not measuring up/lacking confidence in my passion

[12345guitar]

hi everyone,

so i’m a boarding arts high school student where i major in theater. auditions and callbacks were this week and all theater majors audition for the spring musical, the biggest show of the year. only juniors and seniors are ever really cast and it’s a musical that’s perfect for my voice type and i really want to be cast. i’m a junior so this is the first time i’ve ever really been considered for spring musical. i’ve been very fortunate in the department and i’ve been cast in smaller shows since freshman year and this year i was in the ensemble of mamma mia which was a huge show in the fall. so auditions for the spring musical were this week and callbacks came out today. i’ve has a big problem with my confidence recently, especially regarding theater, because i am always in competition with my friends for roles and it feels like i’m never doing my best. i found out today that i didn’t get a callback and all my friends did and it probably means i won’t be cast. i’m having a lot of trouble not being really upset about it, because not only did i feel like my audition went really well so i couldn’t have done any better really but i also feel like all my friends did better than me. i know logically that it’s probably that i’m not in the director’s vision of the show and that’s okay, but it’s so incredibly hard to not take it personally and i feel like i have no one to talk to about it because even though i love my friends, it feels almost like defeat and i just feel awful about myself and my work right now even though i love what i do. what can i do to not only keep pushing myself forward and not take it personally but to also use this experience of rejection to help me?

[Rick1on1]

Hi, these are the growing pains everyone has told you about.

As we age, rejection is going to become more frequent and if we can accept this as part of life, then you will handle the future much better.

You pretty much answered yourself in this post by admitting that although you did your best, you did not get the callback. Maybe ask the Director what you could have done better but don't harp on any criticism.

If this is what you love doing, then find enjoyment in the process until you get your time under the spotlight.

Good luck and hope to see your name in lights some day!