depression: Hi Guys My husband was... - Anxiety and Depre...

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depression

Angepange01 profile image
9 Replies

Hi Guys

My husband was diagnosed with depression when was in his early thirties. This was after several years of wondering what the hell was going on with him. He had a month off of work when he was 23 due to stress and anxiety but still didnt know what was wrong. 10 years later and he had a full on melt down which was very hard to witness. The doctor prescribed Fluoxitine which he was more than happy to take. It was a good while before i saw any kind of change in him but even after being on the meds now for nearly 12 years its still very hit and miss as to whether he will be in a good mood on waking up in the morning or a low one. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with a more natural or herbal route when treating depression as i feel after all these years surely there should be more of an improvement in his wellbeing. It doesnt help of course that over the years he has tried to self medicate with other forms of drugs i.e cocaine, alcohol, etc. He knows that none of these are a long term fix but has felt it to be a form of escape from his shitty feelings over the years. I completely understand why he does it but boy its really annoying when your trying to help him through it all and you have no form of escape for yourself you just have to sit and watch it happen and wait for him to come out the other side feeling worse than before he took it all as now he has to also deal with the guilt that he has let you down. So I want him to take a better more cleaner route and try to go down the more natural path, if he will of course as he isnt the best at trying new things. Ive looked on many websites and gone looking in shops for the right thing for him to try but really without any knowledge its hrd to know where to start. Happy that ive decided to join here and actually it feels very therapuetic to write things down. Maybe something I should of done a long time ago!!!!!!

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Angepange01
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9 Replies

I'm so sorry you and your husband are having to deal with all this. I guess I wonder if your husband has had any severe trauma in his life that's something I guess a lot of people have butt some people deal with it better than others or seem to rebound better than others. And until people learn to deal with it sometimes they COPE in ways that are not healthy. There's St John's Wort that's a natural way to deal with it but it's crucial to get a really good brand. Have heard that CBD can help with anxiety although I have not tried it. CBD seems to be the current cure-all for many things but not sure what long-term effects might be or have not spoken to anyone that has actually used it for anxiety. I will tell you what has helped a huge amount and that is acupuncture I get it done weekly now and it helps a lot. Of course for me it only last for a couple days and then I have to wait till the next treatment. But many areas have Community Acupuncture my city has a wonderful person who does Community Acupuncture and I can get Punch Cards on sale and enduring that pay only $12.50 per session. So maybe look for something like that I don't know if that would be helpful or not or if he's open to doing something like that. But you figure at this point if he's feeling that frustrated he might be willing to try it. And I feel bad for you I know it's got to be hard for you to I hope you're doing some self-care I know writing on here probably does help it is therapeutic but hopefully you're able to get out and talk to people and get some of this out of your system. I can just imagine that that is stressful for you as it is for him.

Angepange01 profile image
Angepange01 in reply to

Hi there

Thanks for your reply. Yes CBD oil he takes as well one i forgot to mention!! That actually does help to a degree but at the same time can make him a bit too chilled for my liking. Sorry to say it but people with depression are a lot of the time super lazy and it can be really frustrating to live with. He has great ideas at night when he is feeling happy and full of beans but come the morning all that positivity has gone out the window and he is back to sleeping sometimes for hours at a time!! I wont give up on the lookout for something more natural that gives him the feeling of wanting to get up in the morning and be part of our world again.

in reply to Angepange01

So sounds like he's may be bipolar? Is that a possibility so maybe a whole different medication? I know you were looking for something natural it looks like there have been quite a few good natural options. And it's got to be frustrating for you not being able to control his diet or anything else basically. It's frustrating being on the other end of it I'm sure. I hope something works out.

Karmakat profile image
Karmakat

Hi there, I’m sorry your husband has depression it’s a really hard thing to cure totally.. as so many factors play into it and they still don’t know what exactly causes it etc. I’ve had it for 20 years. I just got myself out of a bad bout of it which was very severe lasting a year. I will quickly say I am treatment resistant...meds do not work on me at all.. but what I found helpful was this...taking proper amounts of fish oil (omega oils), all the B vitamins in larger doses, Vitamin D and magnesium, eating healthy especially getting enough protein as all the amino acids are important for the brain. Staying away from sugar...alcohol is horrible..it is a depressant. I almost never drink. I really believe turmeric helped me hugely with depression...as your brain has inflammation from depression and it definitely helped my depression. I bought bulk loose organic turmeric from amazon and added it to my tea every night. Stress...mental or physical is very hard on some people like myself and makes my depression worse. When I was working out too much like hardcore 2 hours a day it caused me to actually spiral into a bad depression...it was because my adrenals are so burnt out they could not handle the physical stress. I developed insomnia then horrible anxiety then the deep depression hit... Also I had a lot of mental stress and so I was also taking a glandular adrenal supplement to help heal my adrenal gland. So for me...I believe this combination got me on more steady ground. I still have low days but nothing like I was. Deep breathing and meditation is good too. I hope this helps a bit...good luck!

