Suicidal ideation part 2: Currently... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Suicidal ideation part 2

Imaginator997 profile image
3 Replies

Currently struggling, talked to the doctor and he says it is normal what I am going through. Event though I am still struggling with thoughts of killing myself. Like today I went to school and while taking a final I thought of coming home and taking a bunch of pills, but my dad was home. I was disappointed. Just this past week over the February break, I was struggling with suicidal ideation. I was having thoughts of killing my self for no direct reason. The weak before February break I just started school after my fourth hospitalization, and I am pretty sure that is what triggered it. I started thinking about my future my career and it stressed me out, despite being told to take it one step at a time. Yet I am still excited for my birthday to get a new phone but then what happens is I still get these upsessive suicidal thoughts. Ultimately and recently I have been thinking that I can’t live life like this anymore so I might as well just act on these suicidal thoughts. After all to me death is an easier option than life. Bottom line I am getting suicidal thoughts out of nowhere, example in a crowded store I start getting suicidal thoughts. And it’s coming to a point where I just can’t take it anymore, who can live there life feeling suicidal everyday when they have no solid reason. I do have a history of depression mainly associated with school and academic pressure. Sorry if this post is a mess I am just venting but I really want to know if there others suffering from what I am going through.

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Imaginator997
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pink83737 profile image
pink83737

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way but please know it gets better, I know it might not seem like that right now but grow through what you go through! You’re so strong, you’re here for a reason love. How do you think your family, friends, pets would feel if you killed yourself? Suicide doesn’t end pain it passes it down to someone else. Please don’t hurt yourself this life is tough but it’s worth living. I’ve been where you’re at before and it’s not fun. We all go through things and then once we go through them and get past them we can help out others. There is beauty in that. Your birthday is something to look forward to! When is it? Happy early birthday!

Imaginator997 profile image
Imaginator997

Thanks for your reply, and what you said is true unfortunately for me these suicidal thoughts are just very intense and uncontrollable it is tough to handle, and I feel hopeless that I might act on these thoughts one day.

froggymom88 profile image
froggymom88

It is not hopeless. It feels that way sometimes, but it is a lie. I've been there. It can and will get better if you keep working at it. When you get those suicidal thoughts, reject them and replace them with a happy thought from your past. Say positive statements as often as you can. Talk to your doctor again or try another doctor. Remember there are hotlines and you can always reach out. We care!

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