First Post- My story

[bigdeal]

Good Day

I have been an active follower here but this is my first time to post.

I have sufferred from GAD for almost 13 years. Started with a bad panic attack which led to another. Went to the ER several times and was disgnosed with hypertension. But I was just 27 at that time, non smoker healthy eater.

But the consequences of these events made me avoid hard exercise until these day. Used to play sports but I became afraid of exertion. I worked my way to become contended with brisk walking as my exercise.

But the fact remains that I became a hypochondriac because of these. Had so many visits to the doctor over aches and pains I felt and they found nothing serious. I get reassured for a time but later on Im back at it again.

The sad part is I dont know why I had my first panic. I was a such a carefree person then. I admit I was probably strssed over my career then but I could not have imagined something like that to happen.

Today Im married with 1 kid but I still worry a lot about the following;: My health and me.and my family's future. Even if my and my wife have stable good paying jobs I still worry about these things. zi still feel thay there is something wrong with me.

On the other hand, there is still some regret and past disappointmrnt that lingers to this day. Situations that if had done better would have made my life much better. Until now I still.cant let go.

So that's me. Worrier about health, future and still upset about the things that did not go well in my life. If you know me,you will probably tell me that you have nothing to worry about. Why do i still feel otherwise?

My anxiety manifests physically in the form of headaches backaches pain in the wrists and hands and sometimes feelings.of light headedness and agitation. Deliberatrly trying to throw up and crying makes me feel better. Never resorted to medication.

I also read.about Claire Weekes and have been practicing acceptance for almost 10 years. This probably makes my anxiety to mangeable levels and that I still.go out and do things needed even if it felt uncomfortable.

But Im still.longing for the day thay I would totally feel nothing from this. Still a hindrance to make me the best son, husband, father and friend that I could possibly be.

[TheFPK]

Bugdeal - hi. I’ve suffered from anxiety for 38 of my 43 years. I know you’ve probably heard this before, and will again, but you should find a therapist to talk to (see if that type of treatment works) and see a psychiatrist for possible meds. You may be one of the lucky ones who can be completely stabilized by medication.

Don’t try to rationalize what you’re feeling, because it’s impossible. Your brain is stuck in the flight position of fight or flight and it’s not your fault. It’s chemicals.

Before I was on medication I would sit in the couch with racing thoughts of every worry I had, and couldn’t talk about anything else. That doesn’t happen now. I still have severe issues, but your symptoms can be fixed.

I wish you the best of luck. Always put your family relationships first and you’ll have a reason to want to get better.

[bigdeal in reply to TheFPK]

Hello

Thank you for the advice. I actually did several therapy sessions in the past. in a way it helped but I still did not prefer to take meds and instead do acceptance of my symptoms. Hard but managable.

Am i correct that you had anxiety since you were a child? Appreciate if you can share how that went for you

[TheFPK in reply to bigdeal]

Hi. Yes, I’ve had it as long as I can remember. I can recall going to meet my kindergarten teacher and getting a bloody nose because I was so anxious. In elementary school I was so worried that the school would have a fire and my jacket would burn up that I started crying in class. I threw up every morning in 7th grade (during drafting class) for about a month.

High school was interesting. I always had friends, but my social anxiety started manifesting and I began finding excuses not to do things. My stomach was a constant mess because — girls.

I got bad grades on purpose just to spite my mother, and never went to college for the same reason.

I think this is genetic and due to the atmosphere I grew up in (parents constantly fighting, mother making me feel like I was a bad kid, eventual divorce and loss of our house).

During this time I was never officially diagnosed or put on meds. I was considered a sad, nervous kid. It’s sad to think things could have been different.

I hope that helps. Let me know if you had specific questions.

[Icanbeathis2016]

I totally understand how you worry about your health and your future. I think because we have children that's why our health and future matter more because we have people we are living for. I too have had my share of doctors visits spending lots of money getting blood work after blood work. I've always been an anxious person but the symptoms of anxiety didn't come to haunt me until 2015. I also criticize my own past, always stuck in the past and become disappointed and then I cant stay out the future worried if something bad will happen. I tried medication once when I first started going through this bad in 2016. I took meds for 45 days and quit and never took meds anymore. So I'm trying to do this without it too. Just through acceptance. But its rough. I'd like to share my broadcast endeavor with you. I'm actually talking about my anxiety and my fears of fate and what I go through. It gives me a chance to show my face as I share my journey. Check it out if you can. I wish us the best.😊

youtu.be/p6PbhX3FrwQ(Not working as expected?)