Angepange01 profile image
Angepange01 in reply to Karmakat

Hi there

Thanks for your reply

Avoid sugar you say!! I think my husbands whole diet consists of sugery crap!! Hes not overweight really although he should be with the amount of fizzy drinks chocolate etc that he loves to consume. He used to drink a bit more when he was younger and went out a lot more but nowadays not so much. He drinks copius amounts of tea coke and lucozade all of which he will never give up, I know that for sure! Tumeric I just know he wont try it he is really funny about things. He is a very plain eater and likes what he likes. I dont see why he wouldnt be up for taking vitamin supplements so i will look into that and also may be up for some form of meditation as he does find it hard to sleep at night although he has always been a night owl as long as ive known him.

Above all else, you're amazing for hanging in there, being supportive, and reaching out. His story reminds me a lot of my own in terms of anxiety, panic, and depression. Most definitely alcohol and other drugs are going to make for good short-term patches. The problem is they only provide relief for those moments....and then we use more and more and more. I finally had to cut alcohol out for my own safety and for my relationship. I know you have to feel fairly helpless witnessing that but wanting the best for him.

Medicinally, things will take a lot of trial and error and time. He probably knows this. You have to find the right people around you between a GP, psychiatrist, and a therapist. CBT is going to be key because it deals with confronting the problem logically and overcoming the fear and worry.

Supplements worth trying...probiotics because they say the gut and mind are connected and probiotics increase the good gut flora in theory. Magnesium and calcium...improves nervous system health (though careful on the amount, too much magnesium isn't good for the heart). L-Theanine sometimes sold as Suntheanine is an amino acid found in green tea that promotes focus and a reduction in stress. Fish oils high in Omega 3's, 6's, and 9's are great because they promote good health in several areas (cholesterol, cardio, and nervous system). Newer thinking promoted is CBD oil or hemp oil (though I've read hemp oil is not potent like CBD is). As I work for a job where random drug testing occurs, I could only try hemp oil....and my lone reaction with it was it helped put me to sleep when I was feeling a bit of insomnia. St. John's Wort, Valerian Root, and Kava Kava are apparently helpful, BUT you really need to check if they have any interactions with other supplements and prescribed meds....they usually do. My acupuncturist also had me try something called Minchex...it's main ingredient is iodine (which would help someone with hypothyroidism) but it also shows to interact in a helpful manner with neurotransmitters. It does have some churned up animal parts (cow/sheep/pig - a quick search on the Net found that each of these did show studies showing improvements for mental health). Thus far, I can say it might have helped, but I can't say for sure.....$30 a bottle, I'm not quite ready to re-up on that.

I would also recommend things I was usually skeptical of until I tried them in terms of treatments or ideas: mindfulness/meditation/deep breathing techniques. There are apps, books, and so much on the web. Claire Weekes is a favorite on here and I would add Aaron Beck who helped design CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). Apps like Calm, Headspace, and 10% Happier help even the beginner or beyond begin to work on a more "head on" approach by using all those techniques I mentioned. Some will cost money, but thankfully a lot of the same resources can be found on YouTube. Occasionally for some, aromatherapy is helpful....AKA essential oils. I use a blend my therapist gave me called Liquid Xanax (no real stuff in it...just a fancy name). While it doesn't cure all, sometimes I feel like it's helpful having a relaxing scent on or around me. Acupuncture is another area that has done a tremendous amount of good for me. I wish the feeling I leave with was the feeling I had all week long. That said, I leave feeling super relaxed. If he doesn't already, exercise (in any form) is one of the best things to do. It has immense impact on the mind. I've also tried an expensive ($200-300) investment in Touchpoints (the idea is bi-lateral stimulation - BLAST) in two mechanisms that vibrate in sync between both sides of the body. They're small squares that can be worn with bracelets that come along with the purchase or you can put them in pockets or socks (I prefer socks...they can also be a bit noisy like a vibrating cell phone). Oddly, I feel these may help a bit, but again, the cost isn't exactly easy to swallow.

Sorry for the length, but I truly hope this helps give you a few ideas. I'm hoping one of these even helps provide some new relief. Mental health can be tough to deal with, but also to support. Hoping the best for you both...be sure to take care!

Angepange01 profile image
Angepange01

Hi

Thanks for your reply

Let me start with wow you have tried a lot!!

Years ago I said he should of gone to talk to someone aswell as taking Fluoxitine, but counselling is not for everyone although I think now years on and with hindsight he wishes he had of. Never too late I know but really he feels like he is way past talking about things and he isnt one for talking about his feelings anyway. Not sure if we can get all the same things as you as it seems by you typing dollars we are not in the same country. However I will look into what you have suggested so thank you for that. No cure for depreesion I know but finding the right thing for the right person is crucial and not sure we have found the right thing for him yet.

SuZQ154 profile image
SuZQ154

You sound very supportive and proactive in your search to help your husband. That is wonderful but can be exhausting, too. I just read this article this morning. You might want to check it out. bit.ly/2WnvH7v It reminded me that I have to take care of myself in order to care for others well. Hope this helps.

Angepange01 profile image
Angepange01

I try to be supportive but it can be difficult at times. Ive found and ordered some vegetable tablets online that hes gonna try they are called Joyful the name jumped out at me so I read a bit about it and my husband said order them lets give it go.

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