When your fight is a losing battle.

[anich11]

How do you cope with the feeling of being punished when you have done nothing wrong. Feeling like you are helpless, I lost custody of my child for living in a different state 2 years ago. Even though the other parent is neglectful and denies me to see my child, somehow the courts are still in his favor because I live in another state. I am doing my best to get a new job, and get moved back but it is not as easy as the courts seem to think it is. I feel like no matter how much good I do, I keep getting the raw end of the deal. It seems you cannot move and further you education and career as that will cost you your child.

[softwaremom00]

Realize that your custody situation is not a reflection of you as a person. Love yourself.. if possible send letters.. (real letters) to your children and correspond as much as you can. There is not much you can do. If you believe in God or a higher power then leave it in his/her hands or the hands of fate. You can only do what you can do. I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. I am sure it is heart breaking.

lots of hugs and prayers,

Softwaremom

[art62grammie]

Oh! I feel for you. I am so glad you posted. I am kind of in the same boat but not entirely. The pain that we go through when we lose our children to divorce. When I recently divorced the pain of losing my 15- year-old son to his dad. I too was innocent. I did everything for them. I had this child at age 41. My grandkids are his age. He was 14 when the divorce began. He only lives an hour from me now. He took his dad's side. Dad is his idol. OMG! I was used as a slave so to speak by that man. We had 250 head of cattle. I took care of them all by myself. He worked at the post office. He used me to make him wealthy and told me it was all his. His money and his retirement. Oh did that put fire in me? For 17 years, I worked very hard. The divorce went that we have joint custody. He resides with his dad. At the age my son is. He can choose. He chose only one parent and not me. I have not seen him in a year and a half. We hardly text or anything. I have made suggestions that we go for supper. He does not respond. Oh! The pain we do feel as loving parents. I had to do just what my mental doctor said. Let him go. It was destroying me. I have fought too hard to recover from 40 years of Anorexia. I won the battle recently. Daily I must recover. I had to let my son go no matter how much it hurts. To save me. I am starting to cry I will shut up. Be strong no matter how hard it is. LOve you and I do know your pain.

[terriltwin2]

I am so sorry for your struggle, I know your child knows you love them. Have you kept in contact with your child? Just keep the communication lines open, Have you kept good records of all that you have accomplished and the times you keep in contact with your child? It is such a struggle. At one point my son could not get a break and he wanted to be a part of his child's life. He just took one step at a time and kept good records and we prayed and left all of it in God's hands. I would remind him, faith as small as a mustard seed and one prayer can move mountains. You are strong and loving and responsible, you will get through and your child will know you love them. Blessings for you.