Struggling. Again.

[PhoebeBH]

Hi all,

Found myself struggling again. Here to vent and seek some advice if possible.

My attendance at work has been sporadic since I started. I’ve suffered with anxiety and depression for a while now and it’s always interfered with my day to day life.

Since the new financial year I have been in work for 75% of my scheduled shifts. Which is a lot of sick days in such a short space of time. Some were due to migraines, others more mental health days.

Current worries include: Financial stress (I don’t get paid for sick days). Both my Grandmas aren’t well. My mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer last August too (she’s doing okay). My dad will lose the love of his life when mum finally passes (this has been on my mind a lot recently). I have to move house at the end of July. I’ve had struggles with my boyfriend as of late (on the mend).

I think I’ve been suffering with a mild depressive episode and the anxiety that’s come with it has been unbearable. I can’t stop thinking about everything. It’s exhausting.

I had to attend an investigation regarding my absences yesterday. I was as candid as possible and tried my best to explain how my migraines and mental health effect me. My answers must not have been good enough as it’s now been escalated to a disciplinary. I’m so ashamed. I’ve only just told my boyfriend about it.

I feel I should prepare for it but I’ve no idea how. I want to improve my attendance at work (money duh) but I’ve no idea how.

I’ve been through a similar situation at my workplace before. After my mum was first diagnosed my attendance was patchy and quality of work slipped. I had a god awful meeting with HR and my manager. Ended up seeing occupational health who declared me fit for work but emotional vulnerable.

I want to get better too but feel like I’m running out of options. I’ve been on various medications, cbt therapy, group therapy, meditation.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thank you

[Optimists]

Does your company offer FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act). Your doctor fills out the paperwork and submits it to your healthcare provider and they communicate with your employer. It allows you days off to take care of family and yourself (unpaid leave), but your job is protected.

[PhoebeBH in reply to Optimists]

Thanks for getting back to me.

I’ve never heard of FMLA, gave it a quick google and I’m unsure if we have it here in the UK. My family actually live a five hour drive from me, so it’s not so simple to see them.

[crowningglory19]

Hi there, I am so sorry you are going thru so much! That is a lot on your shoulders, you gotta push thru and continue working or things will get worse esp w no money and a lot of time on your hands to stew in with negative thoughts. Also stress depletes magnesium in us and it is most needed in stress so I'd recommend taking it daily. Magnesium malate is best absorbed by body. Also, ginseng is great for getting rid of those sticky negative thoughts that loop around and around. I take them in the evenings when I need them most. Also, taking B complex every morning is great for energy and focus, to get you going to work and do better there. Best to you, my dear. You are strong and times will get better. Hand in there!