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[tppppppp]

I prayed god would take me again today. Ive basically decided I have 2 ways now. One is god let's me die. The other is I find a way to live with this forever.

[Hidden]

Don’t give up. No cross no crown. Run the race till the end. No Easter Sunday without Good Friday. God loves you and your sufferings are not in vain.

[tppppppp in reply to Hidden]

I know he loves me. But he can be very cruel.

[Nom-D-Ploom in reply to tppppppp]

I used to get so angry at God. I prayed almost every night that He would let me die...……..but I added another prayer. I said that if my life wouldn't change, I wanted to die. I only asked for 1 thing: I wanted to be loved by 1 person. I didn't care whom. I just wanted to know what that felt like. 1 person, and I would be happy to live out my timeline.

Does God do evil? Atheists claim he does......which is confusing......He does allow hard things to happen. Why? I don't know.

When we don't know the answer we have to go back to the Bible. Joseph was falsely imprisoned. That was a hard thing, but being in that prison set him up to save countless lives, including the lives of his own family. The true prophet told the people of Judah that God had plans to prosper them. How? They were going to be captured and taken to Babylon. The profit was spiritual.

I wrote a song a long time ago called Light a Candle. It goes,

"Light a candle. Now blow it out.

Remember when you start to doubt.

This is your life in eternity.

A moment's pain and forever peace.

You're hurting now , and I understand..

You want to know what I have planned.

These things are not for you to know,

You have to trust me as you go.

Light a candle. Now blow it out."

Your life is so short. Every day is worth fighting for. Even hard days.

[tppppppp in reply to Hidden]

Why would he give me this pain? Why?

[Kat63 in reply to tppppppp]

Can you try to imagine that the pain won’t be forever? I know when you’re in it, it fills your whole world - past, present, and future. But the truth is, life can change for the better. It’s unpredictable, and that’s what drives us crazy.

[Jeff1943 in reply to tppppppp]

Someone who had a near death experience had the temerity to ask God why there is so much suffering in the world? The reply was: There has to be pain because there is love.

I'm not sure exactly what God meant but I know he isn't a social worker. He gives us free will for better or for worse.

But no prayer goes unanswered. It may just be in a different way to what you were expecting.

[Hidden in reply to tppppppp]

I am sorry for not replying sooner. I can not speak for God. I can only share what has bought me peace in times of great pain and trial. Jesus did not give up in the garden when he was praying before he was arrested. Even though he asked God to take the sufferings away he prayed let this cup pass from me but not as I will but as you will. Jesus is human and God and didn’t want to suffer but placed his trust in God to bring a greater good out of the evil of suffering. Suffering before that had no merit. God sanctified suffering through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. I now unite my sufferings with Jesus’s on the cross placing trust in God to bring about a great good from it. That is what helps me. I know words can’t take pain away. I hope you feel better. I too am in pain. Both physical and emotional. 🤗

[Nom-D-Ploom in reply to tppppppp]

Pain is a sign to let us know that something is wrong, and needs attention. God is the giver of life. Therefore, death is an enemy. We have to fight the urge to run to the enemy. But we are not without weapons. We are not alone in the fight. We have therapists and doctors, we have the battle plan in the Bible. We have comrades here.

[Hidden]

I followed up in another post and I truly hope you take a second to read it. I'll add more with this...I remember reading a poem in an English Comp class that really hit home. While it's from a man to his ailing (dying) father, it's so damn perfect...I think...for you. "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" by Dylan Thomas.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Do the latter of what you've came to terms with. Rage and fight this SOB that has you feeling this way. Do not go gentle into that good night. The other post has a lot more to it that I replied to. I am pulling for you and I truly hope you can cope, manage, and keep finding your way through the shitty parts of the "maze" that is life. We all hit the impassable parts that require us to loop back around...you will also find this.

[Kat63 in reply to Hidden]

I love that poem. It’s very fitting here.

[Hope_less]

You're not alone - I pray for God to take me every single day of my life. I am just so tired of all the hurt, pain and loneliness. Wish I had some words of wisdom to offer but I'm hanging on by a thread myself.