Confused

[Sunflowerlover74]

I have dealt with anxiety and major depressive disorder since 2003. I struggle with it daily. I was in an abusive marriage for 15 years. I learned to isolated myself to hide my pain and criticism from others. It got to the point where my friends and family stopped talking to me. I am remarried, but I continue to isolate myself. There are days that I have no motivation and would just sleep all day if I could. My husband now can not understand why I am this way since I am no longer in an abusive relationship. He also doesn't feel that I should be taking an antidepressant. I wish I could get him to understand what I am going through without him being critical.

Sunflowerlover74

[kkat37]

So sorry to hear that your husband doesn’t understand, have you tried to explain to him that the habit of dealing with something so traumatic created this need for isolation and loneliness and that with the medicines help you will he able to retrain your head to not want loneliness. If you do counseling maybe he can come to a session with you or something its hard for people to understand. Just take your time and soon you will come out of that habit and enjoy company of friends and family more.

[Sunflowerlover74 in reply to kkat37]

Thank you for your response! I have tried explaining it to him, but he feels that it should be mind over matter. I have tried counceling several times, but it gets too hurtful to open up so I don't go back. I wish that I could be a stronger willed person and less passive. I do not like confrontation so, I guess that is why I don't push the subject onto my husband that much. It gets lonely.

[kkat37 in reply to Sunflowerlover74]

Oh ok it’s hard to explain to someone who has never dealt with it before. Maybe you can suggest he go to counseling so he can understand how to help you more or purchase a book for him that can help him understand how to be more helpful. I hope you are able to find common ground so that this doesn’t strain your relationship. Maybe he could join the forum it might help him with his awareness.

[susanv1994]

I understand how you are feeling for years, I didn't understand, I thought as your husband did that once I was out of the situation, the trauma was over and the kids and I should be fine. I was wrong. We should have had counseling asap. It would have prevented many of the problems in my current marriage. Kkat37 suggested getting your husband to go to therapy with you so the therapist can help explain. This sounds like a great idea.