Hi

[tppppppp]

Hello. I moved about 9 months ago and have been severely depressed for about 6 of those. In seeing a therapist and have been trying to work on my issues. I fight suicidal thoughts every day now and don't sleep well either. I have a loving family that just wants me to be better. I'm trying. I have to help myself. I'm working on that.

[Hidden]

Hey there, so sorry that you are feeling this way. Have you gone to a doctor about your suicidal thoughts, they might be able to prescribe you an antidepressant. You are strong and I know that you will get through this. Keep fighting. ❤️

Feel free to pm me if you need someone to talk too.

[tppppppp in reply to Hidden]

Yes I was on Prozac but came off that. I'm seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow and am seeing my 3rd therapist. This one more focused on cbt. But I've barely started with him. I know what my issue is. But to fix it I put myself over my family. And I'm trying to not put me first.

[Hidden in reply to tppppppp]

I know how that feels. Unfortunately you cannot help your family whilst you are feeling like this and it would be best for everyone for you to focus on getting better. I know that CBT can be very effective for treating depression. Hope this helps you - please pm me after and let me know how you get on ❤️

[tppppppp in reply to Hidden]

I know how to fix me. But that means uprooting my family to move back to where we moved from. I can't do that to them. They are what's important to me. I have to relearn that.

[JAYnLA in reply to tppppppp]

It's really important to allow yourself to be 'selfish' when it comes to your healing. It has been liberating to me to realize this.

[tppppppp in reply to JAYnLA]

I have been too selfish. It's time to start thinking of other people.

[Pagesofwords]

Hang in there, my friend. You can do it! One step at a time. Remember you are loved and you are precious. You are so very much needed in this life. I understand thoughts of dying as a better option or the only option to depressed moods. I fought those and tolerated those myself for years while wearing a variety of "masks," such as content, competent, worthwhile, giving, and caring. Somehow I came to realize that these "masks" are more the true me than the wishes to die. Depression lies to us. It fools us into thinking the opposite is true--the negativity, the failing, the worthlessness--these are the internal, unhealthy "masks." Don't believe the lies. Trust in the value of your life even if you don't feel it right now.