Lost

[kuzuri-love]

I feel so lost. I haven't been able to find the words to describe how I feel but lost seems to be the perfect word for that. I feel like my depression is just getting worse and worse. My psychiatrist upped my dosage the other day so I hope it will help. My anxiety has been through the roof lately. It sucks. It hurts. Sometimes I know every reason for being sad and sometimes I don't. I guess that's what depression is, though. I feel very alone in life. My friends are hardly real friends. My significant other is there but also just feels like he isn't. I'm tired of my life. I so desperately long for a way out of this life, to just end it all. I don't feel like I'm living but more so just existing. I hate everything about this feeling. I sometimes hate myself for it, I'm not sure why. I just wish it could all end.

[Mumma_h]

Oh my goodness kuzuri -love , as I just replied to some others I wish I had the answers but I don't right now. But what ican say is I truly and deeply completely understand your pain . You aren't alone. I had major depression for many years but when I reached out no one understood so I just kept it inside while I was slowly dieing inside . It hurts so much I know when your friends don't truly get it and how horrible it is . Just know there are people who have been there , understand you and know how lonely it can be . I did get better so keep hopeful, didn't even consider it was possible to feel happy and alive and have a day with purpose again, but I did. I'm on antidepressants and bugger it , if it helps I'll do it . It's not your fault , it's nothing you're doing wrong and it's not because you aren't trying enough if anyone makes you feel that way , that I'm sure of !!!! Express yourself here, there are truly kind hearted people who absolutely understand. Hope this gives you just a little lift and hope ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[kuzuri-love in reply to Mumma_h]

Thank you so much I really appreciate it! It helps me to hear from people who have gotten better from depression

[kalinevada]

Very well said, been there/still there! Stick with it. keep doc. informed?complain bout wat is troubling you. 1 day at a time. cbd oil?

[kuzuri-love in reply to kalinevada]

I might try the oil. My friend was talking about it the other day so maybe I’ll look into it. Thank you!

[Paula1982]

Hey hope you're feeling better. I know those feelings of complete hopelessness very well. Of friends and family just not getting it and honestly they don't need to. They just need to not say anything but be a listening ear. Take it moment by moment. Right now I have so much tightness in my chest and this ridiculous anxious feeling in my stomach. And all I can do is sit with it until it subsides and it always does. Just know that these feelings and thought don't last forever. You have an entire community that can relate and support you. Please don't despair. Don't lose yourself to this illness.

[kuzuri-love in reply to Paula1982]

Thank you! And I totally agree. Lots of people don’t understand mental illnesses which is fine but I just wish instead of judging so much they would just listen. Even if you don’t know what to say it’s good to just be there. Thank you though❤️

[Ollyvie]

@ kuzuri-love,

I know life can sometime feel like not worth living but if you hold on a little longer and get some help thing might get better. There is no easy fix for those dealing with anxiety and depression. Sometimes it is trying different things until one particular thing solve the problem. Everyone is different and mostly one particular medication may not work for even someone in the same condition. Its looks like your doctor is trying to work with you to figure out which medication or dose will be best work for you. Don’t give up hope. There is hope for you no matter how impossible it looks. Even if you have tried before don’t give up on yourself. If you have survived it till now, then you’ve got what it takes to deal with it and possible overcome. You are indeed an overcomer. Give yourself a chance again. I know you can’t help how you feel and I understand how you feel. Want you to know that you are not alone. Will keep you in my prayers. God is with you and love you. You are precious to God and he will help you through this. Keep hope alive. I read through this resource and it has been helpful. You can also look at it when you have the time. bit.ly/2ic5SWi. Best wishes and hugs from me.

[kuzuri-love in reply to Ollyvie]

This means a lot, thank you so so much!❤️

[Ollyvie in reply to kuzuri-love]

You are welcome dear