Feeling overwhelmed

[ronnellstc]

It has been a while since I've posted here. Just looking to get my thoughts on "paper", I've always found that writing my feelings and thoughts worked best for me.

With that being said, I have been having a very hard time with my self worth and self image lately. My fiance and I do not have sex very often , a lot of it due to both of us having trauma from the past. I've always associated sex w/ feeling wanted and loved. He shows me daily that I am loved, and worthy in many different ways. I struggle with believing it, my brain has made it so that i can not trust the things he says, that there is some ulterior motive behind the things he says and does. He does not value sex as a sign of his love for me, but like I said its due to my past trauma, that I associate sex w/ love. We are intimate in different ways ( hugging, kissing, holding hands, cuddling), but I just feel dirty, unattractive when we go long spans without sex