Wow!

[heilene09]

Reading many of the posts and knowing the feelings and thoughts exactly. Time can fly by and I feel knumb to it. I think often on whether or not we will feel anything after we die because bad depression is torture in life. It's been so long and I wonder if I will ever be able to find the joy in life again.

[Kat63]

I know I don’t really want to die, and am not suicidal. But sometimes I envy people who recently died. They’ll never have to feel crazy again, or deal with frightening emotions again.

[heilene09 in reply to Kat63]

Hi Kat,

I think on those things a lot. I don't like to because I have a daughter that needs me, she is 9 and I do have adult children and grandchildren. I struggle thinking that they need me especially my 9 year old. As much as I feel everyday is so hard with depression I want to be happy so that I can enjoy and be there for the kids. It's hard though when you have seen or experienced traumas that leave lasting impressions you think that life includes happiness but also disparity. Thanks for your post Kat!

[Hidden]

I get that. Reading posts can definitely trigger. Makes us shut down, not feel, run away, be mad, be overwhelmed. All we can do is try to be aware of our triggers and try to act accordingly, like a robot sometimes. Don't get caught up in the moment, take a breath, think of a healthy coping strategy. 24 hours in a day. 8 hrs ish to try to sleep if we can. 8 hrs ish to work, have a job, keep your mind busy with busy work and lastly. 8 hrs ish to do whatever needs to be done. Chores, shopping, gym, watch tv, computer time, hang out with friends, our "me" time. Our brain works 24/7, 365 days a year etc etc etc. It needs something to do and sometimes nothing to do.

When we die, none of us really know what is next. Heaven, hell, next life, nothingness, we don't know. What if its worse? Death is not a guarantee to peace.