Hi I'm jo, I feel so alone, need to hear normal convo, rather than sit hear with my partner, who is treating me so bad, for nothing

[Joanna3]

Hi I'm jo, I feel so alone, need to hear normal convo, rather than sit hear with my partner, who is treating me so bad, for nothing. X

[kenster1]

hi in what way is he treating you bad.

[Joanna3 in reply to kenster1]

He says I'm old , and nothing anymore.

We've been together 15 years, its killing me.

Thanks for your reply, its nice to no theres nice people out there. X

[kenster1 in reply to Joanna3]

no worries could you attend counselling together maybe.

[Joanna3 in reply to kenster1]

I wish trust!

He doesn't think he does anything wrong.

[kenster1 in reply to Joanna3]

I am 13 years older than my mrs but its not a problem with age my anxiety/depression is the problem.

[Joanna3 in reply to kenster1]

What makes u suffer?

[kenster1 in reply to Joanna3]

to many deaths physical pain and things relating to when I was younger.

[Joanna3 in reply to kenster1]

That sounds heavy.

It must be really hard for u.

I also suffer from losing my whole family and regrets from my childhood, and it's hard like u I guess? U cant do anything about the past that u cant change, because there not there anymore .

And that's hard, because u only have your own thoughts. Its harder than facing things that we struggle with in the future and now.

[kenster1 in reply to Joanna3]

yeah true some things are ongoing so really hard to move on from it.i think you and your partner should find new ways to fill up your time and enjoy each other again.prety much like I do.

[Joanna3 in reply to kenster1]

Will try, thanks for your support.

[anx1234 in reply to Joanna3]

You’re old? He’s old!

[seamonkee114 in reply to Joanna3]

Joanna3

You need to take shorter walks.

What are you good at ?

What makes you feel good in-

side yourself ?

I am in similar situation. My

b/f is outdoorsmen. Works

in all degree's of weather.

I am enjoying peace and quite

while he is not there. I do love

him. I know he loves me. After

23 yrs., he would be mad to stay

under any other circumstance.

Things need time, to mend, change or sqush out.

Most importantly, be good to

yourself . Take and make the

extra time for your " special

needs ". ie: yourself.

It will also help other area's

of your own self. Medicines

are different.

Take care,

[kenster1]

maybe your partner is silently suffering.

[Hidden]

Hi Joanna3, let it roll off your sleeve, if we live long enough we get old. I look at myself in the mirror, my skin is aging and my hair is turning white; I call myself old, but glad to be here. I am just trying to counter some of the aging that takes place by eating better, using anti aging products for my skin and exercise. That is all we can do.

[Joanna3 in reply to Hidden]

Thank u, guess your right.

[dore13]

Only hurting people, hurt people. I tend to be a bit impulsive when I feel under attack from someone, if he said to me, you are old.... I would say, then so are you! But that won't help, that will cause more problems, it sounds like he is taking something out on you that is his own internal struggle. I would not allow him to continue to be verbally abusive. I set guidelines, and although someone can have a bad day, if it was continuous, it has to dealt with. Don't let anyone take your self worth away, no one has a right to do that. A person who tries to do that, is someone trying desperately to hide their inadequacies! Even if they are trying to hide it from themselves.

[Joanna3 in reply to dore13]

Thank u for your reply, u have really helped me. I have put up with it for so long now its ridiculous. I say things back to him but it just makes him more horrible.

He says something that makes me paranoid and I'm not aloud to talk to him about it because he says it's just more misery.

Yet he's the one that has said something that's hurt me and made me paranoid. I've told him saying things about what he's going to do to other girls if he leaves me, sometime he says he will do stuff on the web in front of me.

I've told him it makes me feel sick and pulls me further away with him.

But he never changes.

We've been together 15 years but I deserve better. Thanks for your support hope your ok? X

[Wearyofthebattle in reply to Joanna3]

Wow, for him to say those things to you goes way beyond having a bad day. It’s totally unacceptable for anyone to put up with that. It’s hateful, demeaning, and bullying! Arguing back to him in the same way is not helpful, but you do need to draw a line in the sand. But truthfully, nobody but you can make that decision.

[Joanna3 in reply to Wearyofthebattle]

Thank u, it's nice to hear what other people think. When I only have my own thoughts it's hard to think straight. I just get used to it. Thank u.

[dore13 in reply to Joanna3]

definitely abusive context there, it is time to get it fixed or move on. I was with someone 14 years, he was sweet, but then he changed, so I left him. I moved on, and if he isn't willing to get help or change, you may need to consider your options, because that is no way to live. An abuser enjoys tormenting, and that is not acceptable.

