I should be resting at this moment, tomorrow I am being admitted to a new operation, my anxiety has increased since Saturday, I have slept about six hours since that moment, my heart beats harder, I hate those palpitations, I sweat my hands, I feel that chill run down my back, and it's not pleasant, I've had several episodes of panic, which I've been feeling so real, so tomorrow I should also meet with my psychiatrist and my psychologist, ah! and a new psychologist, now there are two, something that does not excite me much, I pray that tomorrow none of my demons will leave, otherwise my stay in the Hospital will be longer, I need to calm the mind, but none of my support systems What I know has turned out, not even my medication helps me, I need a break from all this.
I'm too scared, I'm really scared.
Written by
Ezrah
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3 Replies
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I’m so sorry. I wish I had the magical words that would ease your mind, your heart beat, & allow you peace. Unfortunately, I am feeling the same way right now, but I wanted to reach out to let you know that you’re not alone & I am with you. I’m sending you so much love, support, healing vibes, & well wishes for tomorrow. Maybe try to put on some calming music & close your eyes, even if you cannot sleep, just lay in the dark & try to take deep breaths. Maybe even a nice bubble bath would make you feel better. We are all here for you. Xoxoxo 💜
Hey, I'm sorry to hear about all the worry and stress you're taking on. While an operation is definitely a serious matter, try to relax. You will be under in the hands of doctors and nurses who will see to it that you are properly cared for. If something WERE to happen, you're in the best possible place for help. You sound tremendously overwhelmed, and I know a lot of us on here have been in those exact shoes. I know nothing can truly relax you based on what you've said but try putting a little trust in the process and yourself. Don't overload your mind with a full deck of cards...work with them one by one instead of stressing yourself out over the entire picture. Breathe and focus on the now instead of all the things on your plate. While it's great to be prepared, sometimes launching ourselves into the future trying to deal with things that haven't, could, or simply won't happen just doesn't help. I know this is much easier said than done. For now, I'd recommend on breathing and getting through your operation. Picture it in a rational way...you'll check in, you'll prep, and they'll begin something they do probably almost every day or on a consistent basis. See that each picture presents you handling it well, not in alarm...all while you continue to breath peacefully. If they're putting you under via anesthesia, know the moment those medications hit, you'll sleep peacefully while they do their job.
Having had two knee surgeries, I was always worried the night before and had trouble sleeping. Amazingly, the moment I got to the hospital, I just wanted to get it on with already....bring the anesthesia on so I can sleep. Trust that you'll be okay and handle the future things one by one...there's no need to multitask life like that when you're dealing with something tomorrow. As mentioned above, breath, take an easing bath, or listen to some ambient music that can rest your body. You've been doing it, you're doing it, and you will do it. Have faith and best of luck!
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