I don't know what I want.

[elephant2510]

My social anxiety is terrible, I can't even get up w/out wondering what people think of me. My OCD gets so bad sometimes where it effects my daily life, having to count every single thing I do. I feel like I have a panic attack a few times a week, and I often feel anxious. I just got out of a two year long relationship that was toxic, but I think I still love him. To get over him, I got into something quickly with Someone else, but he was way more in it than I was. During that, I still had feelings for my ex and we even got together a few times and still do. I have no clue what I actually want to do. I am a terrible person. im causing myself to have more anxiety with all of my secrets. and with all this, I can't tell anyone or get professional help bc my parents won't believe me.

[hypercat54]

Hi sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time at the moment. The first thing to remember is that people aren't thinking about you at all let alone judging you as they are much too busy thinking about themselves!

I don't know your age but if you are 16 or above you can seek help without your parents consent. Can you do this? x

[terriltwin2]

I am sorry that your struggle is so real and deep. I have been right where you are at. The secrets and emotional roller coaster are no fun. Have you thought about just taking sometime for yourself and writing down your feelings? Or have you thought about making a list of the good things in your life verses the things that are keeping you anxious? This allows you to mark off things as you go along and it helps you reflect on what you need or don't need in your life. The encouraging thing is that we can take all the time we need and don't have to make any urgent decisions about anything. I have found what helps me is just doing the things that I enjoy and forgetting about all the bad stuff. Just shutting down all the thoughts that make us anxious and enjoy some time to do what you want to do helps,Take time to do you. Take time to love yourself above all other things. You are worthy of loving yourself and taking gentle care of you. Putting your stress and bad thoughts aside for a while will strengthen you. Thinking about you.