[hypercat54]

Hi remind him he is old too and if you are 'nothing' then it's how he has made you feel over the years. I would go on a housework strike too - tell him you are feeling your age and too tired to make his meals and do his laundry! That might make him think twice before slagging you off! x

[Joanna3 in reply to hypercat54]

Lol, thank u, I might give that a go.

[Want2BHappy3]

Hi Jo, seek counseling, find your self worth. Your vulnerable and he is taking advantage of that.

[Joanna3 in reply to Want2BHappy3]

Thank u I'm starting to see it now.

Everyone on here has been really helpful.

[art62grammie]

These posts are well said. I agree with them all. We are aging every day. I am closer to sixty than fifty. I never thought that I would have made it far with dying of Anorexic for forty years. I have recently recovered. That took six years of treatment and still continue. Recovery is a daily process. I too was in a marriage for 17 years. I have recently divorced. My ex would never help me with my illness. Sure, he didn't understand the mind of an Anorexic. He could have at least helped me get mental help. He left me to die in November of 2012. He laughed at me for my illness. He used me as a slave on a 250 head of cattle farming operation. He used me to make him wealthy and then told me all the money was his. I proved him wrong in the divorce. I got what I wanted from the assets. He sure did not like that. No, we can not change the past. We can not help that we may have been victims of childhood rape such as me and many others. We do not need to let the past keep us a prisoner. We move forward and live for us."When the hole is dark and not a glimmer of light. We keep looking for the lightness of day. We go through dark tunnels struggling to found our way out. Soon we begin to see a small light ahead. We keeping on moving towards the light. We are now in full glimpse of that light. We have won. We are now free. Even if we start to fall back into the dark hole. We do not allow it to happen. We share our pains and struggles. Just as we all do on this site. We help others and at the same time, it helps us as well. Freedom from my 40 years of Anorexia. I will never return to that dark hole again. Talk to us. We care and love you.

[mmmmmmmmmmmm]

Hi hope you are feeling well today. As well as you can in your circumstances. I can relate to what you wrote in many ways. We are the emotional intelligent people not the rest of what society defines has normal people. There are exceptions to this, there is never 100% that people are. I hope this brings s little light. What part of the world are you from too.

[Joanna3 in reply to mmmmmmmmmmmm]

Hi thank u it does. I'm from Surrey. Hope your well.

[Hidden]

Hi Joanna - you sound like a really sweet person. Think your partner is playing games with your head. When you reply, tit for tat - you are still in the wrong! May be your partner is growing older too - perhaps he has reached the male menopause? Don't know if there is a gap in your ages but think you need to make yourself feel great. It sounds corny but a make over, can work wonders for your self esteem. Changing your image by having a new hairstyle that you like with a subtle colour change, can do wonders for your facial definition highlighting your strong features and minimising your weaker features. Spending some money on yourself is not a waste of time. I know you are the same person inside but when other people notice how you have changed you are bound to have more confidence in yourself. Finding absorbing past times such as craft or art or even rambling clubs, could help give you space to enjoy yourself. If you are putting up with a grumpy anti social partner finding new interests might make your partner think what he could be losing if you were to leave.

[Joanna3 in reply to Hidden]

Thank u so much, I'm going to take your advice. Try and show him what he's losing if he still cares enough.

[Hidden in reply to Joanna3]

You are worth it - if he does not care - he is not worth it -though I know you still have feelings which are hard to switch off.

[77Horse]

Hello Jo

Firstly don't let your partner say your old and nothing anymore - you are loads and amazing in your own way . NEVER let anyone put you down !

Personal message me if you would like . Stay positive things will work out . Best wishes

[Joanna3 in reply to 77Horse]

Thank u everyone is so supportive on here. Its really helping me. I don't have to sit alone when he is being horrible. And that's refreshing.

[77Horse in reply to Joanna3]

Hello Jo

Please always share your worries there is always someone on Health Unlocked who can help . I am pleased this is helping you . Best wishes

[Joanna3 in reply to 77Horse]

Thank u, hope your well?

[77Horse in reply to Joanna3]

Hello Jo

I am ok thank you for asking. Best wishes

[TorieNWyattsMOM]

Growing old is nothing to be mean or ugly over .. do you feel old? that shouldnt make you sad or upset you sweet girl! smile and let him know he aint no spring chicken either ... jk lol im sorry he hurt your feelings. uncalled for.