Update

[Kevin160]

Hey everyone , i cant believe its been 2 weeks since my last panic attack ,

2 weeks!!! Mever thought it would ever ever happen , i just started accepting it im living and trusting it wont kill me to panic constantly to a point where i go to sleep and see that i havent felt constantly anxious all day , i have had a few times where i felt a bit anxious , or started overthinking, but im surprised that i felt the closest to normal as ever these past two weeks, i had the same thoughts, but i didnt panic or felt too amxious

I guess sometimes for example like today i get thoughts worrying that im going to get worse, i feel myself more cautious over things because i worry the slightest things will cause my anxiety to increase , i like that im not too worried but i just would do anything to stay stress free, i find myself thinking alot about the future , and worrying what might happen , because things can change in a heartbeat

When i worry about an irrational thought such as starting to get panic attacks and getting non stop anxiety even when i know its harmless is scary but i get a few heart palpitations and i find myself getting calmer because i just imagine what if then i see that no im fine ....

I guess i get thoughts that are sometimes depressing and maybe possible i dont know , and i enjoy life alot but i just have many limitations and fears that sometimes stops me from enjoying life, and im young so i know there is no hurry but i guess it will pass i just have to be patient

Im more than happy with all the progress , i mean i still want to not think about or have these thoughs always and have to manage or accept them etc..but i mean im still grateful

[Mumma_h]

Hi kevin160, I'm soooo happy for you . I've only had one panic attack (but have depression and anxiety every day) and it was terrifying, almost passed out , shook all over and my feet and hands went numb. My main fear was that I was going to take my life once it had finished, luckily I had someone to talk me through it . So I can't imagine what it's like to have them often. I suffered years ago with major depression, so when I had my big breakdown recently I was absolutely terrified of going back into the deep depression again, but I havnt . Still really struggling with my mental health but not in that dark place. I think my fear of going back into it was worse than the depression itself ( probably what caused the panic attack) . But I needn't have feared , cos it didn't happen. Stay focused on how well you are doing!! Don't let the fear take away the happiness you are experiencing now, enjoy it and focus on everything that's bringing you joy. There is nothing to say you'll have them again, I can hardly believe that my deep depression hasn't returned. Soooo happy for you 😘

[Kevin160 in reply to Mumma_h]

Yes im finding myself worrying about panicking and anxiety more than the anxiety itself :(..im glad that its not severe now and im able to accept it and cope with it..i just worry that im going to lose my mind and start developing depression and start hating myself and develop suicidal thoughts..i just been through so much these past few months , my life was turned 360 degrees and i feel that i cant control stress like i used too, im thankful for all i have learnt, but now whenever i think of stress i worry if i will become stressed or anxious, like i think of something bad and t happens...these 2 weeks were amazing , but i just feel down sometimes

[SirGrits]

Hey Kevin160, this sounds fantastic. Like it's exactly how thing should look for you at this stage maybe. Keep tracking.

A few years back I got into insomnia and then sleep anxiety. My first realizations of my anxiety, my own overthinking. It was a vicious cycle. I became more concerned about whether I'd get enough sleep that night, than anything else. And then that fear would keep me awake. Things started to turn when I accepted the fact that no sleep wasn't that big a deal, that it wasn't the end of the world. It demystified it all. I get the feeling that you're starting to realize that anxiety can be dealt with. In my own story, even now relapses happen tho less frequent. Just remember that relapses do happen and they don't necessarily mean that you're not progressing.

God speed.

[Kevin160 in reply to SirGrits]

I really appreciate your comment, to be honest it came just in time, today i started feeling very anxious, i had a rough day, an argument with a friend, a very long day where i had to take extra classes , had a couple exams , spent the whole day driving, and i dont really like to it causes anxiety for me sometimes, my mom was sick and was going to go to the ER , i had a headache and felt tired all day, i had to study for an exam tomorrow , so i decided that i take a shower but it made it worse because my heart was just palpitating and although i wasnt that scared after all the events today the pressure got to me because i just tend to worry and panic easily, im accepting it and realizing it wont kill me but sometimes its hard to convince yourself especially when it has been a while since your last actual anxiety attack, i would say this whole day my anxiety was about a 5-6 out of 10 , i didnt have any panic attack and i didnt feel panic, but just felt kind of anxious and my heart racing all day , and got a few unwanted thoughts i couldnt seem to shake, i didnt try to ignore it i tried to experience it and not fear, it made it better but its bittersweet, i feel at times that im not going to handke life, that if i cant handle today how can i handle the rest of my life where im older amd can get a heart attack or a stroke from this panic disorder , but at times i feel strong and i grow more and more mentally , its exhuasting but your comment made it a bit better because i realized im doing ok , i just dont want to relapse, the last 2 and a half weeks were amazing , i felt so calm and happy and actually my old normal self that eventho had stress i would not let it comtrol me and i felt strong ..but today shades of the past few momths where constant panic and stress for weeks at a time would occur with panic attacks and pain and sleepless nights and just death thoughts and thinking im losing my mind , i have come so far and im proud but its just so hard now idk what to do and where to go from here , like im afraid that even when i accept this anxiety and even if it doesnt hurt me it will stay constant, i know i have to live with it and it diesnt bother me like bedore but whenever i get irrational thoughts my heart races and i panic a bit , its the thought now , just thinking of something triggers it , and you cant just stop and forget something , although i wish sometimes, but i dint wish to forget akl the great lessons along the way