelings of sadness,shame,loneliness and so much more... sad to know.but comforting as well..

[knittingninja]

I know you are feeling terrible. That sucks. But I wanted to share a tidbit. It's something called "opposite action" ( also known as 'opposite to emotion') The short idea of this concept from DBT is that you do the exact opposite as to what you are feeling. Could you muster up the energy and motivation to join your family on outings our just around the house? It may make you feel better to participate. I wish you well.

[Mike504925 in reply to knittingninja]

Yea,I know your right😔.I definitely have to push myself to stop just allowing life to pass me by.i have spent so much time and energy allowing this depression to win that it has sneakingly taken over and became my norm.and has taken the lead in my life..I don’t want this sickness to win..and unfortunately without the proper help ,knowledge and support..I look back and so many years have been devoted to my depression..I have to take control of this..And I know it’s not that simple.but I have to try way more then I have.and interacting with my family/doing the opposite of what I have always done can be a healthy/wiser choice for my present and future sanity..thanks..peace and love

[knittingninja in reply to Mike504925]

I know it seems like a lot, but I know you can do it. Be well.

[Redangels410]

Hi Mike, I am so sorry for what you are going through & how you're feeling towards your family. I went through depression months ago too. So, I know & understand how sad & lonely to be in that situation. It was dark & ugly & no one should ever experience that alone! I believe that your family loves you & cares for you, but they just don't know what to do or how to help you. Have you tried reaching out to others, like a trustworthy friends?

At first, I entertained my feelings & did some pity party. I isolated myself even though I have some friends that tried to reach out to me. I'm a mom with 3 beautiful adult girls with a dear husband. So, one day I told myself that I want to help myself because I am blessed with a wonderful family. This may seems easier to say than to do it, but I did it & I know that you can do it too. I made an appointment to see my doctor. And thank God that she is very compassionate & just listened to me. I cried each visits & it we exchange several e-mails & phone calls. Because I have to admit, there were still some days where I would go back to being depressed. But I was blessed that my doctor didn't give up on me & referred me to counseling because I refused to take any meds. And I reached out to my family & accept the help that my friends offered. But most of all, it's helping ourselves & deciding what's good for us, no matter what circumstances we are in. I also went back to my ladies bible study & got the emotional & spiritual support that I needed. And I am so glad that I chose to surround myself with godly people who lifted me up.

Have you reached out to your doctor & tried to get some counseling? Do you also have faith & a place to worship? Because church is number one amazing resource to get some help. I can share you a free counseling & support system if you are interested. Also, some resources like books about depression if you want to. Take care & I'll be praying for you.